I work with an older white woman. Because I’m legally and visibly white, she assumes I share her politics and worldview. We work in the same area, but I work on the docks and she works picking orders.

One day, I’m wrapping a skid at the wrapper and she walks over.

Coworker: “Those Mexicans are so rude, not speaking English as they should! They came here, so they need to learn the language, right?”

Me: “Um, they’re Puerto Rican, and I’ve enjoyed our Spanish conversations.”

I’m passably bilingual.

Coworker: “Stop enabling them! You’re in America; speak English!”

Me: “Oh, so, everybody who comes here should speak the local language?”

Coworker: “Of course!”

Me: “Great! If you’d like to learn Algonquin, there’s a lovely class in [Large City an hour away] that is great for beginners. I’ve learned a lot from them.”

Coworker: “Huh? I was talking about English!”

Me: “Yeah… See, my people were here first, and since the tribes around here spoke Algonquin, you’d better get on learning that.”

Coworker: “Your people? You’re white!”

Me: “Lady, my grandfather was half-Chahta — what the whites call Choctaw. Don’t assume somebody’s like you just because they look like you.”

Related:
Sensitivity Isn’t Native To This Coworker

A few years ago, I was in a grocery store that can be quite chaotic. It’s open twenty-four-seven, it’s always busy, and it has a bit of an unusual layout.

I was doing my shopping when an older Indian woman approached me and asked me where the hair dye was. I had actually bought hair dye here before, so I knew exactly where it was. It was clear that English was not the woman’s first language, so instead of trying to give her directions, I told her I would take her there and gestured for her to follow me.

When we got there, she smiled and nodded, but before I could turn away, she asked me which one to buy. I informed her that I didn’t actually work there.

Woman: “Yes, yes. I know. But you are nice. You will help me choose.”

She said this so calmly and politely that I found myself agreeing! This woman and I had a lovely conversation about what she was looking to do with her hair color. My mother was a hairdresser for over forty years, and I had been coloring my hair since grade school, so I was able to point her toward a product that would suit her needs. Overall, a pretty pleasant “I don’t work here”!

I have recently started working at a restaurant equipment company, and because I am so new and have no prior experience in this field, I answer phones a lot.

Me: “Hello, this is [Company]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “Uh, hi, yeah, I was wondering if you are open for lunch and what your specials are?”

Me: *Very confused* “Sir, this is a restaurant supply company. We sell ice cream machines and deep fryers. We aren’t actually a restaurant.”

Caller: “So, no lunch, then?”

Me: “Sorry, but no.”

Caller: “D*** you, b****!”

He hung up. I was left so confused after that encounter.

In 2018, my German friend asked if I could translate a job application for an acquaintance of his for free. I had never met [Acquaintance], but it only took me fifteen minutes, so I did it.

This kicked off a very weird FOUR YEARS.

In 2019:

Acquaintance: “I’m looking for another job [an international job managing a soccer team]. Can you confirm this translation [for free]?”

Me: “I’m confident you can do it yourself.”

Acquaintance: “If it’s not too much time, I would really appreciate having a native speaker look it over!”

I didn’t respond.

In 2021:

Acquaintance: “I’ve been thinking about you! Sadly, a lot of times, people only write to each other when they need something, and I’m sorry, but that’s how it is today. It would be really great if you could translate something [job-related] for me [for free] just like you did before!”

Acquaintance: “Here it is!” 

He sent me the text, but I didn’t respond.

In 2022:

Acquaintance: “This will sound weird, but I’ve never found anyone who could translate something into English as good as you did. What do you think about this [another soccer job application]? It doesn’t have to be for free, but it has to be good.”

Me: “I’ll do it for 500 Euros.”

Acquaintance: “Then you must have liked what I wrote?”

Me: “Of course.”

Acquaintance: “Can you lay it out like a graphic designer?”

I didn’t respond.

A couple of days later:

Acquaintance: “I hope you understand, in my field, I really have to know English, I can’t just have someone translate it for me. What do you think of this translation I wrote? Are there any big errors?”

Me: “I’m sure it’s fine. Good luck!”

A day or two later:

Acquaintance: “I need your help again. What do you think of this phrasing?”

I didn’t respond.

THEN, HE SENT ME, unprompted, photos of this huge car rental company he founded twenty years ago (apparently the fifth largest in Germany) and this massive house he built! His subject line was “[Company] Car Rental: Built Up From Nothing.”

Me: “It’s really impressive what you’ve built out of nothing! You’ve asked me for help many times over the years. But if you need help to get a job, you actually have to pay for it. We don’t have any kind of relationship where you could ask me to do this for free. We aren’t even acquaintances, you understand? I did it once out of love to [Friend], but just once. And not only but especially because you’re looking for an international job, this comes across as really rude. One can see from the photos that you’re quite successful. You can afford it. Make a proposal and I’ll consider it.”

THEN, he wrote me a long letter explaining his life story.

I didn’t respond.

In 2022, three weeks later:

Acquaintance: “You probably think I’m crazy. Don’t think I’m rude. Before I pay to have this translated, which would make the process longer, I decided to translate it myself. If you want to, please look it over and feel free to make corrections…”

The office building where I used to work was on a small and winding side road off of a major road. The small size of the road and a very long cycle time at the traffic light where it merged onto the main road meant that, at the end of each day, there would end up being a long line of traffic, all waiting to get out and head home.

However, if you headed in the other direction on the side road we were on, it eventually looped back around and connected to the main road a bit further south. And, since no one really headed in that direction, there was no line and it ended up being very quick.

I pointed this out to some of my coworkers, and while a couple did start to head down that direction like I did, most of them waved me off, insisting that it was still faster to wait rather than wind your way down and around the side road.

One of my coworkers, however, took it quite a bit further. You see, she spotted me turning down the road, and then, after she’d inched her way closer to the main road’s intersection, she spotted my distinctive green car driving through the intersection ahead of her, despite having left the parking lot after her.

The next day, she came up to me, accused me of “cheating,” and berated me about how I shouldn’t “cut in line” but should follow “traffic rules” properly. In her mind, driving legally in a way that avoids traffic is somehow illegal.

When I didn’t do much more than laugh, she went to complain to my boss about my “cheating”. Thankfully, my boss is not insane, so the only thing that she did was come down to check with me that she understood the complaint and then shared a laugh with me over the absurdity.