How Old Are They?!

, , , , | Right | April 28, 2021

In our produce section, we have a little shelf with fruit and vegetables that are still good but will expire in two or three days, so they’re much cheaper. An older lady and an older man are shopping in this section. The lady reaches for a package of grapes for $0.85, and the man bumps her with his cart.

Old Man: “Put them back! I want to buy them!”

She refuses, so he keeps bumping her with his cart. She picks up the grapes to put them in her cart. He SLAMS his cart into her body, almost knocking her over, and yells:

Old Man: “I want those grapes! You can’t take them!”

Her solution? She opened the package and threw the grapes at the man, screaming back at him. Cops were called and the customers were taken outside to talk with them.

There were grapes everywhere.

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You Can Survive A Fire, But Not An Entitled Customer

, , , | Right | CREDIT: FatFlowerPunk | April 27, 2021

We have a regular at our hotel. We’ll call her Miss Smith. Now, I’m pretty new to this property but I have been warned she is unpleasant. Miss Smith always has room 101. A week ago a man whose house had caught fire checked into 101 under the relief disaster folks. Today Miss Smith arrives:

Me: “Miss Smith, unfortunately, room 101 is occupied and has been for about a week.”

Customer: *Starts going off.* “I’ll never stay here again! If I’d known I’d have stayed at [Competitor Hotel] across the way!”

Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience.”

Customer: Screaming. “You should move him! I’m a loyal member!”

Me: “I can’t just make a guest move rooms for you, ma’am.”

She takes her keys to her room, just a little down the hall. On the way, she STOPS at 101 and starts banging on the door! This man was a victim of a house fire. He’s distraught and wants to rest. He opens the door and she starts screaming at him. I’m already hustling my little body down the hall, phone in hand, because there’s no way I’m letting her stay and disrupt the hotel like this.

As I’m dialing the police she THROWS HER COFFEE AT ME! Thankfully it was iced and not hot but f***, y’all. I finished my shift in a too-small spare work shirt with sticky hair, waiting on the police to come arrest her.

All this over a room. All the rooms on that floor are exactly the same. Cleaned by the same housekeeper.

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God Help You If He Finds Pickles

, , , , | Right | April 26, 2021

A customer who has been through the drive-thru comes inside and yells at me.

Customer: “I had pickles in my meal, and I said no pickles!”

My manager is also my sister; she comes to talk to him.

Customer: “You again?! I wanted to talk to a manager!”

He thinks we were the same person.

Sister: “I’m a manager, and I’ll fix your problem for you.”

She got him a brand-new meal, fries and all. The man was not happy. He took the old sandwich out of the package and threw it onto the counter. He took the extra fries my sister had given him and threw them at us, too!

After that, he walked out, mumbling about how he wouldn’t come back.

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Not What We Meant When We Said, “Take A Seat”

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Here4SatisfyingDrama | April 25, 2021

I was a college student working at a small, homely diner for the summer. My coworkers were taking orders at the counter and giving customers number cards, and I was bringing the orders out to tables labeled with the appropriate numbers.

One elderly man didn’t grab his number card to put on his table, so that meant the next lady in line took his card. There were also now two separate orders with the same number label.

I grabbed the first tray of food with that number and looked for the number card, which was on the lady’s table. I went back to the kitchen window and noticed that the next tray of food had the same number, so I brought it out to that same lady’s table, only to be met with confused looks since everyone at that table already had their food.

That’s when the elderly man chimed in. He stormed over and shouted:


I was pretty stunned at the shouting, but thankfully, my manager walked over to calm this man down. She explained the situation with the number cards.

Manager: “We will re-make your order and have it out for you shortly.”

That was apparently unacceptable to this man, as he walked back to his table, picked up his chair, and CHUCKED IT ACROSS THE ENTIRE RESTAURANT, hitting the wall. The impact broke one of the legs and dispersed a bunch of screws in the area.

Thankfully, it somehow didn’t hit anybody.

I was expecting my manager to kick him out, but I guess she didn’t want to get the police involved because he ended up staying at his table —  now missing a chair — and waiting on his food.

Needless to say, I was a bit scared when bringing his food to him a few minutes later, but he just angrily ate his food in silence.

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Fishing For A Reason To Scream

, , , , , | Friendly | April 21, 2021

I care for three small children; the eldest is a three-year-old boy. One day, I take them for a walk around a local park, and the eldest becomes fascinated by the people fishing along the river for the opening weekend of the fishing season. As he asks excited questions, some of the fishers turn to answer him and let him see their catches and do things like hold their nets.

As we continue, the eldest asks if we can go fishing, too, and I tell him he can only pretend to fish today. To go fishing for real, he needs to talk to his parents and they will have to get a bunch of stuff.

Boy: “Like what?”

Me: “Oh, a fishing pole and hook, you’ll need bait, and you’ll have to get a fishing license…”

A man on the shore screams a curse, turns, and charges at us.

Man: “That’s bulls***! Don’t listen to that. Why would you need permission? Fishing licenses are just bureaucratic bulls***. Why the h*** do you think you need to get anyone’s permission to go out in the world? Do you really believe all that?”

The rant continues, but at no point is it directed at me; he is screaming at the three-year-old. The kid is startled and tries to hide behind me, but the man rounds me and tries to get closer, spitting without a mask.

Me: “Okay… I was just talking to him. We are on a walk. Could you back up?”

The man ignores me, still getting closer, yelling at the preschooler about government overstepping and his personal viewpoints.

Man: “There’s no one who can take my right to take fish from where God put them for me. They don’t need to track my name! They don’t own me; they don’t own you!”

There was definitely something unhinged about him, and as he got angrier and louder, he was scaring all three children, and the babies started to cry. I scooped up the boy and started pushing the stroller with the other children away, telling the man to please leave us alone. It was slow going between carrying the squirming kid one-handed and pushing the double stroller.

It’s at this moment that one of the oldest fishermen suddenly appeared beside me, whispered that he was a retired policeman, and asked if he could take over pushing the stroller. At the same time, two other fishermen stepped between the yelling man and us. They were trying to distract or placate him, but he was literally yelling over them at us.

Thankfully, with the help of the retired policeman, we got some space between us, but I now found myself on the far side of the river from my car. The policeman told me he wasn’t comfortable allowing me back toward the yelling man, as he was obviously unwell and had a holstered weapon. Instead, I took the kids and hid inside a locked public restroom until he gave me the all-clear.

Apparently, the cops were called to diffuse the situation, and they ultimately got the yelling man to leave because, unsurprisingly, he was fishing without a license. Still, I got an escort back to my car, and the policeman pointed out that it was a man-made river that was stocked with fish… by the government.

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