Well, This Turned Into A Complete Wreck…

, , , , | Legal | January 9, 2020

A woman goes to my local grocery store and loads her cart up with food and goods. She goes right by the checkout and straight out of the store; she begins loading up her car with the stolen items. 

Right before she finishes, the manager and a security guard go out to confront her. Seeing them coming, the lady abandons what’s left in her cart. She dives into the driver’s seat and starts up the vehicle. Seeing she’s about to flee, the security guard yanks her back door open and jumps inside. The lady peels out of the parking lot, hitting the manager with her bumper as she does so — though at such a low speed no harm is done.

The security guard, still in her vehicle, makes demands that she stop the car or go back to the store. However, according to the lady, he tries to wrest control of the vehicle away from her. 

The car darts down the road, way over the speed limit, and to the highway without stopping at the light. An oncoming truck broadsides the vehicle, sending the shoplifter and the security guard careening into the concrete median. The vehicle is completely smashed.

The guard is ricocheted all around the back seat and knocked unconscious with a bleeding head injury. He winds up being life-flighted. A witness to the crash and the truck driver tell what they saw of the accident. However, the lady insists the security guard was trying to fight her for control of the vehicle and the crash is all his fault. 

The cops on the scene arrested her for abduction, but her lawyer is arguing that the security guard was at fault, that there’s no abduction since he forced himself into the vehicle, and that he should be charged with assault himself. With him still unconscious, all they have is her word to go on.

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Bringing You Some Ketchup, Assault, And Pepper

, , , , , | Right | January 9, 2020

(I’m running the front of the restaurant alone during an extremely busy dinner rush while my coworker helps my manager cook in the kitchen. This hasn’t ever been a problem; people are usually much nicer when I’m out there solo. I’ve been able to remember drinks orders pretty well tonight, so I’ve been doing my best to keep people happy. One table has been taken over by local regulars; no problem, even easier for me to remember their drinks, so I keep them well topped up. I’m summoned into the kitchen momentarily to answer a question my manager asks while my coworker comes out to the bar to get her phone as her daughter is ill and needs to be kept on her. Unbeknownst to me, she also serves the regulars some more drinks and doesn’t tell me, and I’m unable to see this as the table is around the corner. I’ve never had any issue with one of the regulars, but as she has caused problems for my coworkers before, I keep an eye on her, being sure to remain friendly. I come out of the kitchen, smiling at the regular customer since she has brought up her empty glass and placed it on the counter, and she is now watching me and waiting silently.)

Me: “Oh, hey! I’ll be right with you; I just gotta wash my hands! Accidentally got covered in ketchup out there!”

Regular: *overly sweet* “Oh, take your time, sweetie! I’m in no rush here!”

(I quickly wash my hands off and make a big show of thoroughly drying them; we can get in trouble if a customer thinks we have dirty hands so it has to almost be theatrical. I pick up the empty wine glass with a smile and hold it up, as I usually do before I refill.)

Me: “Oh, same again? It was [red wine], if I remember correctly, right?”

(The regular suddenly goes from a sweet expression to a rage that I honestly cannot describe, and before I can react she’s brought her arm back and PUNCHED ME hard enough in the face that I almost fall over, barely keeping my feet under me.)

Regular: “How dare you suggest I’m an alcoholic, you little b****?! Can’t you see I’ve got already got another glass?! I was being kind and bringing the old one back; clearly you don’t deserve it!”

Me: “I… I…”

(I’m in so much shock I can’t speak; I’m hurting and confused as to what just happened. Every table, which had all been fairly loud, has gone eerily silent. I can only watch as the regular goes back to her table, still not understanding what I did to deserve such an attack. The silence in the restaurant must have been noticed by my manager because she comes rushing out and sees me.)

Manager: *concerned* “[My Name]! What’s going on?!”

Another Customer: *pointing* “That crazy woman on that table just punched her for doing her job! She just asked if she wanted another drink!”

Manager: “What?! [My Name], is this true?”

Me: *nods, and I’m only just noticing I’m crying, trying to rub the tears away because I already felt embarrassed enough in front of the customers* “Y-yeah, [Regular] just went nuts at me…”

Manager: “All right, you go finish helping [Coworker] in the kitchen for me. I’ll sort this out for you.”

(I did as I was told, and within a couple of minutes my manager came back and told me [Regular] had run off with the rest of her table. I finished my shift out front again, still fairly shaken, but my other customers were extremely kind and patient, with many of them leaving huge tips as they left. Thankfully, we were able to get the CCTV footage after my shift finished and handed it to the police. The regular hasn’t been back in since, and I’m still waiting for the final outcome for the assault charge against her.)

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Sadly Rewarded For Horsing Around

, , , , , | Right | January 2, 2020

I work at a place that is a historic mansion during the day, a haunted house at night. For the most part, we avoid scares where people lunge out at you. The way the house is built doesn’t really allow for it, and the risk of guests panicking and damaging walls is too high. This year, however, we have constructed a maze in an unfinished area, which we call “the Grinder.”

I did not give this tour but was told about it later. A man was scared by an actor in the Grinder who popped out of the fake wall — the intended purpose of this. This man had also happened to purchase a toy, a stick with a horse head, earlier. 

Instead of any kind of rational response to being scared, this man stayed behind, waited for the actor to pop out again, and then hit him in the face with the horse. Four times. 

The most frustrating part? Not only was he not arrested, but he was also given a full refund, despite going through a good 90% of the house and assaulting an actor.

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Staying Relatively Calm  

, , , , , | Right | December 31, 2019

(At our store, an employee was recently fired. She left the office the very moment she was told she was fired, and wouldn’t come back to hear anything else. At the end of the night, we discover she left her purse behind! Since she removed all of her contact info, we have no way to reach her or mail her stuff to her. We don’t want to throw her stuff out because we figure she has important things in there like her state ID and bank card, so my boss decides if she doesn’t return by the end of the week, we’ll turn it over to police. Three days pass without her returning, but a coworker has her sister’s phone number, and says she’ll call the sister to get the stuff. Her sister has come into the store before, so we know what she looks like and we won’t have a problem giving it to her. During the evening, about two hours before closing, I pick up a phone call.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. This is [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Yeah, hey. I’m [Former Employee’s Sister]. I’m getting ready to leave to come to pick up her stuff. Why didn’t anyone just call her?”

Me: “We no longer have contact info for your sister, so we have no way to reach her.”

Caller: “Yeah, she told me that she took all of it off, but I thought you would have it backed up or something. She figured out later on she left her purse, but she was going to replace everything.”

Me: “Why? We would’ve given it back. If her stuff wasn’t picked up by the end of the week, we were going to turn it over to the police.”

Caller: “I guess you can’t tell me what happened, but she’s really mad at you. You know we live together, right? She came home and slammed the door when she came in. I asked her what was wrong and she just screamed at me and locked herself in her room all day.”

Me: “I see. So, I guess she’s cooled down now?”

Caller: “If she did, she’d be picking up her stuff. No, she said she’d rather lose all her stuff than step foot in your store again. I tried to talk her into going, but she said if I made her come along, she’d give you all absolute h*** for the night. Don’t know what anyone over there said to her, but she’s dying to curse all of you out to h*** and back, so she’s better off staying away. Not kidding. She told me this from her own mouth.”

Me: “Ma’am, forgive me for asking, but you’re talking like this is normal. You’re not upset with her or us?”

Caller: *laughing* “Nah. My sister and I are besties, so I know what she’s like when she’s mad. She’s had a bad temper since we were kids. She was a lot worse when we were younger, so what you’re seeing is better. When she was 13, she trashed a classroom because the teacher accused her of cheating and got her in trouble. She was innocent, though, so can’t blame her. Anyway, I’m leaving right now. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

(She hung up and I was left stunned for a bit. True to her word, she came about twenty minutes later, picked up her sister’s belongings, and bought a stuffed animal she thought would cheer her sister up. She was beyond polite to us, too. Hard to believe she and the former employee are related.)

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Suddenly Know What The Neighbors New Year’s Resolution Will Be

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 31, 2019

(This happens when I am about four. It’s New Year’s Eve, and the house at the corner is having a party. Someone sets off fireworks in the empty lot near said house, and my sister and I run down to go watch. We are standing near the fence of the house party. As we’re watching the fireworks, a young woman leans over the fence.)

Woman: “Hey, what are you two doing?”

Me: “We’re watching fireworks!”

Woman: “That’s cool.”

(Then, for no reason, she DUMPED her entire cup of beer on my sister and me. We both squealed and ran home, crying. My mom called the cops, and the party was shut down after it was revealed that the majority of the young adults drinking weren’t of age yet.)

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