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How About Our Boogers, Lint And Toejam Sandwich

, , | Right | June 21, 2008

Customer: “I want to know why you made his sandwich before you finished making mine.”

Worker: “…because yours wasn’t finished heating up yet.”

Customer: “I didn’t want a hot sandwich.”

Worker: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Company rules say we’re required to heat the bacon for a BLT.”

Customer: “I didn’t ASK for bacon!”

Worker: “You ordered a BLT…”

Customer: “I know. I didn’t want bacon!”

Worker: “BLTs have bacon on them, ma’am.”

Customer: “No they don’t!”

Worker: “Perhaps you wanted the BMT instead?”

Customer: “NO! I ASKED FOR A BLT AND THAT’S WHAT I WANT.”

Worker:That has bacon on it.”

Customer: “A BLT DOES NOT COME WITH BACON!”

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It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 3

, , , | Right | June 20, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling [Tech Support]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want to get on the Internet.”

Me: “All right, are you interested in dial-up or DSL?”

Customer: “Whoa, whoa, whoa! You’re speaking Greek to me!”

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Think Unpoopy Thoughts

, , , , | Right | June 20, 2008

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “We’re looking at the toilets. What does the ‘flush rating’ on the box mean?”

Me: “That indicates the amount of flush power.”

Customer: “But what is it measuring?”

Me: “It’s just a general rating to give you an idea of the power of the flush on this model.”

Customer: “And the picture of the basket of golf balls on the box?”

Me: “This is just an illustration claiming this toilet can flush a full bucket of golf balls without clogging.”

Customer: “I worked in an old building once, and whenever I would use the toilet there it would clog up.”

(I smile blandly and pray she doesn’t continue.)

Customer: “Maybe the golf ball toilet would be good then. I mean, if it can handle a whole basket of balls… right?

(My smile wanes, and I hope she doesn’t start describing shape, color, consistency.)

Customer: “Well, food for thought I guess. Oh, dear, I shouldn’t say ‘food’ when it comes to toilets!”


This story is part of the Customers-Sharing-TMI roundup!

Read the next Customers-Sharing-TMI roundup story!

Read the Customers-Sharing-TMI roundup!

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No, Thank YOU!

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2008

Customer: “You have shoe with knife on bottom?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Shoe with knife on bottom!”

Me: “Do you mean ice skates?”

Customer: “Yes, skate!”

Me: “Yes, we do sell ice skates.”

Customer: “NO! You have skate?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

Customer: “So you have shoe with knife on bottom?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

Customer: “Thank you!”

Me: “You’re welcome–”

Customer: “Thank you!”

Me: “You’re wel–”

Customer: “Thank you!”

*click*

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Yes, It’s For My Longmower

, , , , , | Right | June 14, 2008

Me: “Lawn and Garden, this is [My Name].”

(The customer, a very nice lady, explains that she needs a part number for a belt on her riding lawn mower, but she can’t find the manual and doesn’t know the model number of the mower. I have her describe the mower for me so I can narrow it down.)

Customer: “Well, it’s last year’s Cub Cadet model with the 48-inch dick.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I mean DECK!”

(It took me a good minute or two to stop laughing.)

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