Who Has To Die Before You Can Reply?

, , , , , , , | Working | February 20, 2018

I am disabled and currently using state career services to find a job. My case manager is notoriously bad at responding to emails. Unfortunately, he has a speech impediment that I can’t understand over the phone due to my disability, so I stick to emailing multiple times until he responds.

I have already had a meeting with him, where I told him I am looking for an internship for the summer before I start graduate school. However, shortly after this my grandmother is hospitalized. I email him to say that I will no longer be looking for an internship this summer, as I have to help my family take care of my grandmother.

I don’t get any response to this email, and my grandmother grows considerably worse and passes away a few weeks later. I assume that the email got lost and I’ll have to send him a new one, but because of the stress of losing my grandmother, I don’t get around to it. Three weeks after the initial email, on the exact day my grandmother is buried, I finally get a response. There is no apology for the lateness or even an acknowledgement that he took three weeks to respond, and it opens with, “I hope your grandmother is doing better.”

It takes all of my strength not to reply, “No. She died, you jacka**.”

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Slyther Into That Conversation

, , , , , , | Friendly | February 2, 2018

(I’m ringing out a woman and her daughter when I hear the daughter talking about her and her friends coming up with a Nimbus 2002, based on the flying brooms from Harry Potter. Being a fan, I chime in.)

Me: “You know, I always wondered why they never customized their brooms.”

Girl: “Customized?”

Mom: “Made them special.”

Me: “Like, the Slytherins would have green and silver, and the Gryffindors would have red and gold.”

Girl: “Scarlet and gold.”

(The mom laughs.)

Mom: “So, which house is your favorite?”

Me: “Definitely Gryffindor.”

Girl: “I like Slytherin.”

Mom: “She likes the bad guys.”

Girl: “Like Malfoy.”

Me: “Ugh, wait until my father hears about this!”

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Fire That Glitch!

, , , , , | Working | January 5, 2018

(I have just gotten a job at a sword shop in the local renaissance fair. This fair is open most of the summer, but the owner of the shop also sells at two other fairs. It’s the end of the day, and I’m just learning how to close out my register.)

Owner: “Next, you compare the total cash in the drawer to what the computer says it should be.”

Me: “They’re the same.”

Owner: “They’re supposed to be the same, but there’s a glitch in the software somewhere that I haven’t been able to fix. How far off is yours?”

Me: “No, they’re the same.” *I point to the numbers and show him that my totals match, right down to the penny*

Owner: “That’s weird. At my other locations they’re usually off by a couple hundred dollars. I wonder if the software company finally got it fixed? I guess we’ll know tomorrow.”

(My totals were never off by more than five cents. Mine was the ONLY register that was always spot-on. After a few rounds of this, he figured out why, and fired the cashiers at his other shops for stealing.)

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Unfiltered Story #102735

, , | Unfiltered | January 5, 2018

(I work as a report writer for my company, handling reporting needs for several different departments. One day, out of the blue, I am contacted by an employee with a list of changes he wants made to several reports, which are all used by an entirely separate department that he is not part of. I e-mail him for clarification.)

Me: “Hi [Coworker]. I got your e-mail, and I just wanted to check if you had an updated technical document with these changes listed in it. The reports you mentioned have very specific formats, so I want to make sure that [Department] will still be able to use them after the update.”

Coworker: “When will these changes be finished?”

Me: “Once I have the technical specs, it shouldn’t take me that long to finish. Do you have a contact in [Department] that might know where the specs are located in the company intranet?”

Coworker: “How many hours will it take you to finish this?”

(At this point, I forwarded the e-mail chain to my supervisor for her take on it. She replied:)

Supervisor: “[Coworker]. These changes were discussed in the meeting last week, but it was determined that we would wait until the general update later this year.”

Coworker: *replying only to me, leaving my supervisor off* “How long will it take you to complete these changes?”

(At that point, I just ignored him and moved on to my other tasks. A week later, he submitted a different request, but he hasn’t mentioned the updates since.)

Not Even Christmas Lights Can Penetrate Those Skulls

, , , , , , , | Related | December 31, 2017

(My father, sisters, and I are visiting our grandparents for New Year’s. We’re all piled into their SUV, as it’s easier to take one vehicle, and getting ready to go out to dinner. My grandmother, sisters, and I are in the back two rows while my dad and grandpa are up front. As we’re pulling out of the drive way, we notice that the lights in Dad’s vehicle are on. It turns out I hadn’t shut the door all the way when I got something out of there earlier.)

Grandma: “Yup, men have good eyes, they do. Not much gets past them.”

Sister: *in the furthest back row* “Yeah, not much gets through to them, either.”

(We’re all trying hard not to laugh too loud, because neither of them noticed, being in the far front and in conversation.)

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