Seedless, We Promise

| Right | February 23, 2012

(My friend and I are cleaning up at the end of the night at a frozen yogurt shop downtown. Suddenly, a guy walks in.)

Guy: “You need to buy me a piece of pizza cause I ain’t eaten all day!”

Me: “The pizza shop in the mall is closed. I can give you a sample of yogurt.”

(I pour him a sample of acai blueberry yogurt.)

Guy: “What the h*** is that?”

Me: “Yogurt.”

Guy: “Nuh uh, that’s sperm.”

Me: “This is yogurt.”

Guy: “Stop trying to give me sperm! I do scientific research and that is HORSE SPERM!” *runs away*

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Bad Parenting Is A Sticky Fingered Subject

, , , , , , | Right | December 30, 2010

(I work at a self-serve frozen yogurt shop, where people get their own yogurt and toppings then pay by weight.)

Customer: “Excuse me, you should be supervising this store. These kids are putting their fingers in the toppings. It’s not clean!”

(I look around for a parent, but there seems to be nobody else of suitable age in the shop.)

Me: “Are these your children?”

Customer: “Yes, but you should be supervising them! It’s your job!”


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The Fine Art Of Self Grossed-Outification

, , , | Right | March 17, 2008

(Note: we are VERY generous in offering frozen yogurt samples in those tiny paper cups that could fit on your thumb.)

Me: “Here you go, our six choices!” *offers samples*

(The customer takes the samples and shoves the whole thing in her mouth and sucks contents out. When done, she puts the cups back on the counter with yogurt and a LITTLE bit of saliva dripping off the sides. She scoots them in my direction.)

Me: *stares back, thinking, are you serious?*

Customer: *stares back at me for what seems like forever*

Me: “There is a trashcan right below you that you could put those in.”

Customer: “Ew, I’m not touching those! That’s your job.”

(The customer walks away, leaving me staring at the messy glob of cups on our front counter.)


This story is part of our Grossest Customers Ever roundup!

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Short Term Memory Is For The Weak

, , , | Right | January 22, 2008

(We keep lids for our yogurt cups behind the counter and ask each customer if they need one when we give them their order.)

Me: “Would you like a lid for that?”

Female Customer: “No, thank you.”

Me: “Alright, have a nice day.”

(She continues to just stand there after I walk away.)

Female Customer: “Fine! I guess I don’t get a lid then!”

Customer’s Boyfriend: “You just told her you didn’t want one.”

Female Customer: “Oh yeah…”

Me: *facepalm*

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… And We Wonder Why Everyone Hates Us

, , , | Right | November 7, 2007

Customer: “Are you Hispanic?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Middle Eastern?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Egyptian?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “What are you?”

Me: “Chinese.”

(customer puts on offended face)

Customer: “I don’t appreciate you treating me like I’m dumb.”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m being honest.”

Customer: “NO CHINESE PERSON WOULD EVER HAVE EYES AS BIG AS YOURS!”

Me: *mouth wide open*


This story is part of the Lunar New Year roundup!

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