More Slippage

, , | Right | January 3, 2008

(I am working another very long day right after “March of the Penguins” has come out, stuck in the box office, when a sweet-looking little old lady and her sweet little old lady friend walked up to the window.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Old Lady: “Hello, sweetie. I’d like one senior for March of the Penises.”

Friend: “Oh, my God…”

(Shocked, the second old lady puts her hand up to her mouth and whispers to her friend.)

Me: “I think you might have the wrong theater…”


This story is part of our Shocking Old People roundup!

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At Least She Has The General Idea

, , , | Right | January 1, 2008

Bored Teen: “Yeah. I’m looking for this book, When I Drop Dead?”

Me: “I can’t seem to find it in the system. Do you know who the author is?”

Bored Teen: “I dunno. Flooker or Flocker or something.”

(A light goes on in my head.)

Me: “Do you mean AS I LAY DYING, by WILLIAM FAULKNER?”

Bored Teen: *explosive sigh* “Yeah. Whatever. That.”

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That’s, Like, Mean

, , | Learning | December 30, 2007

Student: “So, like, um, you wrote on my paper that I wrote like, I, like spoke… but you only gave me two out of ten points.

Me: “You used ‘like’ 56 times and ‘that’ 87.”

Student: “Um, why is that a problem?”

Me: “It was a two-page writing assignment.”

Student: “So… um… since I talked with you, um… can I have some more points?”

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Just Wait Until Congress Hears About This

, , | Right | December 27, 2007

Me: “Yes, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Well I need one of those things that go in back of my phone. What’s it called?”

Me: “I’m not sure what it is, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh yeah, I remember what it is. A stem cell…”

Me: “A what?!”

Customer: “You know, a stem cell so I can make calls… the little card thing…”

(She was thinking of a SIM card; I died laughing when she left!)

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Those Silly Ethnics And Their Funny Words

, , | Right | December 19, 2007

Customer: “Do you have burrito wrappers?”

Me: “Do you mean tortillas?”

Customer: “Well, I guess you could call them that.”

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