Unfiltered Story #102735

, , | Unfiltered | January 5, 2018

(I work as a report writer for my company, handling reporting needs for several different departments. One day, out of the blue, I am contacted by an employee with a list of changes he wants made to several reports, which are all used by an entirely separate department that he is not part of. I e-mail him for clarification.)

Me: “Hi [Coworker]. I got your e-mail, and I just wanted to check if you had an updated technical document with these changes listed in it. The reports you mentioned have very specific formats, so I want to make sure that [Department] will still be able to use them after the update.”

Coworker: “When will these changes be finished?”

Me: “Once I have the technical specs, it shouldn’t take me that long to finish. Do you have a contact in [Department] that might know where the specs are located in the company intranet?”

Coworker: “How many hours will it take you to finish this?”

(At this point, I forwarded the e-mail chain to my supervisor for her take on it. She replied:)

Supervisor: “[Coworker]. These changes were discussed in the meeting last week, but it was determined that we would wait until the general update later this year.”

Coworker: *replying only to me, leaving my supervisor off* “How long will it take you to complete these changes?”

(At that point, I just ignored him and moved on to my other tasks. A week later, he submitted a different request, but he hasn’t mentioned the updates since.)

Not Even Christmas Lights Can Penetrate Those Skulls

, , , , , , , , | Related | December 31, 2017

(My father, sisters, and I are visiting our grandparents for New Year’s. We’re all piled into their SUV, as it’s easier to take one vehicle, and getting ready to go out to dinner. My grandmother, sisters, and I are in the back two rows while my dad and grandpa are up front. As we’re pulling out of the drive way, we notice that the lights in Dad’s vehicle are on. It turns out I hadn’t shut the door all the way when I got something out of there earlier.)

Grandma: “Yup, men have good eyes, they do. Not much gets past them.”

Sister: *in the furthest back row* “Yeah, not much gets through to them, either.”

(We’re all trying hard not to laugh too loud, because neither of them noticed, being in the far front and in conversation.)

Cashing In Their Opinion

, , , , , | Working | December 25, 2017

(My partner and I are at the store getting some last minute Christmas wrapping supplies.)

Cashier: “Did you find everything okay?”

Me: “Yup, thanks!”

Partner: “This should be the last of the Christmas stuff, finally.”

Me: “Yeah, we got all our presents sorted yesterday.” *turning to partner* “Oh, wait, you didn’t get something for [Partner’s Brother] yet. We could drop by [comic store] to look for something.”

Partner: *shrug* “I don’t really care that much.”

Cashier: *laughing* “I bet [Partner’s Brother] cares!”

Me: “Nah, actually he probably doesn’t. He isn’t super into gifts or super close to his siblings, so it’s not really considered a big deal.”

Partner: “Also, he’s the reason we don’t have heat in our house right now. He’s our landlord and he still hasn’t fixed our heat.”

Cashier: *shocked* “Really?! You have no heat?!”

Partner: “Nope. We have space heaters in our bedrooms, but it’s a big old drafty house, so they don’t do much.”

Me: *trying to be generous to [Partner’s Brother]* “The radiators need to be replaced and he just hasn’t gotten around to fixing them yet. He’s working on it, but—”

Cashier: *indignant* “If that happened at my apartment, oh boy… he wouldn’t be getting s*** from me!”

(My partner never did get around to getting him a Christmas present, and we still don’t have heat in the house. Neither of us are actually mad at him about it but we still think the cashier’s reaction was hilarious!)

How To Nerf Annoying Neighbors

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 25, 2017

(I work from home, so my apartment neighbors don’t see me much. My sister is coming back in town to celebrate Christmas. As I haven’t seen her in months, and we are all a bit weird, I get the idea to do the whole “Welcome home! Your brother, niece, and I are hiding with fully-loaded Nerf guns. You have 30 seconds to grab your two guns on the counter.” I go down to my storage unit to test out and select guns from the mass arsenal I’m holding from 22 years of collective Nerf fighting between the three of us. I am picking out which to bring over to our mother’s house and which would be best for my four-year-old to use to help us. I leave the door open because I don’t think it will take that long. There are apartments in the basement, as well as a laundry room for people who don’t have in-apartment washers. I’m 5’6”, female, and rail-thin, and l am pretty much in my pajamas.)

Me: *click, click, pff! click, click, pff!* “Oh, that’s so mine!”

Neighbor: *peeking in* “Uh…”

Me: *turning around with an uzi of a Nerf gun over my shoulder* “What? It’s the holidays!”

(The neighbor gets all wide-eyed and bolts.)

Me: “I don’t know if I should be upset that he thinks I’m a crazy person, or glad he will never come knocking if my TV is too loud.”

Unfiltered Story #101992

, , , | Unfiltered | December 25, 2017

(Recently moving back home I was doing my Christmas shopping last minute. I parked in a back ally lot and used a delivery door to avoid traffic. I had worked in that mall for years, knew everyone, and could tell you the ins and outs.)

*After I appeared through a side door*: Manager: You don’t work here.

Me: Nope. But remember when I did and all the fights we had? It must be my hair I’m (name).

*look of shock*

Me: Yeah. Meet my kid who’s dad you tried to dramatically raise rent on out of contract. Move!

*manager steps aside*

Me: Thank you! Hey (security guard)! You’re still here!

Page 3/1312345...Last
« Previous
Next »