I work in produce. I hear some loud banging noises on the sales floor. I go look and find an elderly Asian man with a coconut in a plastic bag SMASHING IT ON THE WOODEN TABLE!

Me: “Excuse me, sir, can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “No, no, I good. Last time I buy coconut, I get home, it rotten inside. I make sure this one not rotten.”

At this point, he split it open and the coconut water spilled all over the floor, making a huge puddle. HE POUNDED IT AGAIN, and then he walked away with the broken coconut in the bag.

We had to clean up the mess he made, but he walked away satisfied with his coconut that we could’ve opened for him without a mess.

Related:
Your Experiment Is (Coco)Nuts

I started working nights at this gas station around three years ago. I quickly learned that if I wasn’t tough, the customers in the area would try to abuse me to no end, so I developed a thick skin pretty quickly and often can come off as rude or uncaring to some, but I try to be fair to all.

A known problem customer enters the store.

Customer #1: “Hey, man, can I get a [Brand] [flavor] cigar?”

Me: “Sure.”

I turn and casually grab the cigar and scan it.

Me: “That’ll be $1.26.”

Customer #1: “Yeah, okay, dude.”

He places $1.25 on the counter and reaches for the cigar. I quickly pull the cigar back and he snaps his head up, looking PISSED.

Customer #1: “The f***? Give me my cigar, man!”

Me: “Yeah, that’s not enough, man. You’re short by a cent.”

Yes, I know it’s only a penny. I know most people would just let him have it to be rid of him. But as said earlier, he is a known problem customer and this is the fourth time he’s pulled this trick this week, let alone how many times he’s done something similar this month, so I’m at the end of my rope with him.

Customer #1: “F*** off, man. Just give me the friggin’ cigar and let me leave.”

Me: “Not until you pay full price.”

The customer then starts ranting about how I’m being a child, it’s only a penny, the other guy lets him do it, etc. I don’t say anything and let him vent for about two minutes until I notice a second customer waiting to actually buy something behind him.

Me: “Look. I don’t have time to play this game. I have other people waiting.”

I put the cigar back and push his money across the counter back to him.

Me: “We’re done here. I’m not serving you tonight.”

Then, I wave [Customer #2] forward. [Customer #1] sputters for a bit.

Customer #1: “MAN, F*** YOU!” *Storms out*

Customer #2: “Uh… Will you be okay? He doesn’t seem stable.”

Me: “I’ll be fine. It’s not the first time he’s acted like this. He’ll just leave and be back tomorrow.”

I was very wrong. About an hour later, he peels back into our lot and storms into our store.

Customer #1: “You’re gonna give me that cigar. And you know what? A pack of [Cigarettes], too. No, make it a carton, you c***. And I ain’t paying for S***, ‘CAUSE F*** YOU, B****. 

Slightly taken aback, I quickly hit the silent alarm to alert the cops.

Me: “Uh, yeah, no, that’s not happening. You need to leave before the cops get here.”

Customer #1: “Call them, you p***y. You can’t prove anything.”

[Customer #1] proceeded to run around the counter and try to shove me. I’m 6’7”. I don’t move easily. He quickly gave up and grabbed a couple of packs he could reach and ran out of the store. He got into his car just as the cops were pulling in. I signalled for them to follow him and they peeled out of the lot.

I later found out from one of the officers that he crashed his car and then tried to assault one of the officers when they arrested him. I think it will be pretty open and shut with our camera footage, but he wants to fight it in court.

A couple of months later, I was sitting in court waiting for him to show up when his lawyer got a call that he had been arrested the night before for assaulting a different gas station employee. Old habits die hard, I guess.

I deliver groceries to customers in my van. We have this one particular troublesome customer who has complained many times, mostly about us parking in her driveway. For some reason, any vehicle in her driveway sends her absolutely ballistic and results in our call center getting a flood of complaints. None of us understand it, as she doesn’t own a car herself, and her cul-de-sac has plenty of room so we wouldn’t be blocking anyone else in; she’s just chosen that particular hill to die on.

Today, is it storming heavily: wind, rain, localised flooding, you name it. I’m already wet and in a bad mood for my shift when I realise who I have next, and my heart sinks. I pull up to her very long driveway, look at the weather and say to myself:

Me: “F*** it.”

I park in her driveway, get out of the van, and am about to start unloading her groceries when I hear some shouting. It must have truly been cacophonous for me to hear it over the wind and rain. I look up and see a fuming red face leaning out of an upstairs window.

Customer: “How dare you! Get your van off my driveway! Now! Get it off!”

Me: “Ma’am! I am from [Supermarket] and I have a delivery for you!”

Customer: “Get your van off my driveway! You are forbidden to park on my driveway!”

Yes, she uses the word “forbidden.” Trying to prevent her personal meltdown, I drive the van back up to the entrance to her driveway, a good thirty metres from her front door (it’s a rather rich area!).

“Fine!” I think to myself. If she doesn’t want me on her driveway, then I shall do as I am told. I exit the van, to see the customer has now come downstairs and opened her front door, no doubt expecting me to carry each heavy box the thirty metres to her front door.

Nope.

Her face, amazingly, turns an even deeper shape of red as I start to unload all her groceries right there at the door of my van, all in plastic bags but still exposed to the elements. I can hear her roaring and complaining but due to the distance and weather I can’t make out any words, and honestly, I don’t care. 

I quickly finish unloading the groceries, sarcastically tip my hat to the screaming mass of customer still standing at her front door, and drive off.

I finish my deliveries and get back to the supermarket at the end of the day, and my manager approaches me.

Manager: “I got a complaint about you today.”

Me: “Let me guess; driveway lady?”

Manager: “The very same.”

Me: “What did she say?”

Manager: “A lot of swearing. She wants you fired.”

Me: “Am I?”

Manager: “No. Instead, I told her she’s no longer a welcome customer with us and has been blacklisted, and she will have to come in and get her own d*** groceries from now on.”

And all because she couldn’t handle our van being on her huge driveway!

Tell your story today! Ever been able to maliciously comply with a bad customer? Share it with the NAR community so we can all enjoy it too!

I realize I don’t have sour cream for dinner, so I decide I’ll pop in and grab some on the way home. I am standing there, considering the sizes for way too long, and I finally get what I need and turn to go to checkout. There is a woman standing there, staring at me.

Woman: “Where’d you get that?”

I think she is talking about the sour cream and I show her. She huffs and points at my face.

Woman: “No, your mask!”

I am wearing a purple raven mask. I love ravens and they’re on my family crest. It’s really pretty.

Me: “Oh, online.”

Woman: *Semi-demanding* “Can I see it?” 

My first thought is to be a smart aleck and say, “See with your eyes, not with your hands,” but I control myself.

Me: “I’m not talking off my mask.”

Woman: *Whining* “C’mon!” 

I decide I’ll use logic on her. That may have been a stupid choice.

Me: “I’m not taking off my mask in public so a stranger can handle it and then putting it back on.”

Woman: *Yelling* “You’re just being selfish!”

And then she grabbed at my mask! The nut tried to snatch the mask off my face! I staggered back and nearly fell into the dairy case. All I saw were flailing arms. I got out of reach and the dairy guy came running over.

The woman kept yelling that I stole the mask from her; she was wearing a paper mask. The dairy guy got the manager there.

She kept insisting the mask was hers. The manager suggested watching the CCTV and she got real quiet. Then, the manager told her to leave and not come back. I got my sour cream. Weirdo.

Related:
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 3
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 2
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked

I work at a satellite TV company. I take a call from a customer who can’t be more than about eight years old.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Satellite TV Company]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, um, we can’t watch TV. It says, ‘Searching for signal.’ My parents don’t really speak English, so they asked me to call.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be happy to try to help you fix that. Did anything happen to your dish that would have caused it to move?”

Customer: “Well, my daddy hit it with a stick.”