Your Benjamins Have No Power Here

, , , , , | Right | July 14, 2021

My friend and I recently got into beading and painting, and we’ve made a bunch of little bead animals and small paintings for fun. Our town has several sidewalk sales during the summer where you pay a small fee and get assigned a table, and you can sell whatever you bring.

We decide to sign up and do it for fun. The sale will run for three days, and we are both free, so one can man the table and one can wander around, and if we sell out early, then we just pack up.

We bring a few dollars in change but figure we won’t need much, as our prices are fairly low and rounded to the dollar.

We’ve just “opened” and have only sold to one customer before this guy shows up. He’s dressed up in a full suit, way overdressed for a town sidewalk sale. He scoops up a little beaded keychain, which we are selling for fifty cents, holds it up, and then drops a hundred-dollar bill on the table.

Before I even have a chance to say anything, he points his finger at me.

Customer: “Don’t you dare tell me you don’t have change.”

I laugh, thinking this is a joke, but his face doesn’t budge.

Customer: “Give me my change!”

I glance down at the hundred again, then reach up and yank the keychain out of his hand.

Me: “No sale.”

He seems a little stumped that I’ve just done that, and then he reaches for the basket of keychains again. I’m quicker, and I scoop the basket behind the table.

Me: “I told you, no sale. You want to be rude, you can f*** off.”

He did, scooping up his bill and stomping out. I don’t know if it was some power trip, or if he really wanted change without waiting in line at the bank down the street, but my friend got a good laugh about it when I told him about it later.

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Save Tolstoy For When They’re Eight

, , , | Right | July 2, 2021

I’m having a yard sale to get rid of all of my old junk. An elderly lady checks out my things and picks up a book.

Lady: “How much for this?”

Me: “$5.”

Lady: “That’s way too much for a book! Can’t you do with 75¢?”

Me: *Surprised* “No, ma’am. That book is brand new, and I can’t give it for 75¢. $5 is the lowest.”

Lady: *Upset* “But it’s for my grandson’s birthday! He’s turning seven and I’m in tight with money right now. Can’t you just give it to me for lower?”

I know she’s lying, because there is no way a seven-year-old could read a book that thick and complicated.

Me: “Ma’am, I keep telling you, it’s $5, no lower. I’m sorry I can’t do lower even though it’s for your grandson.”

She attempted to throw some stuff off my tables and yelled rude things at me. She stomped off, nothing in hand, sassy-like, got in her car, and drove away angrily.

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If You Wouldn’t Do It In A Department Store, Don’t Try It In A Yard Sale

, , , | Right | June 30, 2021

I’m having a yard sale to get rid of all of my old junk. A customer arrives at 7:20 am, even though it clearly states in my poster that the sale begins at eight.

Lady: “You’re open, right?”

Me: *Still putting up all the things* “No, the sale starts at eight.”

Lady: “There’s like five minutes until eight. Can’t I have a look a bit early?”

Me: “You can’t look around, but you could wait until eight.”

Lady: *Annoyed* “I don’t have time! I need to look right now! Open!

Me: “The sale doesn’t start until eight, so just wait for thirty minutes. You can’t look early.”

Lady: “Then I’m not buying anything! I ain’t giving my money to all of your junk!” 

The lady walked off, muttering stuff like, “Rude,” and, “No respect for the elderly!”

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Your Scam Holds No Quarter With Me

, , , , | Right | June 3, 2021

I was having a garage sale. This was stuff that probably even a thrift store would not want, just junk I had around for too many years. I had stuff on tables and in boxes with essentially giveaway prices: a twenty-five-cent table, boxes of ten-cent stuff, even boxes of free stuff, and very few things like hardback books for fifty cents or a dollar. Most people just scanned the junk and left. One woman came and spent quite a long time looking at various items. I saw her pick up a bud vase from the twenty-five-cent table and turn her back to me. I figured she was just going to pocket the item. I really didn’t care.

She came up to me and held out the bud vase.

Customer: “I guess this will be all. It’s a good bargain for only a nickel.”

Me: “Hmm, I don’t have anything for a nickel. I had that on the twenty-five-cent table.”

Customer: *Immediately in a rage*What? This has a sticker on it that says five cents!”

She shows me the bottom of the vase with an orange printed five-cent sticker which I’ve never used.

Me: *Just because* “Oh, I watched you put that sticker on it to try to cheat me, so I’ve decided to just keep the vase and not sell it to you.”

Customer: *Screaming*I did no such thing! You’re just trying to make me pay more because I’m [nationality]!”

This may or may not be the case; I can’t tell if she is or not. She grabs the bud vase and literally runs to her car and speeds off, not even giving me the nickel or the quarter, just stealing it.

Me: *Thinking* “Really, for a quarter?”

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Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 15

, , , , , , | Right | October 23, 2020

We are about to move house, so we are selling anything we don’t want to take with us. There are a lot of children’s things that our kids have outgrown and are pretty bulky, so we want to get rid of them quickly.

Everything is clean, in good condition, and really cheap, so some items go within the hour. Others have lots of interest but just need transport arranged, etc.

One woman messages me on a few items.

Customer: “Are they available?”

Me: “Yes, they are!”

I don’t hear from her again. I get rid of pretty much everything that day, and after a few days, the items nobody wants go to the charity shop.

A whole week later, the customer from before contacts me again.

Customer: “I will collect them tomorrow and will only pay what you’re asking if they are in excellent condition.”

Me: “Well, there has been a lot of interest and nearly everything has gone. But as it happens, someone let me down on the last item and I am available tomorrow.”

Again, I hear nothing back until later that night, and it’s a one-word reply.

Customer: “Okay.”

I’m not too thrilled with her demanding attitude. At this point, she doesn’t know where I live nor have I actually agreed to sell to her, so I don’t feel like chasing her. Around lunchtime the next day, I get a message.

Customer: “I’m free now; I can collect [item].”

Me: “That’s fine. My address is [address]. How long do you think you will be? I am working from home, so I’m pretty busy.”

I get nothing back. An hour later, I see a car pull up; a woman in her early forties with nice clothes, designer handbag, etc., gets out. She strides up to the door and bangs very hard, ignoring the doorbell.

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “I’m here for the baby bouncer.”

Me: “Yes, I—”

Customer: *Cutting me off* “Is it clean? It should be clean if you are selling it.”

As I’m bringing it to the door:

Me: “Yes, it’s clean and disinfected. The lights, sounds, and movement all work fine. No damage or marks. It’s pretty much brand new and I have the box and receipts.”

She looks almost disappointed.

Customer: “Well, I, err… I can only pay you £20.”

Me: “It was £160 new; the advert was £30, no offers.”

Customer: *Smirking* “I will leave it, then.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Bye, thanks for coming!”

With that, I closed the door on her. She stood at the door motionless for a while before getting back in her car, looking shocked that her ploy didn’t work. 

I ended up taking the bouncer with us after we moved — couldn’t donate it with a fire tag — and sold it to a very grateful new mum near the new house.

About that time, we ended up selling a load of furniture after we moved. That customer commented on most of them, as well, even telling other commenters that they were sold when they weren’t.

I blocked her, but not before letting her know that I don’t sell to time wasters.

Related:
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 14
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 13
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 12
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 11
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 10

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