Natural Selection In Action, Part 2

| | Right | July 21, 2008

Zoo visitor: “Aren’t lions vegetarians?”

Me: “No, lions are carnivores.”

Zoo visitor: “I’m sure I read somewhere that they are vegetarians. How are they carnivores?”

Me: “Sir, lions are well known carnivores. They hunt for their food. Their diet consists of mostly meat. They would not survive on fruits and vegetables alone.”

Zoo visitor: “Are you sure about that?”

Me: *sarcastically* “Well, if you really want to you, can jump into the lion exhibit to see if they’ll eat you.”

Zoo visitor: “Vegetarians wouldn’t eat a human, would they?”

Me: “My point exactly.”

 

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No, But They Do A Wonderful Brogue

| | Right | July 10, 2008

Me: “Hi, do you need any help?”

Guy at the zoo: “Yeah… do the chimps, like, speak English?”

Me: “Ummm…. no.”

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Why Context Is Important

| | Right | July 5, 2008

(The zoo sells these SpongeBob ice creams with gumball eyes. I overhear this mother telling her young son eating one outside one of the restaurants…)

Mom: “Oh look honey, when you licked his balls you got stuff all over your face!”

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Please Do Not Pet The Employees

| | Right | June 15, 2008

(I was a volunteer at the zoo, and was walking around an exhibit room with a boa constrictor in my arms so people could pet her.)

Man: “Can we pet it? It’s not slimy, is it?”

Me: “No sir, not at all. She’s very sweet, go ahead.”

Man: *pets snake* “Wow, it’s really soft.” *reaches for my head* “Let’s see if its handler is, too…”

Me: “?!?” *dodges his hand*

(Thankfully, he left quickly!)

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Oh Give Me a Home, Where The Jackalopes Roam

, , | | Right | November 11, 2007

Little boy: “What are those?”

Zookeeper: “That’s a Cavy.”

(Note: Cavies are another name for guinea pigs.)

Little boy’s father: “No, they’re not. They’re Jack-a-lopes. But I don’t see any antlers, so they must all be does.”

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