Drink Of The Sinners!  

, , , | Right | August 11, 2019

(I work in a wine tasting room in a popular tourist town in Arizona. While I’m working there one afternoon, the following exchange happens.)

Middle-Aged Woman: “Do you sell any white infidel?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Middle-Aged Woman: “Yeah, white infidel! I love that stuff; it’s like crack. It’s the best!”

Me: “Do you mean white zinfandel?”

Middle-Aged Woman: “Yeah! That! Got any?”

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Unfiltered Story #146820

, , , | Unfiltered | April 9, 2019

We have a membership program that people pay $10 and get 5% off all purchases for a year. We used to be able to just look up to see if it was expired  but when we updated it last fall and we can not longer change the dates on our computer. We tell them when they get their card that they needed to keep it with them when they come in so we know it is not expired.

Me: Okay just finished up with that. And remember to bring it with you every time you come in so you can get the discount.
Customer: I can’t do that. If I did that with every card I was given my wallet would be over flowing.
Me: Ma’am we need you to have it so we know it is not expired.
Customer’s  friend: Well how can I use it if she has the card. You have to be able to look it up.
Me: We can look up if it exists but I will have no way to know if it is expired. I can not change it on this computer to say so. Only the main computer in a completely different store can change it. That’s why we ask that you have it so we know it is still good.
Customer: Well that is punishing your loyal customers.
Me: I’m sorry but I can’t do anything from this computer

They then leave in a huff. The 5% doesn’t even cover for tax please calm down and don’t harass the employees

No-Fees Cheese Please

, , , | Right | February 25, 2019

(I work at a wine-tasting room that offers a cheese plate to pair with the wine. There is also a boutique.)

Customer: “This card is five dollars? Is there anything cheaper? That’s so expensive. I really need a card for my sister-in-law.”

Me: “I’m sorry, no, they are all around five dollars.”

Customer: “Ugh, okay, I’ll get it, anyway. Um, is there any way I could get a cheese plate for free? You wouldn’t do that, would you? For free? Free cheese?” *points outside to her previously-purchased cheese plate* “My friend gave all of our cheese to the people next to us.”

Me: “Um, if you wanted another full plate it would be $6, but if you just wanted… a couple pieces… I could do that for you.”

Customer: “Oh, my Lord! God bless you; thank you so much!”

(I bring her a generous plate of cheese, considering how desperate she seems.)

Customer: “Oh, let me save you a plate!” *throws the cheese into the gift bag I just wrapped her “expensive” card in and happily walks away*

(My coworker and I exchanged confused looks. The customer sat back down outside and chatted with her friend for another fifteen minutes, in the 95-degree weather.)

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Needs All That Sweet To Counter Her Bitterness

, , , , , | Right | November 5, 2018

(The winery for which I work is very small, but serves a wide variety of wine from our own private label — whites, reds, blushes, fruits, as well as dessert wines and ports. Please note that there are MANY wineries in my state, most of which serve their own private labels, as well. Two women walk in and sit at our service bar.)

Guest #1: “I would like a bottle of [Other Private Label] Chardonnay.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but we only serve our own private label.”

Guest #1: “And what is that?”

Me: *not sure how she missed the business name, which is prominently displayed everywhere* “[Our Place] Winery. We make all of our own wines on site.” *hands her a menu*

Guest #1: “Well, I want something semi-sweet, like a Chardonnay.”

Me: “We do have a Chardonnay, but it is a dry, full-bodied wine, not so much a sweet or semi-sweet.”

Guest #1: *to [Guest #2]* “Ugh. I don’t know why we came here. They don’t know what they’re doing.” *to me* “Well, what do you have that’s semi-sweet and white?”

Me: “Let’s take a look at the menu.”

(I take a few moments to describe our semi-sweet and sweet whites, from driest to sweetest, including flavour descriptions.)

Guest #1: “Well, I guess I have to get something. Let’s start with that first one you mentioned and work our way through to the sweetest. Just a little bit, because I might not like it. I don’t know why you don’t have [Other Winery] wines here.”

(I go to the cooler and pull out the first three wines she mentions.)

Guest #1: “NO! Don’t pour them all at once! If I like one, I won’t want to taste the rest!”

Me: “That’s fine; we only pour one tasting at a time. I’m just pulling out the bottles to make it easier.” *pours first tasting [Guest #1] picked out*

Guest #1: “This is awful. Purely awful.”

Me: “That’s okay. You don’t have to like all of them. I’m sure we’ll find something for you!”

Guest #2: *trying tasting* “This is pretty good. Can I get a glass of this?”

Guest #1: “How can you even drink that swill?” *tries tasting the other wine* “Oh, God, this is even worse! Do you not know how to make wine?”

Me: “I’m sorry you don’t like that one. Is it too sweet?”

Guest #1: “It tastes like vinegar and awful!”

Me: “Let’s try this one. It’s very sweet.”

Guest #1: *trying tasting* “It’s better, but still not sweet. I don’t think you understand sweet. I guess the sweetest one will have to do. Just pour me a glass, and I’ll deal with it.”

(I pour the glasses for [Guest #1] and [Guest #2], and give them some crackers to enjoy with their wine. I come back and check on them a few minutes later.)

Guest #1: “I figured out if I pour all the wines together, they taste halfway decent. Has anyone ever thought to do that?”

Me: “Oh, yes, our guests make cocktails from the wine all the time. In fact, I have one guest who likes to mix [dessert wine] with [specialty wine].”


Me: “Yes. It’s very sweet; some folks compare it to a ‘syrupy sweetness.’”

Guest #1: “Give me that.”

(I pour her a tasting, which she gulps down.)


Guest #2: *samples tasting* “Oh, God, that is strong.”


Guest #2: “You asked for ‘semi-sweet,’ not ‘sweet as h***’!”

Guest #1: “I’m going to buy a bottle of that, because I’m sure as h*** never coming back to this place again, with their vinegar swill crap!”

(After complaining about all of our semi-sweets, insulting our product, mixing six different whites together, and finally enjoying our dessert wine, she decided to leave behind her entire glass of wine after purchasing one of our most expensive — and sweetest — bottles of wine. I guess there’s no pleasing some folks!)

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In An Entitled State

, , , , , | Right | October 27, 2018

(Our wine tasting room also has a retail store. All purses we have are well over $230. It should be noted that our wine club membership gives a 10% discount on retail. A husband and wife come in, and go straight to the retail section without tasting any wines.)

Customer #1: “Just these items, thanks.”

(I start to ring up the items. The husband and wife start talking to each other about shipping the items, a single purse and a t-shirt with our logo on it.)

Me: “Oh, where are you guys visiting from? You would like these items shipped?”

Customer #2: “Montana. We don’t pay sales tax when shipping, right? We do not have sales tax in Montana.”

Me: “Yes, unfortunately, you do pay sales tax, since we are shipping it from here in California. I’m sorry about that.”

Customer #2: “That’s ridiculous! I have never paid the sales tax when shipping items from [This Town]. I won’t pay it.”

(The customer continues to berate me about paying sales tax. My manager hears this from her office and comes out to help.)

Manager: “Yes, I’m sorry, but you do have to pay the local sales tax. Unless you had something shipped from a warehouse or something from another place, you will always pay the local sales tax from where your purchased items are being shipped.”

Customer #2: *looking extremely confused* “But why?

Manager: “I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is.”

Customer #2: “Well, fine. Can you just discount it so we don’t have to pay the sales tax? We’re from Montana; we don’t pay sales tax.”

Manager: “Um, no, I’m sorry. We cannot discount it.”

Customer #2: “Well, do you have some sort of club that has discounts?”

Me: “Yes, our wine club has a 10% discount on re—”

Customer #2: “NO, NO, NO YOU’RE NOT LISTENING TO ME! Do you have a club with discounts?”

Me: “Yes, our club members get discounts on retail and wine.”

(The husband continues to interrupt me and finally decides to not purchase anything. His wife looks at me with a disgusted look on her face.)

Customer #1: “Ugh, hold these until tomorrow. I will think about it.”

(She leaves without giving me her name or number or any reference to hold the items.)

Me: *to my manager* “You’re spending over $300 on two items, yet you’re mad about some tax? Or cannot pack it on the plane? “

Manager: *speechless*

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