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That’s One Whopper Of An Overreaction

, , , | Right | January 4, 2022

I work at a fast food restaurant, [Restaurant #1], which sells [Signature Burger #1]. Our competitor, [Restaurant #2], sells [Signature Burger #2].

Customer: “I want a [Signature Burger #2] with extra bacon!”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have those. We do have [Signature Burger #1].”

She screamed at me for almost ten minutes about it.

Customer: “You’re so stupid! Your parents, too. I wish your family would die. Your parents should have used a condom!”

At no point did my pointing out that she was sitting in a [Restaurant #1] drive-thru queue, or my pointing out — and at one point, pointing AT — the thirty-plus-foot pole in our car park with our massive logo on it, prove to her that she was in the wrong place to purchase a [Signature Burger #2] with anything.

At the end, after a string of swear words that I still struggle to repeat:

Customer: “You’re a liar! All fast-food restaurants are owned by the same people. You just want me to starve!”

Lord knows what my manager finally said to make her leave.

Pepperoni, Cheese, And Disproportionate Rage

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Unusual-Researcher70 | December 30, 2021

I’ve worked as a pizza delivery driver on and off for the past couple of years. I’m in my early twenties, so obviously, I’m still getting the hang of being in the workforce. But I’ve worked in this industry long enough to have at least a few campfire stories to share of the world’s pizza-ordering crazies. Here’s one of the worst.

It was a busy Friday night. It was only me and a couple of other drivers working. We had a few call out and one had just simply quit, so we were already running on a skeleton crew, and the deliveries just wouldn’t stop coming in. It was so busy that the managers had to clock us in and out on doubles and triples just to stop the “numbers from looking bad”. Even though we were all hauling a**, the orders were still arriving late; we were just that shorthanded that night. But we were doing our best.

I got a delivery to a suburb that is not that bad of a tipping spot; it has some of my town’s nicer residents in it. It’s even got a public park and a ballpark nearby. My town has less than 10,000 people in it, and it’s a southern town, so usually, people are pretty nice. I pulled up to the customer’s place and parked in their driveway. It was a credit card order with no tip. That’s fine by me; they usually leave cash or write one in if there’s no pre-tip.

I approached the door and it seemed they were having a party inside, based on all the vehicles lined around the block. I figured it would be a happy drunk tip or something. But the lady that came out had a different vibe from everyone else inside the house.


She approached me, snatched the receipt off of my delivery bag, and demanded that I hand her the food immediately. Her drunken husband appeared, as well, and backed his wife up by asking if the food was free. He didn’t seem aggressive, but he was not happy, either. At this point, my mouth was completely zipped. I usually greet all the customers and ask about their day, but obviously, there was no point here.

As I was opening the bag, the lady grabbed the bag from me and yanked it open. She jerked all her food out and handed it to her husband, right before SHOVING ME OFF HER PORCH and screaming in my face.


It took literally every bit of willpower in the universe not to physically retaliate against this woman. While my mother raised me to never even think of raising a finger to harm a woman, she never said I couldn’t defend myself. And had the lady continued on to actually physically harm me more, I would’ve done so. But it was just a light shove. And even though she was totally in the wrong, I took one for the team and just left. All without saying a word. At the time, I felt that was the right thing to do.

I got back to the store and laid out the entire story to my managers, and their response was to immediately call the police. Not a surprise. I didn’t think of doing it at the scene of the “crime” as I wasn’t actually hurt, but I feel like I could’ve done it if I’d wanted to. You shouldn’t assault people, period, let alone your delivery driver, just because your food was late.

The police said nothing would end up happening legal-wise, mostly because I left, and that I should’ve been the one to call, etc. I wasn’t too worried, though; I just wanted to be sure I didn’t ever have to deliver to that address again. Could you blame me? My manager made sure we blacklisted it and made it so they couldn’t even place a carryout order under the same name. Since then, we haven’t heard a thing. And ever since then, on busy nights, if I know an order is already late, I call the customer to inform them I’m coming. It takes a couple of extra minutes, but I’m sure it saves me from the potential assault.

I Don’t Think Santa Makes Stops At The Jail

, , , , , | Legal | December 24, 2021

One Christmas Eve when I am working retail in a small computer store, a man comes to our door ten minutes after we close.

Man: “I reserved a video card for pickup online and need to pick it up.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the store closed ten minutes ago and all the point-of-sale systems are going through the end-of-day procedures and cannot be interrupted.”

Man: “I really need to get it; it’s a gift for my son.”

Me: “[Large Retailer] is open for another hour.”

Man: “Okay, can I just get a copy of the invoice to show my son what I’m getting him?”

Me: “I can do that.”

I go into the office to get the invoice and make a copy for him.

When I open the door to give it to the man, he yanks the door open out of my hand and charges me, knocking me down.

Man: “Okay, now put the tray from both registers on the counter and lie down on the floor behind it!”

I did exactly what he asked, and he took both tills and took off, forgetting that I had the original invoice with his name, address, and phone number.

I bet that Christmas sucked for both him and his son.

That’s One For The Holiday Books

, , , , | Right | December 24, 2021

I work in an indie bookshop. It is two days before Christmas. We’re packed so there’s three of us working. Ten large boxes arrive (it’s a mixture of restock and customer order) so we start sorting through it. Our usual process for customer orders is that we ring them up to let them know their order has arrived. Simple concept, right? Apparently not.

A guy comes in:

Customer: *Demanding.* “Get my order!”

We look up his order: three flat kids’ books.

Me: “Sir, we haven’t called you to pick these up yet, and the books haven’t arrived yet, but I reckon they might be in the remaining seven boxes we have yet to unpack.”

Customer: “Then get me my books!”

Me: “You’re going to have to wait while we sort through them.”

He gets angrier and angrier, eventually resorting to assaulting my coworker who’s shelving books. We threaten to call the police. Some of the other customers butt in and tell him to stop. We give the angry man a refund and tell him to get out and never come back.

When we eventually got to the end of the ten boxes, his books were nowhere to be seen. I think they arrived after Christmas, so we popped them on the shelves and sold them out of spite.

You Try To Get Someone An Override…

, , , , , | Right | December 19, 2021

Back when I worked at an electronics store, I had a customer who had an extended warranty expire literally two days from the day he brought his VCR in for repair. I was working on getting an override from corporate because his VCR warranty expired on Thanksgiving Day, and you know how busy we are the two days after.

He got upset because it was taking so long, and he threw the VCR at me, causing thirteen stitches on my scalp.

Ironically, the override happened shortly afterward, and he lost it again when I told him we couldn’t repair a unit damaged by customer abuse.

The police were called. The guy was arrested and I went to hospital.

He got six weeks in jail, was instructed to attend anger management, and was court-ordered not to step into a [Store] in our county for an infinite period of time.