The Sun Is Such A Slacker Sometimes, Part 2

, , , | Right | July 30, 2010

(I work in a restaurant near a city park where a lot of events, like fairs or public concerts, are held.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

Caller: “You will be shooting off fireworks tonight, right?”

Me: “We won’t be, but yes, the city is setting off fireworks.”

Caller: “When is that going to happen? When have you scheduled it?”

Me: “We aren’t scheduling it, but my guess is the city will be shooting them off around sunset.”

Caller: “Well, when is that going to happen?”

Me: “I don’t know. We aren’t in charge of that. Perhaps you want to try calling the park and rec department?”

Caller: “How can you not know when you scheduled the sun to set?”


This story is part of our Customers Versus Mother Nature roundup!

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Acting Disorderly

, , , | Right | July 25, 2010

Me: “Are you ready to order?”

Customer: “No, we’re not ready to order yet.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll come back later.”

(I start to walk away.)

Customer: “Hey! Aren’t you going to ask us what we want to eat?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I thought you said you didn’t want me to take your order yet.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t really care what order you ask us in. I just want my food!”

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Talentless Pool

, , , , | Right | July 22, 2010

(A customer approaches the front desk.)

Customer: “Can I get a large gauze pad and a bandaid? And maybe some ointment, as well?”

Me: “What happened?”

Customer: “My son swam into the pool wall, and he cut his head open.”

Me: “Is he okay?”

Customer: “Yeah, just bleeding. He’s so used to swimming in the ocean with no walls. Poor thing.”

Me: “How old is your son?”

Customer: “19.”

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Taxing Faxing, Part 5

, , , , , | Right | July 12, 2010

Customer: “Can you make a copy of my fax papers?”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “Okay, now fax them.”

(I go over to the fax machine and send them; I come back with the papers.)

Customer: “I thought you were going to fax my papers?”

Me: “I just did.”

Customer: “Then why are the papers in your hands still?”

Me: “What are you talking about?”

Customer: “When you fax something, it sends the papers to them instantly doesn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, because it scans them and sends it.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought it sent the papers instantly to the number.”

Me: “Phone lines can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well, I guess I didn’t need the copies, then. Do I still have to pay for them if I give them back to you to get rid of?”

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Charged Up With Anger–If Nothing Else

, , , , , | Right | June 25, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. May I have your first and last name, please?”

Caller: “You people sent me a broken phone! I just got this phone from you people Friday and have charged it all f****** weekend and when I take it off the charger, it just dies! I want my money back and you better give me a new phone!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, it would be my pleasure to assist you in trying to troubleshoot–”

Caller: “I don’t want no d*** troubleshooting! I want a new phone! Now!”

Me: “I’ll be more than happy to get you a new phone but I first need some numbers from inside your phone to process the request. Can you please remove the back of the phone and remove the battery for me?”

Caller: “D*** straight you’ll get me a new phone!” *noise of fiddling with the battery cover* “You people try to rip good folk off and squeeze every dime, you leeching-” *pause* “Oh. My. God.”

Me: “Ma’am, you never placed the battery into the phone when you opened the box, did you?”

Caller: “Is that what the little black square thing is? Oh, shucks, I’ll take care of it now. Bye!”

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