(A mother has her sick three-year-old with her. She needs help finding medicine.)
Me: “What symptoms are you trying to treat?”
Mother: “Well, her nose… and, um, her eyes, uh… Hang on.”
(The customer digs in her purse and pulls out a photo.)
Mother: “Here’s a picture of what my daughter normally looks like, and look at her now. She’s really sick. What do you recommend?”
(A customer brings in a phone that is still covered in the snow she just dropped it in.)
Me: “I am sorry, but we do not service liquid-damaged phones.”
Customer: “How is that liquid damaged?”
Me: “Well, you brought it in covered in snow.”
Customer: “Snow is not water.”
Me: “It’s frozen water. See how the counter is getting wet?”
Customer: “Well, now it is! You need to replace my phone since you let it get wet!”
This story is part of the Even-More-Customers-Are-To-Blame roundup!
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Customer: “I want books on gynecology.”
Me: “Okay. This way, please…”
(I start to take her to the health section.)
Customer: “Yeah, I really want to learn about my ancestors.”
Me: *quickly change course to the genealogy section*
Related:
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation
(I work in a cell phone store. From time to time, we have to fix phones for people. Today, an elderly woman is asking me to look at her phone.)
Customer: “There is something wrong with my phone. Could you fix it for me?”
Me: “Sure, what’s it doing?”
Customer: “Well, it won’t make any phone calls.”
Me: “No problem. Can I see your phone for a moment?”
(The customer digs through her purse, pulls out a calculator, and hands it to me.)
Customer: “See, I punch in a phone number and nothing happens.”
Me: “Erm, did you grab this by mistake? This is a calculator, not a cell phone.” *hands back the calculator*
(The customer takes the calculator back, looks at it, then looks at me blankly before walking away.)
(I work at a video rental store that carries some adult movies in a side/back room. I am busy sorting our dropbox of movies when an older gentleman approaches my male coworker.)
Customer: “These [adult] movies didn’t work.”
Me: “I’m sorry. Did you want to grab a couple others to replace them?”
Customer: “No, you do it for me. These didn’t work.”
(I check the computer system for replacement copies.)
Me: “Well, these are the only copies of these movies, but you can go get two others for free today.”
Customer: “You go find two for me. I want ones that work. You go pick them out.”
Me: “You want me to go get you two replacements?”
Customer: “Yes, you.”
(I go into the back room and chooses two movies for the customer. I then clean the new movies and check out the customer.)
Me, to coworker: *after the customer leaves* “Please tell me you heard what he had me do.”
Coworker: “Did you just go pick out p*rn for him?”
Me: “Yeah. How weird.”
Coworker: *laughing* “I’d just grab the first two I found.”
Me: “I couldn’t! I had to find ones that were a similar theme.”
Coworker: “Awkward.”
Me: “Totally.”
