(I’m a fairly petite female college student who works through the semester to try to cover book costs. I opened the shop this day and have been the only employee for quite a few hours. The shop is busy due to the college students returning to town. There’s finally been a break in the line, so I immediately head for a quick restroom break. Once I am inside the restroom, someone keeps trying to open the door even though it is locked. I have a feeling that some small child is playing with the door and I try to open the door slower than normal.)

Me: *opens door square into the forehead of a small girl* “Oh, my goodness! I am so sorry! Are you okay?”

Small Girl: *starts sobbing*

Girl’s Mother: “Oh, honey. It’ll be okay. Shh, shh now. It was an accident. You’ll be okay.”

Me: “I am so sorry about this, ma’am.”

Girl’s Mother: *mouths to me that it’s okay*

(I then feel horrible as I return to the employee back room. I grab a swig of water before heading back out to cashiering the customers that have entered the shop. The small girl and mother slowly make their way through the line. The small girl has stopped crying and seems to be so excited about the candies she can choose from for her yogurt.)

Me: “Okay. Your total today is $[total]. Will that be all for you?”

Girl’s Mother: “No. It won’t. I think you need to change the doors on those bathrooms. They’re a hazard! They need to be changed immediately!”

Me: “I’m so sorry again, ma’am, about what happened. I truly am. I’m glad to see that she is okay right now.”

Girl’s Mother: “No, she’s not! This is going to bruise. I should call up your company and tell them of this incident. I bet you wouldn’t like that here. Your manager should change those doors to swing differently or something; otherwise, I might have to make some phone calls!”

Me: “Ma’am. Once again, I am sorry for what happened.”

(I then go into the legality of how doors open in shops and such to her. I try to keep my composure because I truly felt awful for accidentally hitting the little girl.)

Girl’s Mother: “Well, be sure to leave your manager a note about this! I know it’s not your fault… but that door is a hazard and you should know better!”

(My assistant manager walks in and I relay the story to her.)

Assistant Manager: “This was a mom, right? And she thought that the door wouldn’t potentially be an issue for her daughter standing right next to the doorknob? I need to call my three-year-old and tell him I love him. Some people.”

Customer: “It’s so convenient that this place just opened. I’ve been trying to eat healthier lately, and ice cream is my weakness in the summertime.”

Me: “Oh, I agree. Nothing beats something cold and sweet on a hot day.”

Customer: “I still can’t believe that this stuff is calorie-free. It tastes too good to be true!”

Me: “Um, sir? You are aware that frozen yogurt still has calories, right? It is healthier than ice cream but there are still calories.”

Customer: “What? But what about the bacteria? I was told yogurt has them. They eat all the calories out of it before we can!”

(While cleaning a yogurt machine before opening, I hear the landing noise of the TARDIS. I’m a huge Doctor Who fan.)

Me: “NO WAY!”

(I run to front of store and see no TARDIS. I walk back to office and find my coworker.)

Coworker: *chuckling* “You didn’t think that was real, did you?”

Me: “For a minute there, yes I did!”

(An elderly man walks up to the toppings bar.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Miss?”

Me: “What can I help you with, sir?”

Customer: “Have you got anything with meat in it?”

(This is a frozen yogurt bar. We have various kinds of fruity and sweet yogurts and toppings. No one would usually expect to find meat anywhere.)

Me: “Um, no, sir. Sorry about that.”

Customer: “F****** vegans and vegetarians are taking over the whole f****** world! You haven’t got anything with some beef in it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. That’s actually a kind of unusual request because this is basically dessert stuff.”

Customer: “I’m an American! I ain’t a vegetarian! I eat meat in my dessert because this is America, d*** it!”

(The customer throws his yogurt on the floor, making a huge mess. The next customer jumps out of the way, then resumes getting toppings while I clean.)

Customer #2: “Just when you think you’ve seen it all!”

(I’m taking my kids to a frozen yogurt bar for the first time. Since the teller is helping another customer, I take a quick look at the signs for instructions, which are very clear and obvious. As we’re picking what we want, the teller comes over to see how we’re doing.)

Teller: “Hi! How are you doing? Do you need any help?”

Me: “No, thanks, I think we’ve got it figured out.”

Teller: “Oh, you’ve been in before?”

Me: “Nope, this is our first time, but the directions are really straight-forward…” *laughing* “…and I read the directions. I know that doesn’t always happen.”

Teller: “No, that’s pretty unusual, actually. Really, really unusual.”

Me: “Yeah, I used to work with the public. Members of the general public are idiots.”