Keyboard Warriors Are Afraid Of Actual War

, , , , , | Right | September 15, 2017

(My mother used to be the head secretary for a union boss. [Boss] was always in the news, usually in a negative way, and he was extremely unpopular. Mum could depend on getting at least one call like this per day:)

Mum: “Good morning, [Union Office].

Angry Caller: “Is this the office of [Boss]?”

Mum: “Yes.”

Angry Caller: “You can tell that guy that he’s a f*****, and his mother was a w****, and if I ever see him, I’m going to—”

Mum: “Actually, he’s right here. You can tell him yourself. One moment, please.”

Angry Caller: *click*

Unfiltered Story #93325

, , , | Unfiltered | September 7, 2017

I had just bought an SUV that had a brand of car command start that only has a few select stores that will deal with it in my city and no remote came with it. I went to a popular electronics stores I have bought the very laptop I’m typing this up on because I had excellent service then. I ask for the technician to look at my car and see if they have that remote in stock, which they don’t, so I order it in. The guy at the front desk tells me it will be in in 2-4 weeks. 4 weeks go by and I hear nothing. I figure something might have happened during shipping or something and I’m not in a super hurry to get this remote and I’m not really one for confrontation of any kind, so I don’t contact them. I also get really busy, no time between it being my work’s busy season and other commitments so another 6 weeks goes by, still nothing from them. I know they have my correct phone number. It’s getting close to winter time, which is really what I want it for so I can pre-start my car on those -30 degrees Celsius mornings. I stop by their shop after work. I tell the woman at the front my story and she checks their stock area and tells me that they do, in fact have it. Now I’m supposed to go to the back desk and schedule a time to bring my car in to program the remote. For some reason, even though he is the manager of that particular area, he doesn’t know what his guys’ schedules are, so I have to call back in 2 days time to properly schedule a time. I make the call and it’s scheduled to a time where I have only 5 minutes to spare after the drive between work and this place. So, no time to get any food, rest, etc. after my standing, manual labour job. Normally, this shouldn’t be an issue in a situation where you have a time booked for something that shouldn’t take too long because the guys doing it are professionals. I hand my car keys over to the guy at the back desk. He tells me I can sit at their kind of uncomfortable reclining chair set up near their desk to wait and “it shouldn’t take too long.” I sit down and start playing games on my phone. Half an hour goes by. I start to get hungry. There is nowhere within a 5 minute walk to get food to go, my wallet is in the car and besides, they’ll be done in a couple of minutes, right? An hour goes by. I have a splitting headache from sitting in an uncomfortable chair for so long and not being able to drink anything, my phone battery is close to dying and I haven’t seen anybody else go to the back desk and hand over keys, so why is my car taking so damn long? I also haven’t seen hide nor hair of the guy who took my keys. Then, after almost an hour and a half after handing my keys over, almost 3 months after purchase, I finally have a remote to command start my car! I bugged out of there so fast and was halfway home, after picking up food, before I realized he didn’t even tell me how to actually command start my car (It isn’t an obvious thing, I have to press and hold the panic button, release, then press and hold again. I figured it out after experimentation because no real manual came with it, either.) I cried the rest of the ride home from the stress of the work day, my headache and the hunger. The real kicker, I looked up how to program that remote myself and it would not have taken me anywhere near that long.

IP Address:

Not The Photo-Perfect Day You Were Expecting

, , , , | Working | June 8, 2017

(This happened to my dad a long time ago. He and Mum had recently emigrated from Britain and didn’t know very many people in their new Canadian city, so when his boss invites him and Mum to Boss’s daughter’s wedding, it is a very nice surprise. Mum is thrilled by the invitation, and she pinches pennies so that she and Dad can afford decent clothes for the event as well as a babysitter for me.)

Boss: “Ah, [Dad], there you are! Here, you’ll need this.” *hands Dad a camera*

Dad: “What’s this for?”

Boss: “To take photos of the wedding and reception, of course.”

Dad: “But… I’m not a photographer. Didn’t you hire one?”

Boss: “Why pay some photographer good money when all you need is a camera and someone to use it?”

Dad: “But that means I’ll be leaving my wife alone for a large part of the day, and she doesn’t know anyone.”

Boss: “Oh, she’ll be fine.”

(Dad gave up at that point. Poor Mum had a miserable lonely day, since she was quite shy and no-one bothered to try to include her in their conversations. Dad did his best to take some nice photographs, but unbeknownst to him, the camera had jammed after the first couple of pictures. He didn’t realize this, because the camera wasn’t one with which he was familiar. So, because Boss was too cheap to pay a professional photographer, his daughter didn’t get any photos of her big day. I always wonder what she had to say to her father about that.)

Lt. Ripley Goes Shopping

, , , , , , , | | Right | October 28, 2010

Customer: “Do you have any wasp spray?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re currently out. Maybe [Other Store] has it.”

(The customer thanks me and walks away. Thirty minutes later I see him at the checkout with a Super Soaker, some lighters, and a one liter bottle of lighter fluid. I just stare at him in disbelief.)

Customer: “Wish me luck!”

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