A Monster Mash Potato

, , , , | Right | August 7, 2018

(I am working in an express lane. I am still finishing up with the first customer when the second customer sets down a small tub of plain yogurt on the belt.)

Customer #1: “Hey, did you know that if you put regular yogurt in your mashed potatoes, it makes ’em creamier?”

Customer #2: “Really? I didn’t know that! I might have to try that.”

Customer #1: “You learn something new everyday!” *walks away*

(As soon as [Customer #1] is out of earshot…)

Customer #2: *to me* “Yeah… I am definitely not trying that.”

This Request Cuts No Ice With Me

, , , , | Right | August 7, 2018

(I am running the drive-thru, taking orders.)

Customer: “Can I get two large [iced drink]s?”

Me: “Okay, anything else for you?”

Customer: “Yes, can we get fresh ice with that?”

(I then think for a second, not sure if I just heard what I did. I then think maybe she meant something else.)

Me: “By ‘fresh ice’ do you mean extra ice?”

Customer: “No, no, just fresh ice.”

(I pause for a second, still not sure if this is happening.)

Me: “Okay, yeah… I can do that for you.”

Unfiltered Story #117846

, | Unfiltered | August 7, 2018

My sophomore year everyone was required to take a civics class, and it just so happened that my best friend and crush ended up on the same class. One thing you have to know before hearing this story is that my best friend is clean, she doesn’t do any drugs or anything, and my crush being involved in certain sports doesn’t have the ability either becuase of certain blood tests required for participation, not to mention I’ve heard stories of how he refused to take anything. One day in their class the teacher paired them up to work together, and they had to do a project on something that felt strongly about. That might my best friend was texting me about it, and she was telling me what they picked. Keep in mind I’m normally a very chill person.
Best friend- ya [crush] and me decided to do it on prescription drugs
Me- really? What did you guys do with it?
Best friend- well he doesn’t think mixing prescitipon drugs should be illegal
Me- WHAT HES INTO THAT (I thought to make like illegal drugs)
Best friend- ya
Me- dude he’s a wrestler how can he…
best friend- and I agree with him. It should be a thing
Best friend- [me] he means to make stronger prescription drugs to fight diseases. I think so too. No he doesn’t do drugs- wait omg
Me- wait really
Best friend- duh omg you’re never living this down. And I’m telling [crush]
She didn’t end up telling him but I never lived it down. It’s been a long time since that happened, and she still makes fun of me for it

If The Crazy Glove Fits…

, , , , , | Right | August 7, 2018

(I work as hotel security. We get a call from a guest saying he wants to see me.)

Me: “Hello, sir, I’m Officer [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Guest: “Hey, I found these gloves on the floor in the hall.” *points to six winter gloves*

Me: “Okay, I can take those to lost and found.”

Guest: “No, I’m really upset. I mean, why would anyone leave gloves outside my door like that?”

(This is a new one.)

Me: “Well, somebody might have dropped them, or they left the gloves at the wrong room.”

Guest: “I want you to call the police. With everything going on, I’m really upset about this.”

Me: “Really? They’re… The police aren’t going to come for some gloves. I can take them to lost and found, but…”

Guest: “No, I want you to call the police.”

(Policy is to contact our patrol before the police, and this is too stupid to not share. On the way over, the responding officer says I need to be more of a d**k.)

Patrol Officer: “Hello, sir, what’s the problem?”

Guest: “Well, I found these gloves outside my door, and I want to call the police.”

Patrol Officer: “They’re not going to come. If you call them, they will laugh at you. We can take the gloves to lost and found, but otherwise there’s nothing else I can do.”

Guest: “No, I’ll keep them. Good night.”

(Later, I got a call from a police officer. The guest went ahead and called them. The cop asked if I had it under control, and laughed when I told him I had everything in hand. I called the guest back, just to tell him the police were not going to respond to his call about gloves. I offered to take them off his hands again, but he insisted on holding on to them. I guess he thought that if they were dangerous, he was better trained or equipped than law enforcement.)

Refunder Blunder, Part 39

, , , , , | Right | July 24, 2018

(A customer comes into the store to return a Wii console.)

Me: “Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s in my car; I’ll go get it.”

(He comes back in and hands me a crumpled receipt, folded over.)

Me: *looks at receipt* “Sir, this receipt is for [Competing Store].”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “So, I can’t give you a refund if you didn’t purchase it from here.”

Customer: “But you sell these here, so I should be able to return it here.”

Me: “Yes, sir, we sell them here, but you gave your money to [Competing Store], not to [Our Store], so we can not return the money we never had in our possession. That’s a loss for our company, and a gain for our competitor, and I wouldn’t even be able to sell this system as new because it has been opened and played.”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager!”

Me: “I am the manager on duty at this time, but I will tell you that even our corporate office will tell you the same thing.”

Customer: “But you have Wiis here! I don’t see the problem!”

Me: *mentally slams head into counter repeatedly*

Refunder Blunder, Part 38
Refunder Blunder, Part 37
Refunder Blunder, Part 36

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