Won’t Stand For It!

, , , , | Right | May 9, 2019

(I am close to the end of my shift in the middle of August. A woman comes up and slams some lunch meat and a receipt on the counter.)

Customer: “This meat has gone bad; I demand a refund.”

(I glance at the receipt and see that it was purchased at nine am, well over six hours ago, and I recognize it as a log I freshly cut this morning. I also notice the seal sticker that we use to close the bags has been undisturbed.)

Me: “This package seems fine. What makes you think it’s gone bad?”

(As I speak, I pulled the package closer to me for a better look.)

Me: “Oh, it’s hot!

Customer:Yes! It’s been in my trunk while I was at work.”

Me: “Ma’am, I cannot refund this. It was fine when it left the store.”

Customer: “So, you don’t stand behind your product?”

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Because All Arabs Are Terrorists, Apparently

, , , , , , | Working | November 21, 2017

(I work overnight at a call center that is locked a few hours before my shift starts. We aren’t given keys, so we have to knock and wait for a coworker to open the door. This particular night it gets cold rather suddenly, and I wrap my scarf around my head because I haven’t brought my hat with me, but my face is clearly visible. I knock on the door and one of my coworkers comes around the corner. Her eyes go wide and she runs away as if terrified. I’m perplexed by this, and I knock again and get no response. I get my phone out and call the office number.)

Coworker: “Hello, th-thank you for calling [Company]. How can I h-help you?”

Me: “[Coworker], I’m waiting at the door. Could you come unlock it? I’m extremely cold.”

Coworker: “Oh, my God. That was you?

Me: “Of course it’s me. Who did you think?”

Coworker: “You look like a terrorist! Don’t scare me like that! Why do you have that terrible thing on your head?”

Me: “Are you serious? It’s cold. I’m wearing a scarf. You think a scarf makes someone a terrorist?”

Coworker: “Yes! You look like one of those Arabs!”

Me: *counting silently to ten* “[Coworker], even if I had darker skin and wore a proper hijab, I wouldn’t be a terrorist. But how you saw my pasty white face and plaid fleece scarf as Arabic is beyond me. Now open the d*** door.”

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An Animal Lover And A Hugger

, , , , , | Related | August 8, 2017

(I work as a ticket collector for a public farm. They have a play area for children, with tons of attractions like a corn maze and bouncy castles, and of course, farm animals. The animals are caged in so they can’t injure the guests or vice versa. A teenager and their father comes up to the ticket booth. The father doesn’t seem to speak English well.)

Dad: “Can… Can you… hug the chickens?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, could you please repeat that?”

Teen: *cuts in, embarrassed* “Can visitors interact with the farm animals?”

Me: “No, sorry. They’re behind a fence for the visitors’ safety.”

Teen: “Oh.” *in Chinese to the dad* “I don’t want to go if I can’t hug the chickens.”

(We have two pet chickens in the entire farm. There are petting zoos for a reason.)

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