Curb Your Expectations

, , , , , | Right | February 24, 2018

(I work in a fast food restaurant that has a drive-thru. I have just finished taking a customer’s order and the middle-aged man pulls up to the window.)

Customer: *mumbling something under breath*

Me: “I’m sorry. What was that?”

Customer: *very angrily, he yells* “Nice place to put a curb!”

Me: “Okay.”

(I shut the window, and left it at that. I am 19 years old and going to college. I didn’t build the 15-year-old building.)

Unfiltered Story #105944

, | Unfiltered | February 21, 2018

(So i’m The problem child in this story. I very occasionally lose my brain to mouth filter and interesting stuff happens, most of the time when I lose my filter i’m Around friends and family but this time…..)

Me: alright that will be ($total)

(Customer who is an elderly female first pulls out a large bill then says)

Customer: hold on I think I have exact change!

(She pulls out a couple of small bills and a LOT of singles, she even said as much)

Customer: you’d think with all these single’s i’d have enough!

Me: well hey, at least you’ll be set if you need to go to a strip club.

(The moment i’ve said it I want to scream in horror at what i’d said, not just because of who I had said it to but because one of my supervisors was standing four feet away!!! And the look he gave me was one of equal horror to my own. Thankfully….)

Customer: *laughing hysterically* oh lord that is the truth though!!!

Who Has To Die Before You Can Reply?

, , , , , , , | Working | February 20, 2018

I am disabled and currently using state career services to find a job. My case manager is notoriously bad at responding to emails. Unfortunately, he has a speech impediment that I can’t understand over the phone due to my disability, so I stick to emailing multiple times until he responds.

I have already had a meeting with him, where I told him I am looking for an internship for the summer before I start graduate school. However, shortly after this my grandmother is hospitalized. I email him to say that I will no longer be looking for an internship this summer, as I have to help my family take care of my grandmother.

I don’t get any response to this email, and my grandmother grows considerably worse and passes away a few weeks later. I assume that the email got lost and I’ll have to send him a new one, but because of the stress of losing my grandmother, I don’t get around to it. Three weeks after the initial email, on the exact day my grandmother is buried, I finally get a response. There is no apology for the lateness or even an acknowledgement that he took three weeks to respond, and it opens with, “I hope your grandmother is doing better.”

It takes all of my strength not to reply, “No. She died, you jacka**.”

Slyther Into That Conversation

, , , , , , | Friendly | February 2, 2018

(I’m ringing out a woman and her daughter when I hear the daughter talking about her and her friends coming up with a Nimbus 2002, based on the flying brooms from Harry Potter. Being a fan, I chime in.)

Me: “You know, I always wondered why they never customized their brooms.”

Girl: “Customized?”

Mom: “Made them special.”

Me: “Like, the Slytherins would have green and silver, and the Gryffindors would have red and gold.”

Girl: “Scarlet and gold.”

(The mom laughs.)

Mom: “So, which house is your favorite?”

Me: “Definitely Gryffindor.”

Girl: “I like Slytherin.”

Mom: “She likes the bad guys.”

Girl: “Like Malfoy.”

Me: “Ugh, wait until my father hears about this!”

Fire That Glitch!

, , , , , , | Working | January 5, 2018

(I have just gotten a job at a sword shop in the local renaissance fair. This fair is open most of the summer, but the owner of the shop also sells at two other fairs. It’s the end of the day, and I’m just learning how to close out my register.)

Owner: “Next, you compare the total cash in the drawer to what the computer says it should be.”

Me: “They’re the same.”

Owner: “They’re supposed to be the same, but there’s a glitch in the software somewhere that I haven’t been able to fix. How far off is yours?”

Me: “No, they’re the same.” *I point to the numbers and show him that my totals match, right down to the penny*

Owner: “That’s weird. At my other locations they’re usually off by a couple hundred dollars. I wonder if the software company finally got it fixed? I guess we’ll know tomorrow.”

(My totals were never off by more than five cents. Mine was the ONLY register that was always spot-on. After a few rounds of this, he figured out why, and fired the cashiers at his other shops for stealing.)

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