Big(otry) Prices

, , , , , | Working | June 24, 2019

(I am at a car-boot sale and am waiting behind an obviously Muslim lady who is going through a box of jewelry at one stall. She picks up a piece of costume jewelry.)

Lady: “Excuse me. How much is this, please?”

Stall Holder: *rudely* “$10.”

Lady: “Oh, it’s a bit much; can you make it a bit cheaper?”

Stall Holder: “Nope, $10.”

(The lady leaves and I pick up a couple of items that have caught my eye.)

Stall Holder: *sweetly, but loud enough for the other lady to still hear* ” “For you, fifty-cents each.”

(I handed over the $1. It was only later I realised what had happened. The stall holder had tried to rip off the other lady on a piece of junk jewelry, but had actually ripped herself off because later, I found out that the items she sold me were worth almost $200.)

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A Box Troll

, , , , , | Right | May 6, 2019

(I help my parents put on a yard sale. Most of the morning goes without problem and we are pretty busy. Around noon, a dumpy old car pulls up. The lady that steps out is one of those “the world revolves around me” types — very fake tan, way too much makeup, latte in hand, and very over-the-top, loud clothes. I’m sitting in front of my house in the shade and she stomps right up to me, shoving other shoppers out of the way. She grabs a box near me, dumps out its contents, and shoves it into my arms.)

Customer: “Follow me around and keep track of what I take.”

(I’m a really quiet person, so I just stand and start following her. The box is very large, maybe two feet long, wide, and tall. She starts tossing junk into the box and I’m frantically trying to keep track of what she’s getting. This goes on for ten minutes. After she fills two large boxes, she whirls around to me.)

Customer: “I’ll give you $5 for all this junk.”

Me: *surprised* “Ma’am, I kept track as you asked me to, and the total is closer to $30. And I’m rounding down.”

(She tries to haggle with me for a while, but eventually, she stomps off to her car to loudly demand money from her driver. She stomps back to me and shoves the money in my face. As she’s doing so, she looks at my necklace.)

Customer: “Darling, I love your necklace.”

(She then reaches for it and tries to take it off my neck. Naturally, I back away, confused.)

Customer: “Darling, I said I love your necklace. That means I want it.”

(She tried again to snatch it. When I backed away again, she started trying to bribe me, but it was my favorite necklace so that wasn’t going to happen. After a while, she gave up and I helped her put her boxes in her car. As soon as she got in and the car started to drive away, she rolled down her window and made eye contact with me. I thought she was going to say thank you or goodbye, but no. She tossed her half-full latte out the window into my driveway. It splattered everywhere and they drove away. As if that wasn’t bad enough, when I went to count the money she had shoved at me, it was only $20 and not the $30 I had asked for.)

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Haggling That Makes No Cents

, , , , | Right | March 13, 2019

(My cousins, my family, and some family friends are having a garage sale. My cousins, age eleven and thirteen, are selling some books for $1 each.)

Customer: *points to brand-new book that they’re selling* “How much is this book?”

Cousin #1: “That would be $1, please.”

Customer: *hands her 25¢*

([Cousin #1] glances at [Cousin #2].)

Cousin #2: “Uh… that’s going to be another 75¢.”

Customer: *grumbles about it being a ripoff and hands her 75¢*

(Long story short, don’t try to scam kids by being cheap and bargain with a book that costs a DOLLAR.)

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Not Forcing God On People Makes Everyone Happy

, , , | Right | March 7, 2019

(I’ve been working in retail for many years, including owning my own store, and have made a habit of being friendly and cheerful no matter how I may be feeling at the time. I decide to hold a yard sale one Saturday. A sweet elderly lady and her daughter are checking out the offerings. The senior lady comes up to me and pays for a cream and sugar set. She smiles at me, then says:)

Lady: “You’re such a happy person! Are you a Christian?”

Me: “I’m sorry, no.”

(The lady stands there staring at me for a bit, and I’m nervous that she’s going to fling the china back at me. Then she gives me a big smile and says:)

Lady: “Well, God blesses you, anyway!”

(And she wandered off.)

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So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish

, , , , | Right | November 10, 2018

(I am having a rather large yard sale and am running around setting stuff up and trying to answer questions. An older woman flags me down, who is looking at a small “as-seen-on-TV,” easy-clean fish tank.)

Woman: “Hey, excuse me!”

Me: “Yes, how can I help you?”

Woman: “Does this tank include the fish?”

(I look down at the completely waterless fish tank sitting on the table with the few parts for it inside.)

Me: “Uh… no, but all the parts are there.”

Woman: “Okay, thanks… I was going to get it for my grandson, but it’s useless without the fish.”

(I had no problem selling it, even though the fish were not included.)

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