Where There’s Smoke, There’s A Liar

| Sacramento , CA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Underaged

(Keep in mind I work in a yogurt shop and we only sell yogurt and candy. An obviously underage customer comes up to be rung up.)

Me: “Is that going to be it for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, can I get a pack of cigarettes too?”

Me: “This is a yogurt shop, sir.”

Customer: “I have my ID though!”

Me: “This is a yogurt shop. Not only do we not sell cigarettes, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to accept a fake ID.”

Customer: *storms out muttering obscenities*

Seedless, We Promise

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(My friend and I are cleaning up at the end of the night at a frozen yogurt shop downtown. Suddenly, a guy walks in.)

Guy: “You need to buy me a piece of pizza cause I ain’t eaten all day!”

Me: “The pizza shop in the mall is closed. I can give you a sample of yogurt.”

(I pour him a sample of acai blueberry yogurt.)

Guy: “What the h*** is that?”

Me: “Yogurt.”

Guy: “Nuh uh, that’s sperm.”

Me: “This is yogurt.”

Guy: “Stop trying to give me sperm! I do scientific research and that is HORSE SPERM!” *runs away*

Bad Parenting Is A Sticky Fingered Subject

| San Luis Obispo, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a self-serve frozen yogurt shop, where people get their own yogurt and toppings then pay by weight.)

Customer: “Excuse me, you should be supervising this store. These kids are putting their fingers in the toppings. It’s not clean!”

(I look around for a parent, but there seems to be nobody else of suitable age in the shop.)

Me: “Are these your children?”

Customer: “Yes, but you should be supervising them! It’s your job!”