(It’s my day off, and I’m shopping at the grocery store where I work. Note that I’m not in uniform and am dressed extremely casually; in fact, I’m wearing cat ears that I made myself. One of my coworkers notices me.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], you need to get on the registers! We’re backing up!”

Me: “I’m not on today.”

Coworker: “Don’t give me that! You are so! And what’s with the stupid things on your head?”

Me: “Like I said, I’m off today. See, I’m not even in uniform.”

Coworker: “You are so lazy! Get to your register now!”

Me: “I’m not—”

(My coworker pages the manager to come up and deal with me.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Coworker: “She’s not doing her job! And look! She’s not even in uniform!”

Manager: *to me* “What are you doing just standing around then! Get on your lane!”

Me: “As I’ve said, I’m not on the schedule today.”

Manager: “We’ll see about that!” *goes to the service desk and pulls out our schedule binder and looks at it* “See, here you are!”

Me: “On what day?”

Manager: “Tuesday, 3-11!”

Coworker: “Ha!”

Me: “And today is?”

Coworker: *smugly* “Monday.”

(A moment of silence passes between the two of them as they realize their error. Both turn bright red.)

Manager: *to me* “Uh… I’m sorry.”

Me: “And I quit!”

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(I work with a surprisingly attractive staff. While I’m not ugly, the majority of my coworkers are more attractive than me. An elderly man walks up to me.)

Customer: “I want you to serve me. Attractive people never have good service. You are NOT attractive, so I know you’ll do a great job!”

Me: “Umm… thanks?”

(I am a waitress and have three tables at the time. All of the tables request that I close the blinds so the sun will not be in their eyes. I close them and that’s when my boss walks over.)

Boss: “What the f*** are you doing?”

Me: “I am closing the blinds so the sun is not in our customers’ eyes.”

Boss: “No. Open them back up!”

Me: “But then the sun will be in their eyes and they won’t be comfortable.”

Boss: “Do I look like I give a d***?!”

(I refuse to open them, putting my job on the line, but I make the customers happy. As it turns out, one of the customers is a secret shopper and reports the incident to the owner. My boss was fired a week later, and guess who got a promotion!)

Me: “Just the belt for you today?”

Customer: “BELT!”

(He hands me his belt.)

Me: “Your total will be $21.09.”

Customer: “SWIPE!”

(He swipes his card.)

Me: “Would you like the receipt with you or in the bag?”

Customer: “RECEIPT!”

(I give him his receipt.)

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “Thank you for allowing this relationship!”

(One night, we received two buses. However, we only had two people back in grill. Normally, front counter is supposed to help by sending their extras to the back in the grill and help, but this day we only had two. When this happens, it’s the manager on shift who is supposed to hop on the line to help.)

Coworker: “Get [Manager’s Name]. We need help with these orders.”

Me: “On it!”

(I go over and knock on the shift manager’s office door, which is open.)

Me: [Manager], we’re taking five sandwiches per order. Could we please get some help?”

Manager: *gives me a “in a moment gesture”*

(Not getting any help from the manager, I go back to the grill and assist my coworker. After the first bus, we get a second. This time, my coworker goes to ask for help from the manager.)

Coworker: “[Manager], we got another bus. Could you please come out and help?”

Manager: *closes his door and continues talking on the phone*

(My coworker and I manage to get all the orders done, but the two front counter people are furious and storm into the back.)

Front Counter #1: *knocks on the door*

Manager: “What?”

Front Counter #1: “Who the h*** were you talking to!?”

Manager: “My friend’s in town, and we were catching up.”

Front Counter #2: “Didn’t you hear them calling for help!? We had two buses!”

Manager: “They didn’t ask for it.”

Front Counter #1: “Bulls***! I saw them! You were too busy sitting on your a** talking away on a personal call!”

Manager: “You can’t talk to me like that! I can have you two fired! Now, either start showing some respect or get out!”

(It’s worth noting that Front Counter #1 is the son of the manager’s boss. Fed up, both front counter people silently got their coats and walked out, effectively closing the store for the night. Thankfully, one week later, the manager was fired.)