His Argument Is Getting Week-er

, , , , | Right | October 22, 2018

(The YMCA where I volunteer switched from swiping cards to scanning them in March. As the machine we used to swipe the cards is attached to the front desk, we cover it in duct tape so that members will refrain from using it. It is now August.)

Me: “Good morning!”

(The member ignores me and gets out his wallet to find his card. After taking a few minutes to find his card, he attempts to swipe it over the duct tape.)

Me: “You can actually just scan your card over here, sir.”

(I gesture to the scanner, but the member continues to ignore me.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, but we no longer swipe the cards; we have switched to the scanner.”

(I gesture to the scanner once more and the member finally takes notice of me.)

Member: “Why can’t I swipe my card?”

Me: “We have switched over to this scanner.”

Member: “When did that happen?”

Me: “We actually switched over a couple of months ago.”

Member: “I swiped my card last week!”

(I know this is not possible, as the swipe machine no longer works and has not for months.)

Me: “Okay… Here, let me do this for you.”

(I take the card from the member, scan it, and let him into the facility.)

Coworker: “He does this every week!”

This Class Is A Car-Wreck

| MI, USA | Learning | February 2, 2016

(I am taking driver’s ed in the late 1970s at the YMCA. It is an odd class in that it is made up of students from good private schools too small to have a program of their own, rural students (again, too small for a program), students who flunked at big schools, and the occasional person who just didn’t fit in anywhere. Median age is about two years higher than normal. Questions to the class get some bizarre answers:)

Teacher: “How many of you have crashed a car and how old were you?”

Farm Kid: *raises hand* “Me, when I was 10.”

Teacher: “On a farm, I assume. I had a farm kid who wrecked his first car at age four. Okay, let’s go around the class and tell what jobs you’ve got.”

Assorted Students: “Fast food place, car wash, babysitting, etc.”

(Weirdly enough, I was a magician’s assistant at the time.)

Girl: *about 17-18, made up to look 25, wears 8″ platform shoes, loud mini-skirt, tight top with some feather effect* “Um… unemployed?”