I am at the cashier desk servicing customers. I have already served this girl a bus card, and while she is still hanging around, I don’t think anything of it; customers often hang around while friends are getting their cards recharged. I keep working my way through a line about five deep, and when I’m done, I notice that the girl and her boyfriend are still waiting off to the side, nowhere near a register and clearly not a part of a line.

I smile, and ask:

Me: “Did you guys need anything else?” 

Girl: “Yeah, these jelly beans!”

Me: “Great, I’m happy to serve you here! But just for future reference, we do have clearly marked lines for registers. I’m sorry, I didn’t think you—”

She cuts me off and says rather snootily:

Girl: “Well, we didn’t know! No need to be so rude about it!”

I’m perplexed as it’s quite clear, especially at the moment with social distancing stickers on the floor and the plexiglass around the registers where the line would be, and I didn’t think I had been rude. 

Me: “O-oh… um… that will be $2.99… it’s just… I had no idea you were in the line, and for quicker service, being in the line is best! I’m sorry for the wait.”

They walk away and I think that is that. As I go to serve another customer, I hear a thwack but don’t think anything of it.

Coworker: “They just threw a jelly bean at you.”

I blinked and turned around, and sure enough, there was a jelly bean on the ground. I was a little ticked at this, as it could have hit a customer, but ultimately found it hilarious.

I work at an amusement park known for tiny buildable bricks and having everything be awesome. I’m a shift lead in the retail department. One of my employees comes to the back and asks me for help.

Employee: “There is a guy who wants to do a return, and it’s a lot.”

The customer has a bag that is FULL of build-sets of all different kinds, ones we don’t even carry in our small store. The customer hands me his “receipt”, which is a printout of an order form from the company’s retail site. As we are a theme park, that site has nothing to do with us.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m not going to be able to process this return for you today. You’ll have to go to a [Brick Store] location or return them by mail. The closest brick and mortar store would be down in Fashion Valley, but there is one downtown if you’re continuing your vacation up there.”

Customer: “What do you mean? You’re a [Brick Store]; return these.”

Me: “While you’re technically right, we’re just licensed to sell these brick products. We’re not owned by the company, so these items you’ve brought to return wouldn’t even be in our system.”

Customer: “You’re kidding me, right? No. You’re going to return these. I called and they said that I could.”

Me: “Sir, I don’t know what to tell you. I can’t return these.”

The customer becomes irate, grabbing products out of the bag and throwing them at me and at my employee, who has been silently observing this whole time.

Customer: *Screaming* “Call your supervisor!”

While I’m ducked behind the counter, I happily oblige while simultaneously radioing for security.

My supervisor and security arrive at the same time, and the customer gets red in the face and spits everywhere as he’s yelling that I am refusing him service.

My supervisor starts to get mad at me until I tell her to look at his receipt. She then starts giggling to herself once she sees it and neatly folds it and hands it back to the customer.

Supervisor: “Sir, this receipt is not from the same company that owns this park. Since you’ve chosen to harass our park employees and ruin other guests’ experiences, I’d like you to follow me so we can get your paperwork filled out.”

Customer: “Paperwork?”

Supervisor: “Yes, I’m banning you from this park.”

As the customer is being escorted out by park security and my supervisor, I turn to my employee.

Me: “Sorry for that fiasco, but well done for doing the right thing and getting me. I would have hated for you to deal with that on your own.”

Employee: *Shrugs* “I’m just trying to figure out why he lugged that big bag to the top of the park instead of trying to return it at the giant retail store at the entrance.”

I work in a hotel. One day, I help a coworker out by agreeing to work a morning shift. That should be easy.

Eight am rolls around and I get a noise complaint. Wonderful. I look up the room and it is a mom with a bunch of kids. Even more wonderful. I don’t want to deal with this or yell at a mom at eight in the morning.

Then, I check the profile closer. They were put in a handicap room since it was bigger. I go upstairs and knock on the door. Mom answers.

Me: *In a very concerned voice* “Is everyone okay in there?”

Mom: *Confused* “Everyone is fine.”

Me: “I’m relieved to hear that! The front desk got noise complaints about the room, but since it is a handicap room, I thought the thudding noises described meant that someone had fallen over. Thank you for clearing things up!”

I turned away, knowing that Mom immediately got what was up, and after she closed the door, I heard her say, “You kids have to be quiet!”

There were no more complaints about that room.

I’m working at my store’s service desk when a literally dirty old guy walks up with some opened light bulbs. He’s muttering to himself for a minute or so.

Customer: “I want to return them.”

Naturally, he has no receipt.

Me: “We’re normally not supposed to do anything with opened bulbs, but I can replace them if you want?”

Customer: “Your return policy is communism!”

He takes the bulbs and shambles away, muttering to himself. About an hour later, he comes back with the bulbs and a half dozen cans of cat food off the shelves.

Customer: *Scowling* “Is this good enough?!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, all I can do is replace the bulbs.”

Customer: “WELL, YOU CAN KEEP THE SON OF A B**** AND STICK IT UP YOUR A**!”

He threw all of the items at me. I’ve been called a lot of things and had various items thrown at me, but this is still the only time I’ve been told to stick stuff up my a**.

He missed, by the way.

I’m in line at a gas station where I’m a regular customer, waiting to pay for my gas and a few other items. The station has two cash registers served by the same line. Usually, only one register is open, but if there are a lot of people in line, another employee will open the second register to help clear the line.

When I get in line, only the first register is open. I wait patiently, with three or four other customers behind me. When I’m next in line for the register, an employee sees the line and opens the second register, calling for the next person in line.

I start to step over, and then a woman at the back of the line of customers SPRINTS to the register. I see her coming and take two long steps to make sure I get to the register before her. I place my own items on the counter and use my body to block her from reaching past me to put her own items on the counter. This makes her mad.

Woman: *Screaming like a banshee* “I WAS HERE FIRST! YOU CUT ME OFF! GET OUT OF MY WAY!”

I turn to the woman, calmly point out where the back of the line is, and turn back to the cashier. The woman continues shrieking, and the cashier and I both roll our eyes at her behavior.

As I reach for my wallet to pay, something slams into the back of my head, hard enough that I have to brace myself against the counter for a few seconds to make sure I’m not seriously injured. When I know I’m okay, I turn around to see the woman with an unopened but dented aluminum pop can in her hand.

Practically shaking with rage, I make a conscious effort to restrain myself from punching her and I pull my phone out of my pocket. As I dial and begin explaining the situation to the person on the other end of my call, the woman realizes what is going on and flees the store. I finish telling the 911 dispatcher what happened, including a description of the woman’s car while I watch her get in and speed out of the parking lot.

Two police officers arrive, and I give my official statement to them. Other customers and the employees also provide statements, and the store manager agrees to hand over the footage from the store’s security cameras.

I agree to press assault charges against the woman, and the store also presses charges for shoplifting — she took her items without paying — and for driving off without paying for her fuel. After giving my statement, I accept an ambulance ride to the hospital for a concussion evaluation and am diagnosed with a minor concussion.

A week after the assault, I go back to the hospital for a follow-up exam and am given a clean bill of health. I take all of the paperwork from the ambulance ride and my two exams to the county courthouse and file a civil lawsuit against the woman for the bills.

The woman chooses to fight her various criminal charges but is found guilty on all counts at her court trial. After declaring the sentence, the judge also rules in my favor in my civil lawsuit and awards me full compensation for my medical bills resulting from the woman’s assault.

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