Mario-No-No

, , , | Right | March 20, 2019

(I’m helping out a friend who is managing a booth at one of the biggest video game swap meets in Canada. It’s pretty busy, and people are offering quite a few high-value trades. We have a bin of common, relatively cheap NES games at the front; the most expensive is Super Mario Bros 3 at $30. A kid, about 12, zones in and grabs it as soon as the swap meet opens.)

Kid: “How much for the Mario?” *ignoring the sticker price on it*

Me: “It’s $30, sir.”

Kid: “Can you do $15?”

Me: “Sorry, no can do.”

(The kid puts it back without saying a word, but he roams around and browses our tables a few more times. Eventually, he comes back with a tacky Chewbacca bobblehead that’s probably worth a few bucks.)

Kid: “Hey, can you do a trade for this?” *waves the Chewbacca bobblehead in my face*

Me: “All trades have to go through my boss. I’ll let you talk to him.”

Boss: *comes up after a minute* “Hey, what do you have there?”

Kid: “Will you trade this Chewbacca bobblehead for Mario 3?”

Boss: “Sorry, I’m not really interested in taking toys.”

Kid: *pause* “So, will you trade this for Mario 3?”

Boss: “Sorry, but no.”

Kid: “How about if I trade a game with it?”

Boss: “Depends on what you bring me.”

Kid: “What if I trade two games with it?”

Boss: “It still depends on what you bring me.”

Kid: “So… will you do $15 for this and some games?”

Boss: “I’d still need to see which games.”

(My boss then walked away, and the kid just gave a frustrated look and wandered off. He came by at least one more time, still holding that Chewbacca bobblehead. I know he’s a kid, but he was still old enough to know no means no.)

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Haggling That Makes No Cents

, , , , | Right | March 13, 2019

(My cousins, my family, and some family friends are having a garage sale. My cousins, age eleven and thirteen, are selling some books for $1 each.)

Customer: *points to brand-new book that they’re selling* “How much is this book?”

Cousin #1: “That would be $1, please.”

Customer: *hands her 25¢*

([Cousin #1] glances at [Cousin #2].)

Cousin #2: “Uh… that’s going to be another 75¢.”

Customer: *grumbles about it being a ripoff and hands her 75¢*

(Long story short, don’t try to scam kids by being cheap and bargain with a book that costs a DOLLAR.)


This story is part of our Hagglers roundup.

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Not Forcing God On People Makes Everyone Happy

, , , | Right | March 7, 2019

(I’ve been working in retail for many years, including owning my own store, and have made a habit of being friendly and cheerful no matter how I may be feeling at the time. I decide to hold a yard sale one Saturday. A sweet elderly lady and her daughter are checking out the offerings. The senior lady comes up to me and pays for a cream and sugar set. She smiles at me, then says:)

Lady: “You’re such a happy person! Are you a Christian?”

Me: “I’m sorry, no.”

(The lady stands there staring at me for a bit, and I’m nervous that she’s going to fling the china back at me. Then she gives me a big smile and says:)

Lady: “Well, God blesses you, anyway!”

(And she wandered off.)

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So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish

, , , , | Right | November 10, 2018

(I am having a rather large yard sale and am running around setting stuff up and trying to answer questions. An older woman flags me down, who is looking at a small “as-seen-on-TV,” easy-clean fish tank.)

Woman: “Hey, excuse me!”

Me: “Yes, how can I help you?”

Woman: “Does this tank include the fish?”

(I look down at the completely waterless fish tank sitting on the table with the few parts for it inside.)

Me: “Uh… no, but all the parts are there.”

Woman: “Okay, thanks… I was going to get it for my grandson, but it’s useless without the fish.”

(I had no problem selling it, even though the fish were not included.)

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He Wrote A Book And Went To The Moon And Knows My Son And…

, , , , | Friendly | September 26, 2018

(I’m helping an older lady out with her garage sale. She knows my parents and has just asked why I have such a great interest in Ireland.)

Me: “Oh, it’s got a lot to do with the history. Michael Collins—”

Older Lady: “Michael Collins?!”

Me: “Yes, he was—”

Older Lady: “My son wrote a book with Michael Collins! I’ll have to show it to you! Oh, you’re right; he’s just the nicest man.”

Me: “Um, no, I meant—”

Older Lady: “He visited the college here once. I saw his picture in the newspaper. It said, ‘Michael Collins visiting with other students from Ireland,’ so I thought I’d surprise my son! I called up the college to see if they had his number, but they wouldn’t give it to me. They said he was a student. But he wrote a book with my son!”

Me: “Um… ah… You know, there’s more than one, uh, Michael Collins.”

Older Lady: “REALLY?”

(After she walked away, I leaned over and said to my mother, “Let’s not mention a Michael Collins was one of the guys on the moon, too.” Mom says that to this day, she can’t get this lady to understand that more than one person has this incredibly common name.)

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