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It’s Just Like Disneyland, But With Funny Accents

, , , | Right | September 8, 2008

(I work at a fairly new nice French restaurant. Chef comes to the dining area to interact with the customers; he has an obvious French accent.)

Chef: “Hi, ladies, how was everything?”

Customer: “The food was delicious. Where did you learn to cook?”

Chef: “Well, I was born in France and went to school there.”

Customer: “Really? Do you speak French? I mean, I know everyone in Europe speaks English, but do you know French?”

Chef: *walks away disgusted*

Sometimes, You Just Can’t Win

, , | Right | September 4, 2008

Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like some baked chicken.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we only have fried chicken.”

Customer: “How about roasted chicken?”

Me: “No, we only have fried chicken.”

Customer: “How about broasted… boasted chicken?”

(Yes, she actually said boasted chicken.)

Me: “No, ma’am, all we have is plain old fried chicken.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.” *leaves*

Boss: “Hey, don’t call the chicken old.”

Me: *facepalm*


This story is part of the Chicken roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Cheesy Stories About The World’s Most Perfect Snack: Nachos

 

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Just Another Day In Bedrock

, , , , | Right | September 4, 2008

(Keep in mind, this customer comes in about ten times a day. He’s insane and you never know what you will get from this guy.)

Customer: “Yabba dabba.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Yabba dabba.”

Me: “Okay. That will be thirteen fifty.”

Customer: *hands me money* “Yabba dabba.”

Me: “You don’t say?”

Customer: *angrily* “Yabba dabba!”

Me: “Doo. Have a good day.”

Customer: *happy now* “YABBA DABBA!!!!” *leaves*

(He came back about two hours later, talking regularly like nothing happened.)

Vague & Vaguerer

, , , | Right | September 3, 2008

Me: “Good morning, [Homes Office].”

Customer: *with really thick accent* “How much is house?”

Me: “Which home is that? Would you like to speak with a Realtor?”

Customer: “No, how much is house? House?”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I cannot tell you that without an address–and in any case, you need to speak with a Realtor.”

Customer: “House! How much is house?!”

Me: “More than a couch, less than a rocket ship. Have a nice day!”

Not Quite The Car’s Meow

, , , , | Right | September 2, 2008

(I work for an online traffic school and for some of the counties, we need them to put answers to security questions.

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hey, it says that I missed a security question and that I need to call this number to continue.”

Me: “Okay, what question did you miss?”

Caller: “I missed what is my favorite animal.”

(I get his personal information and look up his answer.)

Me: “Sir, the answer we have here says ‘p*ssy.’ You are aware that this is also the same answer you have for… your favorite food?”

Caller: *click*