Some People Just Play House

, , , , , | Working | September 22, 2017

(My husband and I have bought a house. It is a show-home, and because of this, the builder has to keep it “on display” for six weeks after we close the deal. This happens on the day that we finally move in. We’ve been unpacking all day, and have decided to take a lunch break in the driveway. A car pulls up outside, a lady gets out, and she walks briskly past us up to the front door.)

Me: “Hello! Can we help you?”

Realtor: *stopping dead and staring at us* “What are you doing here?”

Me: “Having lunch.”

Realtor: “You can’t be here! Please leave.”

Husband: “Why would we do that?”

Realtor: “Well, for one thing, you’re trespassing. For another, I’m about to show this house to a client.”

Me: “I don’t think so.”

Realtor: “What do you mean?”

Me: “This is our house.”

Realtor: “EXCUSE me?”

Me: “This is OUR house. As in, we bought it, and we’re moving in today.”

Realtor: “WHAT? Nobody told me! I made arrangements several days ago for today’s showing!”

Husband: “Well, we signed the paperwork six weeks ago, so…”

Realtor: “This can’t be right. Are you sure you’re at the right place?”

Me: “Um, yes.”

Realtor: “…can I still show the house to my client?”

Husband: “What? Of course not!”

Realtor: “FINE!”

(She drove off in a very bad mood.)

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A Fallen Branch

, , , , | Working | September 18, 2017

(There has been a lot of anxiety in my office that our branch is in trouble. One of the vice presidents from the United States decides to pay us a visit to address our concerns.)

Vice President: “There is absolutely nothing to be worried about! Your branch is a valued member of the company. Here, I’ll show you. Here’s an organizational chart showing all of the branches.”

(We all stare at the chart and look at each other in disbelief. The vice president, not noticing anything wrong, beams at us. Finally, someone puts up his hand.)

Employee: “Um, Ms. [Vice President], our branch isn’t on that chart.”

Vice President: “What? Of course it is!”

Several Employees: “Really? Where is it, then?”

Vice President: “It’s right… um… oh.” *puts chart away, changes the subject*

(The branch closed several years later, putting a lot of people out of work.)

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A Sign Of A Bad Sale

, , , , | Working | September 15, 2017

(My husband, two teenage daughters, and I have decided to go couch shopping. First, we visit a local furniture shop. The shop’s entrance is at the back of the building and require us to go down a steep flight of stairs.)

Me: “Wow, it’s a bit tricky getting down these stairs.”

Salesman: “Well, THAT’S why there’s a sign that say, ‘Watch Your Step.’ Not that I’d expect a woman to pay attention to a sign, ha ha!”

(The four of us, which, if you’re keeping track, included THREE WOMEN [as well as a very feminist guy] all stared at him in disbelief. He didn’t make a sale that day, partly because of that remark, and partly because his store’s furniture was ugly and overpriced.)

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Keyboard Warriors Are Afraid Of Actual War

, , , , , | Right | September 15, 2017

(My mother used to be the head secretary for a union boss. [Boss] was always in the news, usually in a negative way, and he was extremely unpopular. Mum could depend on getting at least one call like this per day:)

Mum: “Good morning, [Union Office].

Angry Caller: “Is this the office of [Boss]?”

Mum: “Yes.”

Angry Caller: “You can tell that guy that he’s a f*****, and his mother was a w****, and if I ever see him, I’m going to—”

Mum: “Actually, he’s right here. You can tell him yourself. One moment, please.”

Angry Caller: *click*

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Unfiltered Story #93325

, , , | Unfiltered | September 7, 2017

I had just bought an SUV that had a brand of car command start that only has a few select stores that will deal with it in my city and no remote came with it. I went to a popular electronics stores I have bought the very laptop I’m typing this up on because I had excellent service then. I ask for the technician to look at my car and see if they have that remote in stock, which they don’t, so I order it in. The guy at the front desk tells me it will be in in 2-4 weeks. 4 weeks go by and I hear nothing. I figure something might have happened during shipping or something and I’m not in a super hurry to get this remote and I’m not really one for confrontation of any kind, so I don’t contact them. I also get really busy, no time between it being my work’s busy season and other commitments so another 6 weeks goes by, still nothing from them. I know they have my correct phone number. It’s getting close to winter time, which is really what I want it for so I can pre-start my car on those -30 degrees Celsius mornings. I stop by their shop after work. I tell the woman at the front my story and she checks their stock area and tells me that they do, in fact have it. Now I’m supposed to go to the back desk and schedule a time to bring my car in to program the remote. For some reason, even though he is the manager of that particular area, he doesn’t know what his guys’ schedules are, so I have to call back in 2 days time to properly schedule a time. I make the call and it’s scheduled to a time where I have only 5 minutes to spare after the drive between work and this place. So, no time to get any food, rest, etc. after my standing, manual labour job. Normally, this shouldn’t be an issue in a situation where you have a time booked for something that shouldn’t take too long because the guys doing it are professionals. I hand my car keys over to the guy at the back desk. He tells me I can sit at their kind of uncomfortable reclining chair set up near their desk to wait and “it shouldn’t take too long.” I sit down and start playing games on my phone. Half an hour goes by. I start to get hungry. There is nowhere within a 5 minute walk to get food to go, my wallet is in the car and besides, they’ll be done in a couple of minutes, right? An hour goes by. I have a splitting headache from sitting in an uncomfortable chair for so long and not being able to drink anything, my phone battery is close to dying and I haven’t seen anybody else go to the back desk and hand over keys, so why is my car taking so damn long? I also haven’t seen hide nor hair of the guy who took my keys. Then, after almost an hour and a half after handing my keys over, almost 3 months after purchase, I finally have a remote to command start my car! I bugged out of there so fast and was halfway home, after picking up food, before I realized he didn’t even tell me how to actually command start my car (It isn’t an obvious thing, I have to press and hold the panic button, release, then press and hold again. I figured it out after experimentation because no real manual came with it, either.) I cried the rest of the ride home from the stress of the work day, my headache and the hunger. The real kicker, I looked up how to program that remote myself and it would not have taken me anywhere near that long.

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