It is unfortunate, but my city has a huge shoplifting/theft/petty crime issue. Mostly in part to the lovely government not wanting to punish repeat offenders, which leaves local businesses to suffer, despite years of complaints. Police are tired of them, too; it’s that bad. Relevant context for what I am about to share.

It’s early in the morning, I’ve just gotten my breakfast, and the store has barely been open. A man comes in; I give him a chipper as I can muster a greeting while he goes to the candy. After making a selection with a flourish or five, he walks up to the counter.

Customer: *Smiling.* “I’m taking this.”

Me: *Thinking I have a jokester on my hands.* “Okay, you’ll have to pay for it!”

Customer: *Shaking his head smugly.* “No.”

He was serious.

Now, we are a private, independent local business. We have given out freebies before to people in need, and who ask us nicely and with honesty. Neither of which just happened.

I’m tired, sick of all the theft, and recovering from bad congestion, so my patience meter is as short as an overly burned candle wick.

Me: “Then you don’t get it.”

The man turns to leave. I walk around the counter with all of the fury of a disappointed mother. I take the candy from him and put it back. He’s shocked that I defied him, mumbling something about me thinking he is a creep and other commentary. Hard to hear when your sinuses are committing to a strike blockade and blocking off part of your hearing.

What the man apparently doesn’t expect is for me to call out the door after him with an angrier yet disappointed mom tone.

Me: “There is a difference between asking for something nicely and saying you’re gonna take it!”

Customer: *Suddenly VERY meek.* “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

I return inside and resume my day. As I always say: kindness begets kindness, rudeness begets you the f*** out of my store.

The sister of one of my coworkers recently had a baby. Since she’s a single mother, [Coworker] has moved in to help with taking care of the little one. Within a week, it shows on his face and in his actions, until this exchange happens.

Manager: “[Coworker], are you drunk?”

Coworker: “No, but I am sleep-deprived, and there’s not much functional difference.”

Seeing the dangers in having an as-good-as-drunk worker on the floor, [Manager] offered to pull some strings to get [Coworker] some parental leave so he could devote his time to the baby. [Coworker] was happy to accept.

I work in a store that sells all kinds of items from clothing to souvenirs and more. We also sell chocolate. This is important for the story.

 A customer comes in asking if we have a particular item in stock. She comes in with a small dog, which is fine so long as they are behaved and not causing a ruckus, and we start talking about the product. I tell her it’s out of stock and am telling her the options, when her small dog starts barking. Not a big issue, the little fella just wants attention and pets.

The customer picks up her dog, and I, being at the chocolate counter (everything is closed off and out of reach), give the dog a few pets with permission. Of course, the canine is curious about the many smells of the forbidden snack known as chocolate.

Me: “Aw, buddy, there is a bunch of stuff back here that’ll make you sick!”

The dog, now having curiosity satisfied, is put back down by the customer, who promptly tells me this:

Customer: “Oh, dogs not eating chocolate is a myth, you know.”

Me: *Baffled.* “Oh?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’ve fed my dog chocolate, and it’s been just fine!”

Me: *Knowing this is not a battle I am choosing to participate in.* “Oh.”

Customer: “Yeah, same with grapes! My friend asked why dogs can’t eat chocolate, and I said, “I don’t know!” So we did an experiment, and it’s just fine!”

For those who don’t know, grapes have an acid that’s toxic to dogs’ kidneys specifically, and for chocolate, it’s theobromine. On the outside, I have my nodding-along customer service face. Internally? I’m mortified for this dog.

And as if it could not get any worse, as the customer is leaving, she comments:

Customer: “He doesn’t have any of his shots, so that might have something to do with it!”

I’m too gobsmacked to even give out my usual good-bye as she leaves. Some people really should not own animals.

I am currently working a lone shift. The few customers I’ve had today who paid in cash have used big bills for smaller purchases, leaving me with little change. We are an independent business, so we don’t have fat stacks of cash ripe for exchange at any time. As I am alone, I cannot go out and buy more change until another staff member arrives. That’s anywhere between thirty minutes to four hours. 

As my luck as a long-time retail worker would have it, an old lady wants to purchase a single chocolate. We have a discount for seniors. It also applies to the chocolate.

She produces a fifty-dollar bill, much to my dismay and internal wincing.

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry! I don’t have enough change to break that. Do you have a card?”

Customer: “No, I have this, and I want to use my fifty!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but again I’m out of change to break that properly. Do you have anything smaller?”

Customer: “No, I only have bigger. I want to use this.”

She says that like I’m either trying to imply she’s poor or that I’m lowly for being a cashier.

Me: “Well, like I said, I’m sorry, I haven’t enough change to break that.”

She looks at me incredulously.

Customer: “Well, what are you doing then?”

Oh, here we go. Lack of service worker sympathy detected.

Me: “Well, I would have to go to the bank and buy more change, but I can’t leave right now. Customers before you also happened to pay with big bills and cleaned me out pretty bad!”

Customer: “So what then?”

Me: “You could go to one of the banks and see if they can break smaller bills for you?”

Nope, gods forbid I suggest that. She looks at me like I’m doing this on purpose as some incompetent human being. Unfortunately, I’m too jaded from retail to respond with anything other than a cheerful look.

Customer: “Well, the lady who went before me wouldn’t have made a difference.”

The person before her was doing an exchange, for context. I am also not sure how that’s relevant to the fact I have no change? Okay, lady, you do you. I’m sorry I’d like to not short-change you for your purchase?

Me: “The person before you paid with card for their purchase, but it was an exchange just now.”

She then gathers up her fifty from her wallet, with more fifty-dollar bills in it.

Customer: “Well, good thing I didn’t touch it.”

She leaves, with the aura of complaint about her.

The total by the way? $3.30. Lady, if I say I don’t have $46.70 in change, I don’t! Next time, I’ll keep a secret stash of coin rolls for this occasion. It’s retail, though, and people have complained about that too. Sigh.

Related:
Be The Change You Want To Receive In The World

Anyone who has worked in any retail setting knows the situation: no one reads the signs! No matter how big or how obvious, no one seems to read them no matter how hard you try! Then, if they do, it’s only partially. This is a story about the latter.

We had a rather hefty Boxing Day Sale, and it was one day only, but everything was on sale. It was put in our ads, store signs, and social media that it was ONE day only on the 26th.

This takes place the day after when the sale is very much over. The day is far quieter, and an older lady comes in. My coworker helps her out while I am catching up on emails from the holiday rush. She comes up to me holding a wallet.

Coworker: “Is this still on sale?”

Me: “No, the sale was one day only. Outside of our other discount stuff, that wallet isn’t on sale.”

Coworker: “Ah, okay, thought so. This lady says there’s a sign that says it is.”

Now, my memory isn’t the best, but before opening, I made sure to take down every sale sign we had, including the bonus discount sale signs — doubly sure because I’ve worked this job too long. I even triple-check right after the conversation, but alas! No signs. The only sign we have outside saying anything is on discount is our whiteboard sign on an A-frame that stands on the sidewalk. I know for a fact that those discounts don’t include what this lady is talking about because I wrote the sign!

Of course, due to this development, she no longer wants the item. Fair enough. Mistakes happen. Just let it go, right?

Nah. Then this story wouldn’t be here.

Now, if I had missed a sign? It would have still said specifically for Boxing Day. Heck, I’ve honoured old sale signs that could be a little confusing, even if the sale is over. I’ve been on both sides of the counter, but this simply isn’t the case this time. The old lady comes on by my till with a snobby attitude and I-know-more-than-you tone.

Old Lady: “That wallet wasn’t on sale, but your sign says differently.”

I know for a fact it doesn’t, but rather than tell her no, I say this:

Me: “The sign has all of our discounts specified clearly on it out there.”

Then, instead of immediately leaving, the woman went to the door and stood there holding it open, reading the discount sign again. That wouldn’t have been an issue if it hadn’t been -15C (5F) outside! I could tell she was trying to get me on the wrong end, but my discounts were clearly laid out with the percentage off, an arrow pointing to exactly what was discounted, and a clear descriptor. The best part? We had signs inside around those very same sections of the store!

Then, she left as if she hadn’t been craning her neck around the door and letting our precious heat out, defeated by reading comprehension.

I wished her a great day before the door shut!