Too Much Money, Too Little Restraint

, , , , | Right | May 1, 2018

(A customer pulls out a wad of $100s, $50s, and $20s to pay. Note: During this entire transaction he speaks with a monotone and has no facial expressions. I’m very animated and like to joke around with people.)

Customer: “I have too much money.”

Me: “Isn’t that a good thing?”

Customer: “Sometimes I think I need help spending it.”

Me: “Ha! I’ll take it. I need a new pair of work shoes!”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Actually, yeah. Look at these things. Ratty and the soles are broken.”

Customer: “Do you live in town?”

Me: “Yeah.”

(I begin to realize that he might not know I was joking about taking his money.)

Customer: “I’ll have to find you one of these days and take you out shopping.”

Me: “Who could say no to that?”

(After he leaves I mutter:)

Me: “I need to shut up. My chit-chat is going to land me dead in a ditch someday.”

Unfiltered Story #109643

, , , , | Unfiltered | April 29, 2018

(I wam training a new Crew Member and am at his side making sure he is doing his job well. This group of adults come in; they are younger and two of them I figure out are a couple. The male partner starts to do his order:)

Male Customer: *finishing up his order* “…and, I guess I order a family size Chili-Cheddar fry.”

(His party groans in disbelief that he ordered it. I react to this situation by laughing and apparently blushing.)

Male Customer: “You’re blushing Little Lady. At least you don’t have to sleep with me tonight.”

No Salvation For Them

, , , | Right | April 20, 2018

(I usually work as a cashier, but sometimes when it’s slow they send me out to get carts. Today is the first day we have the Salvation Army bell ringing out in front. I’m just working on carts, and this customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “Somebody should go choke that kid ringing the bell. We don’t need to hear that s*** every time we come to the g**d*** grocery store!”

Me: “Sir, this is the first day we have had the bell out.”

Customer: *speechless*

Easy To Counter This Counter Case

, , , , , , | Right | April 18, 2018

(I come into work to find this email from a customer:)

Email: “I left my iPad in a blue case at your store. I WANT IT BACK. I brought it in to see if you could help with it and forgot it on the counter. Why wouldn’t you have called to tell me I left it there? Or texted me. Now I have to wait in agony until 7:30 so I can call you. Call me earlier if you can. It better still be there!”

Unfiltered Story #108937

, | Unfiltered | April 14, 2018

The phone rings
Me: Thanks for calling [Store] How may I help you?
Caller: Hi, this is [caller’s name]. I was wondering if you could tell me if there’s a game on tonight.
Me: I think so. I couldn’t say for sure.
Caller: Well, can you check? I can’t find it.
Me: You know what, I’m pretty sure there is.
Caller: Well, what channel is it on? I can’t find it on the TV guide!
Me: I really don’t know.
Caller: Well, what channel do you have it on?
Me: I don’t have it on any channel.
Caller: On your TV! What channel are you watching the game on?
Me: I’m not watching the game. We don’t have a TV here, this is a liquor store.
Caller: Oh. Well, do you know what channel ESPN is?
Me: I really don’t.
Caller: Thanks [hangs up]

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