Acting Not So Pretty In Pink

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I work at the zoo in the gift shop, where we sell all sorts of zoo- and animal-themed things. On this particular day, a customer and his young son are inside looking at the merchandise. I overhear the dad tell his son he can pick anything he wants and shortly after the son walks over to his father and asks.)

Son: *as he hold up a stuffed animal* “Dad can I have this one?”

(The dad looks annoyed and scolds his son:)

Dad: “No, you can’t! It’s pink! Pink is for girls!”

(The son begins to cry so the dad sighs and turns to me holding a stuffed animal and says:)

Dad: “Hey, you. I want this bird in a boy color like blue.”

Me: “Sir, that toy only comes in pink. It doesn’t come in blue.”

Dad: “Well, why the h*** not!?”

Me: “”Sir, that’s a flamingo.”

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Making False Bald Statements

| KS, USA | Pets & Animals, School

(I am currently working in the birds of prey section when a group of students and a few chaperones walk in.)

Chaperone #1: *points at golden eagle* “Look kids! It’s the state bird of America.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s actually a golden eagle. The bald eagle is the national bird.”

Chaperone #1: “I went to school for four years. I think I know what the state bird of America is!”

Me: “I’m not questioning your intelligence, ma’am, but America does not have a ‘state bird.’ It’s national symbol is, in fact, the bald eagle. If you look at the sign in front of the exhibit you will see that this is a golden eagle.”

Chaperone #1: “That’s a f****** bald eagle! I’m a history teacher! I know my s***!”

Chaperone #2: “Michelle, you are not a teacher! You are merely a chaperone. If you continue to act like this you will never be a chaperone again.”

Chaperone #1: *dumbfounded*

Student: “You tell her, Mrs. [Chaperone #2]!”

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Some People Should Be Barred(code)

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(I am sitting in one of the entry booths. A guest comes up to my booth to check in.)

Me: “Hello! Welcome to the zoo.”

Guest: “Hi! Um… I don’t know which piece of paper I’m supposed to give you.”

Me: “I need the one with the barcode on the front so I can scan it for you.”

Guest: “Oh! Okay. Um…which one is that?”

Me: *points to ticket* “It’s that one right there, on the top.”

Guest: “Oh! Right! Um…which one?”

Me: “The one you’re holding, ma’am.”

Guest: “Of course! Uh, what’s a barcode?”

Me: “Don’t worry about it.” *takes entire stack of paper*

(This happens every day, multiple times a day.)

The Lowest Form Of Life In The Zoo

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I work in retail at a zoo. A teenage girl is talking with her friends and looks over at me.)

Teenage Girl: “Do you think the animals come alive at night after the zoo closes?”

As Sick As A Parrot

| New York City, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(My friend is a small-mammal handler at a zoo. Today, she’s taken a particularly docile ferret out to let visitors encounter it first-hand. A couple comes in with a young child. I’m standing in the background.)

Mother: “Ooh, look, the zoo lady’s got a baby raccoon!”

Father: “That’s some sort of weasel!”

Child: “Mom, I wanna see the octopus.”

Mother: “Let’s go see the nice lady with the raccoon.”

Father: “Weasel.”

(The mother gives the father a look and then approaches my friend.)

Mother: “‘Excuse me, miss, what kind of animal is that?”

Friend: “This is a ferret. Her name is [Name] and she’s very friendly. You can pet her if you take care to avoid—”

Father: “Parrot!? That’s a weasel!”

Friend: “It’s a ferret. They’re in the weasel family, like—”

Father: “You sure?”

Friend: “Yes, very sure. Ferrets are among—”

Father: “Let’s go see the octopus, [Child].”

(They leave in a hurry. Curious, I follow them outside.)

Father: “D*** thing must have been sick. Pretty irresponsible of them to expose us to a sick parrot.”

Child: “Ferret.”

Father: “We just saw the parrot. I thought you wanted to see the octopus.”

Child: “Daddy, is your hearing aid on?”

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