(My dad works at a company that designs and produces light fixtures. His division is him, two other people, and the boss, a loud Irish man well-known for his bad language.)
Boss: *storms in and shouts* “One of you, e-mail [Client] and tell him to F*** OFF FOR A BIT!”
(During a call with an irate customer.)
Customer: “Don’t you know you can’t use the word ‘can’t’ in customer service?”
Me: “Okay, then, it’s not possible.”
Customer: *expletives*
(Scotland has had a lot of political upheaval in the last year and now has a new First Minister, which is the leader of the country. I’m talking about it with my mum.)
Mum: “So before the First Minister was Alex Salmond, but now it’s Nicola Sturgeon.”
Me: “Yeah, I think she’s—”
Mum: “There’s something fishy about that.”
Me: “…” *long, drawn-out groan*
This story is part of our Scotland themed roundup!
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Me: “What’s up, [Student]?”
Student: *looking sad* “Oh, teacher, I’m so depressed. I broke my girlfriend.”
Me: “You what?”
Student: “I found out she cheated on me so I had to break her.”
Me: “Oh, you broke up with her. That’s too bad.”
Student: “Yes, yes! I feel so bad; I think I might throw out.”
(My roommate and I travel regularly and we are planning to be in Spain for my birthday this November. She wants to be conversational in Spanish and since I’m bilingual, I’m helping her. Meanwhile, I’m studying to certify as a court interpreter.)
Roommate: “Hey, after dinner, do you want help with your legal terms flashcards?”
Me: “That would be great! Thanks!”
Roommate: “That could teach me some more Spanish!”
(Later, we’re both writing out several hundred Spanish legal terms and she’s reading out the ones she is interested in. I do the same.)
Roommate: “Statutory rape…”
Me: “Litigation…”
Roommate: “Subpoena…”
Me: “If those are the words you need to know, you’re not coming with me to Spain!”
This story is part of our Spain-themed roundup!
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