Bored Teen: “Yeah. I’m looking for this book, When I Drop Dead?”
Me: “I can’t seem to find it in the system. Do you know who the author is?”
Bored Teen: “I dunno. Flooker or Flocker or something.”
(A light goes on in my head.)
Me: “Do you mean AS I LAY DYING, by WILLIAM FAULKNER?”
Bored Teen: *explosive sigh* “Yeah. Whatever. That.”
Student: “So, like, um, you wrote on my paper that I wrote like, I, like spoke… but you only gave me two out of ten points.
Me: “You used ‘like’ 56 times and ‘that’ 87.”
Student: “Um, why is that a problem?”
Me: “It was a two-page writing assignment.”
Student: “So… um… since I talked with you, um… can I have some more points?”
Me: “Yes, how can I help you today?”
Customer: “Well I need one of those things that go in back of my phone. What’s it called?”
Me: “I’m not sure what it is, ma’am.”
Customer: “Oh yeah, I remember what it is. A stem cell…”
Me: “A what?!”
Customer: “You know, a stem cell so I can make calls… the little card thing…”
(She was thinking of a SIM card; I died laughing when she left!)
Customer: “Do you have burrito wrappers?”
Me: “Do you mean tortillas?”
Customer: “Well, I guess you could call them that.”
(This is where I entered the conversation.)
Lady Customer: “Yes, I have at home a ‘widows’ computer. Will the software work on a ‘widows’ computer?”
