You Make Something Idiot-Proof And The Universe Will Just Make A Better Idiot

, , , , | Right | May 21, 2021

I work at a big store that contains a lot of self-checkouts. I’m handling a group, or bullpen, of seven checkouts, four of which are in “card-only” mode because of our penny shortage at the store. To try and get customers to understand “card-only,” there are five locations on the machine that tell a customer the mode it’s in: the bar above the machine, a sign covering the cash insert slot, a sign above the scanner, a huge red square around the touch screen with “Cards Only” written all over, and a prompt that makes customers acknowledge that the machine is card only.

It’s been about thirty minutes into the day and I’ve already had three out of seven customers try to use cash in the card-only machines. A customer walks in with a moderate cart of groceries. 

Me: “Hello, do you need help with anything?”

The customer shakes her head.

Me: “If you need anything, let me know.”

I walk off and tend to the pay station as there are only two customers, including her, in the bullpen. I watch her scan her item and look at the prompt. She seems to read it for a good two minutes before hitting “yes.” The customer proceeds to scan the rest of her items before getting out her wallet. She then proceeds to pull out bills and look for a place to insert them. She even goes as far as removing the sign on the cash insert slot and tries to put it in there. I walk over.

Me: “Ma’am, this is a card-only machine. It won’t accept cash.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t know that! You should’ve said something!”

I’m already irritated by the past three customers not paying attention.

Me: “How is that possible? I watched you hit ‘yes’ to the prompt that was on the screen explaining that this machine was card-only.”

Customer: “That’s just one thing! I wasn’t paying attention!”

I sigh softly and then point to the other four signs that indicate that the machine is card-only. She realizes that it was her fault she wasn’t paying attention, thankfully.

Customer: “Well… can you save my transaction?” 

Me: “I wish I could help, but unfortunately, because I don’t have money in my till, you will have to rescan everything at another machine that can take cash.”

Surprisingly, she just nodded, gathered her stuff, and went to another machine.

The rest of the day was better, but that didn’t stop people from not paying attention to the five different signs that were shoved in their faces.

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Service That Blows The Doors Open

, , , , | Right | May 19, 2021

While working in a hotel, I receive a call at about 1:00 am.

Guest: “My husband is locked in the bathroom!”

Me: “What?! How did this happen?”

Guest: “The doorknob just spins around all the way and it does not control the latch.”

I run down there to investigate and, sure enough, the doorknob just spins around all the way, not allowing the door to open.

I take out my knife and cut up the keycard that I used to get through the security door into an L shape and try to pop the latch open to free the guest.

The gentleman in the bathroom is slowly getting more and more agitated. He begins to swear and yell.

Guest’s Husband: “You don’t know what you’re doing! Just call a locksmith!”

Guest: *Encouragingly* “Oh, he’ll be fine. You’re doing great.”

After a bit of effort, I managed to pop the door open, and the gentleman immediately wrapped me in a huge bear hug.

They all thanked me profusely. I duct-taped the door latch to prevent the incident from happening again, and the man’s son tipped me $20, which I tried repeatedly to refuse.

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Holy Crap, This Unlocked Some Memories

, , , , , , , | Working | May 10, 2021

I am a manager at a video game store. In my off time at home, I often play PC games with my wife. In particular, we both like RuneScape, a medieval-themed MMORPG. One of my coworkers is also into RuneScape; he often talks and brags about his achievements to customers, much to their — and my — irritation. He has also had a habit of showing up late from time to time, and in some cases not showing up at all. This story takes place on my day off. My wife and I are playing a minigame on RuneScape when an announcement appears in chat.

Announcement: “News: [Coworker’s Username] has just achieved level 99 in all skills!”

Wife: “Wow, he finally maxed!”

Me: “Indeed. Shame he felt it necessary to skip out the morning shift to get it though, am I right?”

Wife: “I guess.”

Me: “Ah, well. I’ll congratulate him tomorrow. Maxing is a big achievement, after all.”

When he came in to work the following day, I congratulated him on maxing his account… and then fired him for excessive lateness because he was already on his last chance. Ironically, his RuneScape account would get banned a month later for using an unauthorized third-party bot program.

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Thanks So Much, Mr. Helpful

, , , , | Working | April 23, 2021

At the last minute, a friend has invited us to stay in an extra room that they reserved at an area water park. The room is open due to their other friends deciding not to be guests, so we finish our activities and quickly drive up.

In the lobby, I walk up to the front desk and the older employee just stares at me, waiting for me to tell him what I want. I tell him that I am here to pick up keys and wristband while also telling him my name and my wife’s. I also tell him the name of the friend who invited us.

He stares at his screen for a bit before walking to the left to look for wristbands. He says he cannot find our names, so I go outside to try and contact my friends while my wife stays inside to talk to the older employee, who just looks anywhere but the computer and says we are not listed.

I find our friends and tell them what happened, and then I walk with them to the lobby where we encounter a different employee. We tell her the story and she looks at the computer and immediately finds our names. She also walks to the same drawers that the older employee had looked through and finds the wristbands at the top. She immediately apologizes as she wishes us a safe stay.

While we have a free room for a couple of days, the reviews also tell the tale of this resort; there are negative reviews of certain employees. My guess is that he was clocking off soon and wanted to look like he was working.

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His Success Hinges On Him Knowing What He Is Doing

, , , , , | Right | April 15, 2021

A guy in my apartment complex decided that he wanted to take his door off so that he could fit some furniture through his doorway. Rather than doing the smart thing and either A) contacting the supervisor about getting the door taken off properly, or B) getting a screwdriver and unscrewing the hinges himself, he decided that it would be a wonderful idea to open the door, jump up onto it, and yank and pull until he literally ripped the hinges out of the doorframe, tearing out part of the door frame, as well.

He then moved the furniture in and then tried to put the door back up, only to discover that ripping out the hinges makes it very difficult to get the door to stay back in place. So, at that point, he called the supervisor to complain about his door being broken. The supervisor misunderstood, thought the guy was reporting a break-in, and advised him to wait outside while he called the police.

The stupidity didn’t end there, however. Apparently, at that point, the idea that he might get in trouble for ripping down his door made its way into his brain, so he decided that it would be best to wait just inside his apartment, with a baseball bat, until the police arrived. So, they entered to see a man crouching down with a baseball bat.

Lucky for him, they didn’t have itchy trigger fingers, but he did end up being forced to pay for the replacement of the door and the door frame. Even after that, he had the audacity to try calling and demanding to be moved into a different apartment, as well as trying to wiggle out of paying by claiming he was never warned about not “removing” his door.

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