Computer Error

, , , , , | Right | July 31, 2019

(I’m working the service desk at a big box store when an older man comes up with a plastic grocery bag.)

Coworker: “What can I help you with?”

Old Man: “I’m trying to use [Messenger Service] with my daughter. She can see me, she can hear me, and I can hear her, but I can’t see her. What’s wrong?”

(He then opens the grocery bag and it’s got a webcam, a mouse, and a bunch of random cables inside. He gestures to the random assortment of items as if we should be able to diagnose his problem from the junk.)

Coworker: “Sir, do you have your computer with you?”

Old Man: “Nope, what’s the problem?”

Coworker: “We really can’t figure out your issue from what you have brought.”

Old Man: “This is what I got; what’s the problem?”

Coworker: “It could be any number of things, really.”

Me: “Sir, we need your computer to even begin to help you with this.”

Old Man: “I’m trying to use [Messenger Service] with my daughter, and she can see me, she can hear me, and I can hear her, but I can’t see her. What’s the problem?”

Me: “Sir, this is like walking into a mechanic’s shop and saying your car is making a noise but not bringing the car.”

Old Man: “This is what I brought. What’s the problem?”

Me: “It’s not your car.”

(With that, he gathers up his bag of random junk and walks out of the building.)

Coworker: “It’s going to be one of those days, isn’t it?”

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Unfiltered Story #140389

, , , | Unfiltered | February 16, 2019

(We often offer a seasonal doughnut and currently have two that are “summer” themed; one of which has a gummy worm poking out of the center. It is one of my first shifts as a supervisor on this evening.)

The phone rings and I am told that the customer would like to speak to a manager.

Me: Thank you for calling [location], this is [my Name], how may I help you?

Caller: Yes, I came through your drive thru a few hours ago and ordered [promotional doughnut] and I was very disappointed with what I received.

Me: I’m so sorry to hear that, what was the problem with them?

Caller: Well, your picture on your menu showed a red gummy worm and all of the worms I recieved were orange!

(At this point, I am a little taken a back and start to think it was a prank call.)

Me: Well, we do offer the product in a variety of colors as the worms come in an assorted package.

Caller: I understand that, but I really am disappointed that all of the worms were orange!

(I am now debating whether  to offer the gentleman free doughnuts or to try and explain to him that this was an unforeseeable request, luckily at this moment my Assistant Manager walks in.)

Me: I see sir, if you’d like to speak to my Assistant Manager, he just arrived. I’m sure he’ll be able to help you.

(Sure enough, as this particular Assistant Manager is known for, the caller is given free doughnuts as replacement…. Even though there was no way for the drive thru employee to be able to read his mind and know what color gummy worm he would prefer.)

The Value Of Victory

, , , , , | Right | December 11, 2018

(I’m a manager at a clothing company that offers a lifetime guarantee on its products. The policy is pretty loose, and to accompany the policy we have the ability to make adjustments for “difficult” customers. It’s two minutes before close when a customer walks in.)

Customer: “Am I too late?”

Me: “No, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “I don’t want to return this; I just saw that it’s 50% off now, so I want to get the price adjusted.”

(She hands me a receipt, which I notice is over a year old.)

Me: “Ma’am, our policy for price adjustments is two weeks; this was purchased over a year ago.”

Customer: *snaps* “Yeah, but this is [Company], so I’ll just return it and buy it back.”

(Not in the mood for arguing, I begin to process the adjustment.)

Customer: *in a smart tone* “Are you having a good night?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. So, it looks like it’s the same price today as it was a year ago.”

Customer: “Um, no, I paid [current price plus tax].”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, well, it’s half off of the original.” *pulling out a calculator to show her the math* “So, half of [price] is—”

Customer: “YEAH, I KNOW! I CAN DO MATH IN MY HEAD!”

Me: “Okay, yes, so the extra was for taxes. Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about taxes.”

Customer: “YES, I KNOW THAT!”

Me: “All right, ma’am, sorry about that, but just for future reference we do price adjustments for up to two weeks.”

Customer: “I don’t care. I will just return whatever and repurchase it. This has been sitting in my dining room just like this for a year!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, have a great night!”

(Ah, the sweet taste of victory.)

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Deafly Offensive

, , , , , | Right | October 28, 2018

(I’m hard of hearing, and always have been. I usually have hearing aids, but since I can sign and read lips, I don’t always need them. An older Latino woman comes through my line.)

Customer: *something in a heavy accent and softly, while looking away from me*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m hard of hearing and I didn’t catch what you said.”

Customer: *what I heard* “I… coffee… roll… please.” *keeps looking away while speaking quietly*

Me: “I’m really sorry, ma’am, but I can’t hear you.”

(I point to my ears to emphasis my hearing loss.)

Customer: “Oh, are you deaf?”

Me: *pause* “Yes.”

(She up and goes to a neighboring register to someone who speaks fluent Spanish. My friend later tells me:)

Friend: “You know that Spanish lady?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Friend: “She asked me if you were [disabled slur], and then mentioned how you couldn’t hear her. She said she was offended by it.”

Me: “But I told her I can’t hear!”

(Really. It’s not like deafness is based on race or language.)

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Credited With The Sound Of Silence

, , , , | Working | April 19, 2018

(I’m getting ready to move two hours away and need to set up electricity for the new apartment I’m moving to. The power company at my new apartment is different than the one at my current apartment, so I call the new company to get an account set up.)

Representative: “You need power turned on at [date] for [address]; is this correct?”

Me: “Yep, you got it.”

Representative: “Okay, since you have never had an account with us, there will be a deposit.”

(Several seconds of silence follow as I’m hoping there will be a followup to his last sentence.)

Me: “Is that just because I’ve never had power with you before, or can you do like a credit check?”

Representative: “If you had let me FINISH, I would have said that you would have to pay a deposit assuming you fail a credit check.”

(Yes, he yelled the word “finish” and I’m pretty angry at how much of a jerk this guy is being.)

Me: “Then run my d*** credit. Are you running it yet? Are you finished talking? Is it credit check time? I’m assuming that you not talking means you are finished with your sentence. Of course, I thought that before, when you were quiet for five full seconds, but maybe I’m wrong. Go ahead… Run my credit.”

Representative: *a little bit nicer* “Um… Okay. I will go ahead and run your credit, now.”

(A few more seconds pass.)

Representative: “Okay. You do not have to pay a deposit. Your credit score is really good.”

Me: “Didn’t think I would need to pay one.”

Representative: “Your account is set up. I’m going to send you over to a survey to rate our conversation. Remember to rate me fairly based on the service I have provided today.”

(I rated him VERY fairly based on the service he provided.)

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