Next Time We Know Where To Shove Those Pancakes

, , , , , | Right | August 1, 2018

(My family and I are at a popular restaurant on Mother’s Day — a Sunday — so the restaurant is quite busy, and there is a thirty-minute wait. Finally, we are seated, and then we see why there is such a long wait. There is a family who is taking up four tables. There are six kids, and five adults, but they do not need four tables. As we sit down, we hear them order. They are ordering the biggest and most time-consuming meals in the restaurant, with a ridiculous amount of sides. [Waitress #1] is already overwhelmed by the amount of people. She eventually brings all their food out and tries to get our drink order. Before she can finish, the mother from the other table calls her over.)

Mother: “Excuse me, all of our orders are wrong! I want you to take them all back and remake them the right way, and get us the right food this time!”

Waitress #1: “What is wrong with your food?”

Mother: “They all are cold, half are wrong, this one is undercooked, this one is burnt, and that one just looks plain nasty. It’s all just wrong!”

(She goes on for about five more minutes before she demands ALL of their meals are taken back and remade. At this point, half of their food is already eaten. It’s clear what they are doing now. The waitress is stressing even more and begins tearing up.)

Waitress #1: “Ma’am, you already have eaten half of your meals; I can’t possible take them back now—”

Mother: “Shut up. Take them back. We are not paying and waiting this long to get s***ty food! Take. It. All. Back. NOW!”

Waitress #1: “I’ll see what I can do.”

(A few minutes later, she comes back with their orders remade. Because of this, we still have yet to get our drinks. As soon as the food is placed on the table, there is another problem.)

Mother: “Umm, no. My son ordered the strawberry banana pancakes. Those are not strawberry banana. I don’t know what those… things are.”

Waitress #1: “Those are definitely strawberry ban—”

Father: “Stop. If my wife says they are wrong, then they are wrong. Go get the right pancakes, now!”

(She sighs and takes another half-eaten meal to bring a new one back. We have ordered our food, but have not gotten it yet because the family next to us keeps sending more and more food back. Soon, the manager comes out and tells them they can’t order any more food. They get irritated and complain, but it does nothing. [Waitress #1] comes out again. It’s obvious she has been crying.)

Mother: “Hey, you! Our drinks are wrong, too. Bring us back all new ones. Oh, and you got my son’s pancakes wrong again.”

([Waitress #1] has had enough of their s*** like everyone else has.)

Waitress #1: “I already brought you your pancakes!”

(She walks off without listening to anything else and rubs her head. A tear rolls down her face. We have our food now, and they finish theirs soon after. We think it is over, but it’s not even close. At this point, their brat kids have destroyed the table and gotten food all over the floor. They are also being extremely loud and obnoxious. Everyone has asked countless times for the kids to calm down, but it is either ignored or a rude remark is said and nothing is done. Soon, the manager comes out again and hands them their check. This just makes the mother even angrier.)


Manager: “I can’t do that! You got the right foo—”

Father: “Just listen to her!”

(The manager storms off and sends [Waitress #2] to give them their new check. They get four meals and all their drinks off the check. It still isn’t good enough.)

Father: “Of course, you forgot the military discount. Incompetence.”

(He tosses the check onto the table into the smeared mess. [Waitress #1] comes back and takes the check. Their final price is $80.32. They all scoff, pay, and leave in a rush. They don’t leave a tip, but they leave a huge mess. Both waitresses come to our table and look somewhat relieved.)

Waitress #1: “I would like to thank you guys for not being like that last family.”

Waitress #2: “I can’t believe people actually do stuff like that! They just took so much food and money from us. I don’t know why my boss didn’t just kick them out…”

Waitress #1: “I am so sorry for that and the huge inconvenience.”

My Mother: “You don’t have to apologize for anything. It’s not your fault a**holes like that are allowed in restaurants.”

My Father: “I would like to apologize on behalf of all military men like that. They give us all a bad name, and we’re not all like that f****** d**k.”

(The waitress started to cry again and my mother got up and hugged her. She thanked my dad for his service and thanked us all for being so kind. We paid and left a $30 tip for what that woman had to go through. Later, we found out the family had quite the bad reputation in our town for trying to screw restaurants out of money and food, then leaving huge messes and never tipping. People like that should not be allowed in restaurants.)

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She Came HIGH-ly Recommended

, , , , , | Working | July 30, 2018

(I work in the deli at a grocery store and decide to move out of state. I have lost touch with my one-time best friend because she got into drugs and I wasn’t comfortable with that. I decide to come back on vacation to see family, and I go back to the grocery store to say hi to people I used to work with. My ex-manager spots me and hurries over.)

Ex-Manager: “What is wrong with your friend?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Ex-Manager: “She put in an application, and since she put you down as a reference, we hired her.”

Me: “I haven’t seen her in about a year. What happened?”

Ex-Manager: “She said she cut herself on a slicer, but we checked the camera and she deliberately put her finger on a running blade. When we showed her the video, she said she wanted to see what would happen.”

Me:Wow. Well, she was probably high.”

Ex-Manager: “HIGH? She did drugs?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s why we parted ways. How did she even pass the drug test?”

Ex-Manager: “I don’t know. It came back negative. You never said she was on drugs!”

Me: “Maybe you should have called when she put me down as a reference.”

Ex-Manager: “We didn’t think it was necessary, since she’s your friend.”

Me: “Then, what’s the point of asking for references if you aren’t going to use them?”

(My ex-manager kept telling me I should have told her about the friend’s drug problem and couldn’t understand why I didn’t magically know she was trying to get a job there.)

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Giving You A Good Grilling

, , , , | Right | July 30, 2018

(I work in a fast food restaurant. A regular customer comes in and orders a couple of combo meals. I tell her it will take a few minutes because the meat is cooking. I’m taking another customer’s order, and all of a sudden, the regular customer interrupts us.)

Customer: “Other people are getting their orders! Where’s mine?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Our grill is backed up with orders, and the reason other people are getting their orders first is because it’s ice cream. It doesn’t take as long as hot food.”

Customer: *rolls eyes* “Fine.”

(A couple minutes roll by and I hear shouting.)

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to wait ten g**d*** minutes for my food!”

(Then she throws fries — yes, her own precious fries — at my coworker. My baffled coworker tries to pick up the fries, but the woman picks up the fries and throws them again! She then runs to me — while I am taking another order — and shouts.)

Customer: “I’m going to call corporate! I’m serious; I will call them!”

(She left with her food, a bunch of shocked people staring after her. She’s still a regular. And she acts like nothing ever happened.)

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Washing Yourself Free From Physical Assault

, , , | Legal | July 29, 2018

(I’m working at an all-new car wash in my hometown, which becomes rather popular very quickly. At the very end of the car wash are some really loud blow dryers, a little traffic light which indicates that the customer can start the engine again and drive off, and a safety light barrier, which shuts down the conveyor belt, if the car is not moving. This should prevent the next car to be pushed into the one standing in the exit. It is a really busy Saturday. My coworkers and I have already washed about 300 cars, when suddenly the conveyor belt stops moving. I am standing at the control desk, which gets the cars moving, so I immediately turn around, and rush down the whole aisle along the conveyor belt. The rest of the car wash is still doing its business, e.g. high-pressure washers and such. Upon reaching the car, which interrupts the safety light barrier, a tall, middle-aged men gets out of his white SUV to inspect why he isn’t moving anymore. I raise my voice to drown out the blow dryers right next to us.)


(I have to be loud; otherwise, you cannot understand anyone in there.)

Customer: “STOP THE F*** SHOUTING AT ME, YOU F****** A**HOLE!”



(The customer gets back in his car and drives off onto our vacuum yard right next to the car wash. I get back to the control desk and proceed with my business. The conveyor belt is running again. Suddenly, the customer makes his way into the pre-wash section, locks his eyes with mine, starts to swing his fists around and glares at me with pure hatred. He’s coming to get me. But one of my coworkers and my boss block his way.)

Boss: “Sorry, sir, what’s the problem? I’m the manager, right here.”

Customer: “F*** you! You should f****** know who you hire!”

(The customer grabs my boss by his arms and wants to move him out of the way by pure force. My coworker, a big but strong man, tackles the angry customer to the ground, gets him back up, and literally throws him out of the pre-wash section.)

Coworker: *to me* “None of your business anymore.”

Me: “I owe you lunch.”

(Afterwards the customer called the police, stated that he was assaulted, and threatened us with legal trouble. We showed the officers the incident on tape, and they left with a laugh.)

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The Key To Pressing Charges

, , , , , | Legal | July 28, 2018

(I am a broke university student, driving almost every weekend to my parents house to do laundry as it is cheaper than laundromats. My old car is so rusty I am sure it will fail its next biannual mandatory safety inspection. I’ve just gotten into my car, searching the USB drive with my music on it, and I hear someone honking. I know parking spaces are sparse in my neighborhood, so I quickly continue searching as I presume he only wants to let me know he’s there waiting for my parking spot. Not a minute later the driver, a man from my house, is knocking on my window.)

Me: *cranking down my window* “Hi. I’m driving away in a minute. I just need to search something quickly.”

Man: “Hurry up! I don’t have all day.”

(This angers me, so I take my bag, get out of the car and lock it.)

Me: “You know what? I think I’m just going to drive tomorrow morning. Have a nice evening.”

Man: “WHAT?! No, there’s no other parking space right now! Get back in your car and get lost.”

Me: *looking at my watch* “Considering the time of day I don’t think there’s going to be another one soon, either. You better search elsewhere. Bye!”

(I go home and cool down. The next morning I get to my car and find it with profanities scratched into all four sides of it, and quite a few dents ranging from small to almost a hole. I call the police and tell them what happened. They come quickly; I show them to the neighbor and they confront him about it.)

Man: *grinning* “Oh, no! I’d never do such a thing.”

Police: *pointing at his key visible at a table near the entrance* “Do you mind if we take a look at that key right there?”

(He reluctantly handed them the key and, sure enough, it still had visible traces of my car’s paint on it. They took our statements and I continued my day. A few days later the guy’s lawyer contacted me, asking if I’d be willing to drop the charges if he paid for the repairs. I told him the damages are too severe for partial repairs and my mechanic thought the car needed a full bodywork and paint job to rectify the damages. He agreed and I took the car to my mechanic who, besides repairing the damages, also did some smaller, necessary repairs for free as they don’t add up considering the amount of work involved. My car passed its next safety inspection with flying colors. So, thanks for being a d**k! It really helped.)

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