Where There’s Smoke, There’s A Liar

| Sacramento , CA, USA | Right | March 5, 2012

(Keep in mind I work in a yogurt shop and we only sell yogurt and candy. An obviously underage customer comes up to be rung up.)

Me: “Is that going to be it for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, can I get a pack of cigarettes too?”

Me: “This is a yogurt shop, sir.”

Customer: “I have my ID though!”

Me: “This is a yogurt shop. Not only do we not sell cigarettes, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to accept a fake ID.”

Customer: *storms out muttering obscenities*

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Seedless, We Promise

| Chicago, IL, USA | Right | February 23, 2012

(My friend and I are cleaning up at the end of the night at a frozen yogurt shop downtown. Suddenly, a guy walks in.)

Guy: “You need to buy me a piece of pizza cause I ain’t eaten all day!”

Me: “The pizza shop in the mall is closed. I can give you a sample of yogurt.”

(I pour him a sample of acai blueberry yogurt.)

Guy: “What the h*** is that?”

Me: “Yogurt.”

Guy: “Nuh uh, that’s sperm.”

Me: “This is yogurt.”

Guy: “Stop trying to give me sperm! I do scientific research and that is HORSE SPERM!” *runs away*

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Bad Parenting Is A Sticky Fingered Subject

| San Luis Obispo, CA, USA | Right | December 30, 2010

(I work at a self-serve frozen yogurt shop, where people get their own yogurt and toppings then pay by weight.)

Customer: “Excuse me, you should be supervising this store. These kids are putting their fingers in the toppings. It’s not clean!”

(I look around for a parent, but there seems to be nobody else of suitable age in the shop.)

Me: “Are these your children?”

Customer: “Yes, but you should be supervising them! It’s your job!”

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The Fine Art Of Self Grossed-Outification

, | | Right | March 17, 2008

(Note: we are VERY generous in offering frozen yogurt samples in those tiny paper cups that could fit on your thumb.)

Me: “Here you go, our six choices!” *offers samples*

(Customer takes samples and shoves the whole thing in her mouth and sucks contents out. When done, she puts the cups back on the counter with yogurt and a LITTLE bit of saliva dripping off the sides. She scoots them in my direction.)

Me: *stares back, thinking, are you serious?*

Customer: *stares back at me for what seems like forever*

Me: “There is a trashcan right below you that you could put those in.”

Customer: “Ew, I’m not touching those! That’s your job.”

(The customer walks away, leaving me staring at the messy glob of cups on our front counter.)

Me: O___o

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Short Term Memory Is For The Weak

, | | Right | January 22, 2008

(We keep lids for our yogurt cups behind the counter and ask each customer if they need one when we give them their order.)

Me: “Would you like a lid for that?”

Female Customer: “No, thank you.”

Me: “Alright, have a nice day.”

(She continues to just stand there after I walk away.)

Female Customer: “Fine! I guess I don’t get a lid then!”

Customer’s Boyfriend: “You just told her you didn’t want one.”

Female Customer: “Oh yeah…”

Me: *facepalm*

 

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