I Just Gotta Be Me

| Friendly | March 7, 2014

(While browsing tables at a yard sale with my mom, a lady taps my shoulder. I turn around.)

Lady: “Oh! It’s not you.”

Me: “Yes, it is!”

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The Whole Nine Yards Of Unreason

| Right | January 26, 2014

(Whilst having an indoor yard sale, I happen to have an open and hours sign from our old store, so I put them up. A customer in a rather nice car pulls up.)

Customer: “What kind of store is this?”

Me: ‘It’s a yard sale. I just happen to have the signs and thought they would be funny.”

Customer: “Oh… okay.”

(The customer proceeds to browse for a few minutes.)

Customer: “Is this used?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “How about this? Is this used?”

Me: “Yes…”

Customer: “WHAT NERVE DO YOU HAVE SELLING USED ITEMS? THIS IS THE WORST STORE I’VE BEEN TO!”

Me: “This is a yard sale. That’s generally how it works. People sell their used goods.”

Customer: “I’ve never heard of nonsense like that. Nobody wants someone’s used things. I’m reporting you to the Better Business Bureau!”

Me: “Go right ahead. Have a nice day.”

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Slicing Through The Sexism

| Working | July 5, 2012

(I’m at a swap meet looking for a number of items, including a knife for camping and self-defense purposes. I am picking up knifes, unsheathing them and examining the blades very carefully. A vendor selling knives is surprised at my interest.)

Vendor: *to another customer* “Well, would ya look at that! There’s a girl looking at knives! I haven’t seen a woman looking at knives that seriously. I was gonna say all day, but really, ever!” *to me* “Can I ask who you’re looking for?”

Me: “Oh, for me. I do a lot of camping. Plus, you never know when you’re going to need one.”

Vendor: “Well, I never! Do you know how to use one of those, hun?”

Me: “It’s a knife. It’s not rocket science.”

Vendor: *smug smile* “Would you like me to show you?”

Me: “How to use a knife? I think I’ve got it down, thanks.”

Vendor: “Whatever you say…”

(I walk away at this point to look elsewhere, but his booth has the most satisfactory knives I’ve seen there. I end up going back and purchasing one, and immediately use it to cut open the packaging on some of my other purchases so he knows I know how to use it.)

Me: “Like I said, not rocket science!”

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Give Them A Dress And They’ll Want A Yard

, , , , | Right | July 18, 2010

(I sell a dress to a lady and she leaves. As I am coming back from hanging a sign, she returns to the yard sale.)

Customer: “I want to return this dress.”

Me: “This is a yard sale. I don’t take returns.”

Customer: “You don’t have a sign up. You should have a sign that says no returns.”

Me: “I don’t need one. This is a yard sale.”

Customer: *getting angry* “I want to return the dress. I don’t want it anymore!”

Me:  “This is a yard sale. I am not a store, so I do not take returns.”

Customer: “That’s dishonest; I’m calling 911!”

(The customer dials 911 on her cell phone and I hear her talking to the dispatcher.)

Customer: “Hello! I’m at a yard sale and they won’t take back my dress!”


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