Unfiltered Story #154735

, , , | Unfiltered | June 13, 2019

(I’m working drive-thru, and a man orders at least two burgers and I try to repeat back his order before storing it)
Me: I have one mushroom & swiss double basket, one cheeseburger double basket, and one single plain cheeseburger sandwich?
Customer: No, that’s wrong. It’s a single.
Me: Which one?
Customer: The cheeseburger.
Me: Ok so one mushroom & swiss double basket, one cheeseburger single basket, and one single plain cheeseburger sandwich?
Customer: No! It’s wrong! It’s a single!
Me: They’re all single?
Customer: (now practically screaming) I want one single cheeseburger basket with a Dr. Pepper and another with a Pepsi.
Me: So is there three burgers in total?
Customer: I quit.
(He left, but my co-workers assured me that he had not been specific.)

The Windy City Isn’t As Windy As It Used To Be

, , , , , | Friendly | June 10, 2019

(I live in the state of Wisconsin and I have Internet friends all over, including one in North Carolina. The following is a conversation I once had with her.)

Friend: “Come give me a hug!”

Me: “Sure! I’ll be there in however long it takes me to get from Wisconsin to North Carolina.”

Friend: “Wisconsin?”

Me: “The state? Wisconsin?”

Friend: “Wisconsin is a state?”

(We get other Internet friends involved, most of them yelling at her that yes, Wisconsin is a state. I start trying to describe where it’s located to maybe get her to realize.)

Me: “Have you ever heard of the city Chicago?”

Friend: “Chicago? Yeah, isn’t it over by Idaho?”

Me: *deep sigh*

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They Work In Eye Care But They Cannot See

, , , , | Working | June 5, 2019

My eye doctor retired a couple of years ago, right around the time his practice stopped taking my insurance, anyway. As a result, I pushed my contact lenses to the limit, because finding a new eye doctor who would take my insurance was troublesome, and I initially wanted to go to a different practice. At last, however, my contacts are so old that I’m worried about damaging my eyes if I continue to wear them, or ripping them with no replacements, so I’m ready to bite the bullet and try a walk-in eye care center for the first time.

It’s late afternoon on Black Friday, and I’m desperate; this is the first time since the situation became dire that I have had any time to do this, and my mother agrees that we will go to the eye care center in the mall, since she has other shopping to do, anyway. We walk in. There are some other customers, but not a massive amount, and there is nobody at the reception desk in the middle of the room.

A young man in his late teens or early twenties comes by a minute later and greets us, but says he can’t do anything for us; he seems to be a low-level employee whose only job is cleaning. A woman stops by at last, and we explain that I need an eye exam to renew my prescription and will make an appointment if none are available for the rest of the day. She says she’ll be with us in a minute, tells us to take a seat, and proceeds to go over to a pair of customers who are looking at glasses and are extremely picky. That’s their prerogative, of course, but after waiting for fifteen minutes with every apparent employee focusing on various glasses customers when all we want is to make an appointment for later if the doctor can’t see us now, I insist that we leave, resigned to having to wait another few days until I had the time to try a different store on the other side of town.

As we are pulling out, I realize that there is a different eye care center in a strip mall right across the street! We walk in; there are three employees sitting behind the counter who greet us immediately, and have no problem squeezing me in for an appointment the next morning when they see how crestfallen I am that the first one they offer is too late in the afternoon, when I’ll already be at work. I have since had nothing but rapid, excellent, and affordable care from them.

If only the employees at the other eye care center had bothered to speak to us for two minutes, I’d be their new patient and customer, instead!

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Unfiltered Story #152519

, , | Unfiltered | June 1, 2019

At my company, we must receive written approval from an account owner before discussing billing matters. This particular customer had called a couple hours earlier to make changes, but he was not the owner himself. The previous agent had explained the security policy, and sent him an email with the owner in CC. We were just waiting for the owner’s reply. The customer called back to complain.

Customer: The owner will not see your email until it’s too late. You must make the changes now!

Me: I understand the urgency. We have our resources in place. As soon as the reply comes in, we’ll be ready to go.

Customer: I’m telling you, the owner is traveling. He doesn’t have time to read your emails. He will not be able to reply. We can’t wait for him.

Me: I’m very sorry, but we cannot bypass our security policies. We’ll need to wait for the reply.

Customer: HE WILL NOT REPLY! HE IS TRAVELING!

This continued back and forth for several minutes. I had called up his ticket in our system, to see if there was anything I could say to calm him down. In that moment, the owner’s reply came in.

Customer: …you need to do this now! Our company…

Me: Oh! I don’t mean to interrupt, but it looks like the reply just came in!

Customer: What? No. No, the owner is traveling. If you see a reply, it was just some automated message.

Me: Actually, it’s just what we need. He gave the okay for us to get started and coordinate with you. Everything looks good!

Customer: That’s not possible. He is traveling! He… Ohh. I do see that email.

Me: And it looks like the agent handling your case has seen the reply too. He’s already alerted our finance team to get started. You should get an update…now. Do you see that email as well?

Customer: (dejected) …yes.

Me: Excellent! I do apologize for the inconvenience, but I’m glad everything came through quickly. Is there anything else I can help you with today?

Customer: (angry and sputtering) NO! It’s still a stupid policy! We might have been delayed for days, and that hurts our business! *click*

One Single Line Is All It Takes…

, , , , | Right | May 28, 2019

(I very occasionally lose my brain-to-mouth filter and interesting stuff happens. Most of the time when I lose my filter I’m around friends and family, but this time…)

Me: “All right, that will be [total].”

(A customer who is an elderly female first pulls out a large bill, then says:)

Customer: “Hold on. I think I have exact change!”

(She pulls out a couple of small bills and a LOT of singles.)

Customer: “You’d think with all these singles I’d have enough!”

Me: “Well, hey, at least you’ll be set if you need to go to a strip club.”

(The moment I’ve said it I want to scream in horror at what I’ve said, not just because of who I have said it to, but because one of my supervisors is standing four feet away! And the look he gives me is one of equal horror to my own. Thankfully:)

Customer: *laughing hysterically* “Oh, lord, that is the truth, though!”

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