Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back To The Gas Station

, , , , , | Legal | May 29, 2021

I’m in line at a gas station where I’m a regular customer, waiting to pay for my gas and a few other items. The station has two cash registers served by the same line. Usually, only one register is open, but if there are a lot of people in line, another employee will open the second register to help clear the line.

When I get in line, only the first register is open. I wait patiently, with three or four other customers behind me. When I’m next in line for the register, an employee sees the line and opens the second register, calling for the next person in line.

I start to step over, and then a woman at the back of the line of customers SPRINTS to the register. I see her coming and take two long steps to make sure I get to the register before her. I place my own items on the counter and use my body to block her from reaching past me to put her own items on the counter. This makes her mad.

Woman: *Screaming like a banshee* “I WAS HERE FIRST! YOU CUT ME OFF! GET OUT OF MY WAY!”

I turn to the woman, calmly point out where the back of the line is, and turn back to the cashier. The woman continues shrieking, and the cashier and I both roll our eyes at her behavior.

As I reach for my wallet to pay, something slams into the back of my head, hard enough that I have to brace myself against the counter for a few seconds to make sure I’m not seriously injured. When I know I’m okay, I turn around to see the woman with an unopened but dented aluminum pop can in her hand.

Practically shaking with rage, I make a conscious effort to restrain myself from punching her and I pull my phone out of my pocket. As I dial and begin explaining the situation to the person on the other end of my call, the woman realizes what is going on and flees the store. I finish telling the 911 dispatcher what happened, including a description of the woman’s car while I watch her get in and speed out of the parking lot.

Two police officers arrive, and I give my official statement to them. Other customers and the employees also provide statements, and the store manager agrees to hand over the footage from the store’s security cameras.

I agree to press assault charges against the woman, and the store also presses charges for shoplifting — she took her items without paying — and for driving off without paying for her fuel. After giving my statement, I accept an ambulance ride to the hospital for a concussion evaluation and am diagnosed with a minor concussion.

A week after the assault, I go back to the hospital for a follow-up exam and am given a clean bill of health. I take all of the paperwork from the ambulance ride and my two exams to the county courthouse and file a civil lawsuit against the woman for the bills.

The woman chooses to fight her various criminal charges but is found guilty on all counts at her court trial. After declaring the sentence, the judge also rules in my favor in my civil lawsuit and awards me full compensation for my medical bills resulting from the woman’s assault.

This story is part of our Best Of May 2021 roundup!

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Their Self Entitlement Is Harder Than Candy

, , , | Right | May 28, 2021

There are three of us in the lobby at the moment: me, my coworker, and one of our regulars, who is a man in his sixties. I’m a woman in my twenties and I wear glasses. My coworker is helping [Customer #1]. She is primarily focused on her computer, as it’s running slowly. My regular is chatting with me about this and that.

Another regular, a guy around my age, walks in. We have a basket of candy in the lobby for kids.

Me: “Oh, sorry, [Customer #1], gotta get back to work now. Hi, [Customer #2]! What can I get you?”

Customer #2: “Hey, [My Name]. Just $100 out of my checking. How’s it going?”

Me: “Pretty good. How are you? How’s your wife?”

We chat while I process his withdrawal. As I’m counting his cash back, I feel something graze the side of my glasses and bounce off my ear. I ignore it and continue counting. Something grazes the other side of my face. About thirty seconds later, something small and hard hits me directly in the right lens. I recoil backward.

Me: “Whoa!”

Customer #2: “What the…?”

I look down and see three pieces of our hard candy lying on the ground.

Customer #2: “Is someone throwing candy?”

Coworker: “Hey! [Customer #1], what are you doing?!”

I look up just in time to see a lollipop flying at my face. I have no time to react. It bounces off the right lens frame again and hits the ground. [Customer #2], my coworker, and I stare at [Customer #1] in disbelief.

Me: “What the heck?!”

Customer #1: “You weren’t paying attention to me, so I had to fix that.”

He’s grinning and clearly very proud of himself. Meanwhile, I’m trying very hard not to lose my temper. I take my glasses off to ensure that the lenses are not cracked and then put them back on.

Customer #1: “Oh, it was a joke.”

Me: “I need these to see! How am I supposed to get home tonight if you break my glasses and I can’t see to drive?!”

He has the good sense to look sheepish.

Customer #1: “Uh…”

Me: “I think you need to leave now.”

He shuffled out the door. I told my boss, who made him come back the next day and apologize.

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The Biggest Baby Here Isn’t The Toddler

, , , , | Right | May 26, 2021

Many years ago, when my now-grown, normally well-behaved children were small, one of them a toddler, we stopped at a small, family-oriented restaurant to eat; the name of the establishment even included the word “family” and the decor and ambiance were heavily child-themed. It was a weekday, between lunch and dinner rushes, and only one other table, on the far side of the room, was occupied, by a single, middle-aged man.

We’d been served our meals and were eating and quietly talking among ourselves. My toddler, to express his pleasure with his food, banged his spoon on the highchair tray a couple of times and laughed loudly, but he quickly settled back down to continue messily shoveling food into his mouth, babbling happily but not excessively noisily.

Suddenly, from across the room, there is a shout.

Customer: “Keep those d*** babies quiet; I came here to eat, not to watch a bunch of kids banging away, screaming, and throwing food!”

Not knowing how to react, I turned to look at the man having the fit as the waiter sprinted in his direction, just in time to see him knock his beverage over onto his plate then into his lap as he tried to catch it, also sending his plate flying off the table onto the floor and noisily shattering.

He then jumped up, slammed some bills onto the table, and bumped into the waiter, nearly knocking him off his feet as he stormed out the door shouting:

Customer: “F****** noisy, messy kids, keep the h***spawn at home where they belong!”

He practically sprinted toward a nearby hotel, flailing his arms and ranting, right by two other restaurants in the parking lot, neither of them particularly family-friendly.

Then, as the waiter apologized for the tantrum we’d witnessed and told the kids they’d done nothing wrong and were behaving better than many adults, I got to explain to my kids, per their inquiries, why a grown man could be so mean, make such a mess, and use “bad” words.

Here’s hoping he was just having a bad day and that wasn’t his usual demeanor!

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Louie The Heard

, , , , , | Right | May 20, 2021

My name is Louis. It’s pronounced “Louie,” but people get it wrong all the time. 

Customer #1: “Hello, Lewis. Do you have that package?”

Me: “Yes, I do, and it’s actually pronounced ‘Louie.’”

Customer #1: “Oh, like Anne Rice?”

Me: “Exactly.”

Customer #2: “Luis, where is my package?!”

Me: “As I told you, [Customer #2], we are still waiting for the company to ship it to us. And my name is pronounced ‘Louie.’”

Customer #2: *Turning bright red* “Your name is f****** Luis and you’re going to answer to it!”

Customer #1: “Cool it, d*****bag! He said he’s still waiting on it! He hasn’t got magical powers! And you call people what they want to be called! That’s how you show respect.”

[Customer #2] went a weird shade of magenta and reached across the counter and tries to grab at me, but [Customer #1] put him in a chokehold while I call my manager. My manager banned him from stepping foot inside the shop since he tried to assault me; now he has to call ahead and have any packages delivered to his car. He’s also banned from speaking to me. My manager asked if I wanted to press charges, but I decided that’s too much of a headache.

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If You Want The Energy Drink Have The Energy To Cooperate

, , , , , , | Right | May 14, 2021

Supermarkets in the UK aren’t allowed to sell energy drinks to under-sixteens. For sake of ease, the one I work for puts it under the challenge-twenty-five policy; if you look younger than twenty-five, you have to show ID. We can be fired if we don’t ask. I’m by the checkouts when there’s a loud commotion at self-serve, so I head on over just in case.

A boy who looks about sixteen is loudly swearing at my colleague on self-serve, gesturing wildly, whilst the girl he’s with, who looks eighteen or nineteen, is trying to calm him down. My colleague tells him to leave, and he does, but not before throwing what he was going to purchase on the floor and pushing over our social distancing signs, barriers, a tower of baskets, and some stock. The girl apologises profusely to my colleague and follows him out, looking mortified. I head in and help my colleague pick up stuff.

Me: “You okay? I can cover you if you need to have a break?”

Colleague: “I’m fine. I finish in a couple of minutes anyway.”

Me: “What an end to your shift. What even was his problem?”

Colleague: “Wanted to buy an energy drink. He looked young, so I asked for ID. He didn’t have any; he left his license at home. I told him I couldn’t sell him that, but I could hold onto his stuff whilst he picked a different drink to go with his meal deal. ‘I’m 21!! Raaarraarraar,’ effing this, effing that. Honestly.”

Me: “He was twenty-one?!”

Colleague: “I know, he looked like he was thirteen! And having the hormonal rage of a pubescent teenager isn’t going to make me think that you’re old enough to buy it!”

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