Where No Blue Potato Has Gone Before…

, , , , , , , | Right | July 21, 2019

(I am telling a few of my coworkers that the customers do not listen to us until after they are done speaking. I tell them we could say the most ludicrous things, and they would not even bat an eye.)

Me: “I could tell them my name was Blue Potato, and it would not matter.”

Coworker: “No way! You can’t do that!”

(My phone rings just then, and I smile and look my coworker in the eye.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Location]. My name is Blue Potato. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Well, I need to—“ *call proceeds normally and I smirk at my coworker*

(After the call:)

Coworker: “I can’t believe you did that! That was a one-time thing, though.”

(To prove my point, I introduce myself as characters from various fandoms — everything from Star Trek, Firefly, and various cartoons. I’m having such fun with it that I start keeping a notebook page of it. No one, and I repeat no one is batting an eye at all the strange names. Not even Princess Leia or Princess Peach, even though I am a man with a fairly deep voice. I’m having fun with it and decide to do the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Again, no reactions. I get another call, and with gusto, I introduce myself.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Location]. My name is Shredder. How can I help you today?”

(A very sweet-sounding, grandma-type voice responds.)

Customer: “Well, Shredder, I have a problem I was hoping you could help with.”

(I got a laugh out of it with my coworkers afterward, not only about how long I was able to keep going with the joke, but the fact that the one who did catch me was not caught off guard at all by my name. We nicknamed her “Cool Granny.”)

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Unfiltered Story #158315

, , | Unfiltered | July 17, 2019

(I work at a big name electronics store…. I get this call quite a bit)

Me: Thank you for calling (store) this is (name) how can I help you?

Customer: Yes, can I have the electronics department please?

Unfiltered Story #157564

, , , , | Unfiltered | July 14, 2019

I am the second customer in line at the gift shop at a waterpark. The woman in front of me paid her $20 bill with a stack of wet singles. One clerk is using a piece of plastic to press the water out of the bills.

Me: Does that happen often?
Clerk: More than you know.
Me: I am so sorry.

( I paid with dry cash)

Not How You Monopolize That Promotion

, , , , , | Right | July 12, 2019

(I’m working front counter after a certain Monopoly promotion has just ended.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Customer: *hands me a Monopoly piece flipped down so I can’t see what it is* “I want this.”

Me: *looks at it* “Ma’am, I’m sorry but I can’t give you Pacific Avenue.”

(I have to say, that did make my day better.)

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That Only Comes With The Seasonal Pass

, , , | Right | July 8, 2019

(We sell games and toys. Because of our convenient location in the shopping center, customers often wander in looking for products we don’t carry. The most commonly asked-for items are calendars, greeting cards, souvenirs, and candy. A middle-aged woman walks in on a Saturday afternoon.)

Coworker: “Welcome!”

Customer: “Do you just sell games?”

Coworker: “Um, yep, games!”

Customer: “Oh. Because I was just looking for… like a baptismal bonnet.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. No, we don’t sell clothing.”

(The customer leaves.)

Me: *to coworker* “I think that tops the list of strange things people have asked for!”

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