Please See The Hypothetical Aisle

, , | Right | February 19, 2010

(A customer comes in looking for an item I knew we do not carry.)

Customer: “Where would I find a [item]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t carry that.”

Customer: *stares at me awhile* “Well, if you did carry it, what aisle would it be in?”

1 Thumbs
2,257

Being That Stupid Is Quite A Feet

, , , , | Right | February 17, 2010

Customer: “How big do people usually make fleece blankets?”

Me: “For people under six foot they’re usually 2 1/2 yards, and for over six feet, three yards.”

(The customer is silent for a moment, giving me a confused stare.)

Customer: “I’m just no good with metric yards.”

1 Thumbs
1,823

Fake On A Break

, , , , , | Right | February 12, 2010

Me: “May I see some ID, sir?”

Customer: “Uh, yeah. Here.”

(I take a look at the ID and am utterly speechless. It is by no means a bad fake, but the kid made one mistake when he ordered it. I motion over the bar manager, because I am utterly speechless. I hand him the fake.)

Manager: *laughing* “Kid, your fake says you are 19!”

(Everyone in line began laughing, and the kid took off. I noticed at least three other people in line check the date on their licenses.)

1 Thumbs
3,719

A Calculated Whisk

, , , , , | Right | January 22, 2010

(A customer arrives to pick up the meal he ordered over the phone.)

Me: “So, you would like to add two chocolate shakes to your phone-in order?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

(I crack out the calculator to add the two orders and sales tax.)

Customer: “Typical! Teenagers can’t solve any problems without a calculator.”

Me: “Okay, then, what’s your total?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Let me see the calculator.”

1 Thumbs
4,084

Conscience: We Loves It

, , , , , , , | Right | April 23, 2008

(This is around Halloween, and Halloween parties in Madison is THE biggest event of the year. My store has many Halloween costumes and other Halloween-related products during that time. I am at my cash register for check-out when a customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “Hi. Uhh… I’d like to buy these.”

(The customer puts down a wig, make-ups, a pantyhose, condoms, and lubes on my register.)

Me: “Okay.” *starts scanning*

Customer: “…”

Me: *still scanning*

Customer: “DON’T JUDGE ME!” *runs out*

Me: “?!”

1 Thumbs
3,431