Customer: “I am calling to let you know that you are running an illegal operation.”
Me: “Pardon me?”
Customer: “That’s right! My computer says so right on the screen!”
Me: “Ma’am, that’s a Microsoft error message that says, ‘Your program has performed an illegal operation.'”
Customer: “There is nothing wrong with my computer! I have a 15-inch neck!” *hangs up*
(I assume the customer was referring to her monitor… a 15-inch NEC.)
Customer: “I bought these games yesterday, and I don’t want them. I want my money back.”
Me: “Sorry, but I can’t give you cashback. I can exchange them for credit so you can choose something else.”
Customer: “I was not told that when I bought them.”
Me: “Yeah, sorry… but we do have signs up.” *I point to two of these signs*
Customer: “Well, I’m illiterate, so I couldn’t know! Now give me my f****** money!”
Me: “As I said, I am sorry, but I can only do it as credit.”
Customer: “But, there was no way I could know that when I bought them! I’m illiterate!”
Me: “Well, there was no way we could know that when you bought them. Perhaps you could get a sign?”
This story is part of the Customers-Ignoring-Signs roundup!
Read the next Customers-Ignoring-Signs roundup story!
Read the Customers-Ignoring-Signs roundup!
Me: “Hi, ma’am, can I help you find something?”
Customer: “Yes, I need a synonym finder.”
Me: “I’m sorry?”
Customer: “A synonym finder… You know?”
Me: “Oh, you mean a thesaurus?”
Customer: “Yeah!”
Me: “This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, I want a discount on my services.”
Me: “I’d be glad to see if you qualify for a promotion on a new service–”
Customer: “No, I mean on my current services.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t have any promotions like that; they’re only for new services.”
Customer: “Well, this is bull-s***! I shouldn’t have to pay for Spanish channels that I don’t watch and can’t understand. Let the Mexicans pay extra for those, not me!”
Me: “Ma’am, we cater to our demographic, and California as a whole has a very large Hispanic population including MYSELF and my family.”
Customer: “That’s terrible! I’m on a budget and don’t think I should be charged for these.”
Me: “Again, I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s just how are services are offered.”
Customer: “Well I’ll tell you this… you better watch out, because before you know it, a MEXICAN is gonna take your job!”
Me: “…all right, then, ma’am. Gracias por llamar a [Empresa] que tenga un buen dia.” *click*
Customer: “This phone doesn’t hang on the wall right. The handle keeps falling off.”
(Knowing exactly what’s wrong, I fix the phone on the spot. It’s a simple fix.)
Customer: “How did you do that?”
Me: “I turned this little tab around so the handle catches on it.”
Customer: “How did you know that?”
Me: “Didn’t the instructions tell you how?”
Customer: *snorts* “I don’t have time to read the instructions!”
