Your Annoyance Level Is Up To The High Teens

, , , , , , , | Right | September 10, 2017

(I work the overnight shift alone from 10 pm to 6 am. I usually get the local cops in at the beginning of my shift, since they are starting their shift as well, and they also come by a few times a night, just to check in and say hi. Around 3 am one Sunday morning, another regular, who is shy and has a social disability, comes in to get his coffee and wait for his ride. As I’m finishing with him. two teenage boys come in.)

Me: *to regular* “Thanks for shopping at [Gas Station] and I’ll see you tomorrow.” *to teenagers* “Can I help you two with anything?”

Teenager #1: “Yeah, I’d like some cigarettes. [Brand].”

Me: “Certainly. I’ll just need to see some ID.”

Teenager #1: “I left it at the house. Can you let it slide this once? Besides, I only live right down the street.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell to anyone that looks under 30 without an ID. Besides, if you live right down the street, then it should be no problem to get your ID.”

Teenager #1: “C’mon, man, just let it slide this once. I can tell you my birthday. It’s [date].”

Me: “Well, sir, if that is your birthday, then you are only 16. I can’t sell the cigarettes to you, but feel free to get anything else.”

Teenager #2: “Here, I’ll get them then. I just turned 18 and I have my ID.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but I can’t sell them to you, since I know you are buying them for your friend, who I know is underage.”

Teenager #2: “But I’m 18!”

Teenager #1: “Don’t be a d***. Nobody will notice at this time of night.”

Me: “Sorry, but it’s not worth my job.”

(The two teenagers leave, and I see them go up to my regular, who is still waiting in the parking lot, and talk to him for a minute. My regular walks back in.)

Regular: “Can I get a pack of [Cigarette Brand Teenager Asked For]?”

Me: “I actually can’t. I know you don’t smoke, and I know those boys just asked you to get them cigarettes. Tell them I’m not selling them cigarettes, and they can’t get anyone else to buy them for them.”

(My regular leaves and talks to the teens. He gets picked up around five minutes later, but the teens are still loitering. I ignore them, as there isn’t anyone else in the store or parking lot, and start to mop while the store is slow. About 20 minutes later, the teens come in and get some nachos, making a mess in the process. As they come to check out, I notice the reek of alcohol.)

Teenager #2: “I’d like these nachos.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. Can I get you anything else?”

Teenager #2: “Yeah, I’d like a pack of [Same Cigarette Brand].”

Me: “I told you 20 minutes ago that I wouldn’t sell you cigarettes. Now, you need to pay for the nachos and leave.”

(They end up grumbling, but pay for their food and leave. However, they don’t leave the parking lot, and instead hang around eating their food. I ignore them again and start making coffee. About ten minutes later, one of my older regulars shows up. He stops to talk to the boys on the way in, and then comes into the store.)

Me: “Hey, [Older Regular].”

(All the coffee is fresh, and once I finish with the trash, I can take a break and come outside and chat.)

Older Regular: “You know those boys are asking for people to buy them cigarettes, don’t you? I told them I wouldn’t, and that you knew I didn’t smoke anyway.”

Me: “Okay, well, I’ve had about enough of this.” *I go outside and talk to the teenagers.* “You guys need to leave now. You can’t loiter here, and you can’t keep harassing my customers to illegally buy you tobacco.”

Teenager #1: “Well, why don’t you make us? We ain’t doing nothing!”

Teenager #2: “Yeah, and this wouldn’t have happened if you’d been f***ing cool about it.”

(Fed up with this, I call dispatch, and explain to them about the two drunk teens. Two minutes later, I have three cop cars pull in and corner these two kids. One tries to run and is caught almost instantly. My regular and I go outside to watch.)

Cop: *also a regular* “Hey, [My Name]. These two the only ones who were bothering you?”

Me: “Yeah. So, what are you going to do to them?”

Cop: “We’ll take them down to the station and throw them in the drunk tank. We’ll call their parents once they sober up. Usually putting the fear of God in them is enough. Call us if they ever show up on your shift again!”

(My regular and I walked away laughing. It certainly made the rest of my shift more enjoyable, and the teens had a great story to tell at school Monday!)

Whipped Cream And Pee Jars And Tag, Oh My!

, , , , , | Learning | September 10, 2017

(I am one of three RAs in a freshman dorm. I am talking to one of the SRAs (Senior RA) as my shift ends, when I see three freshman residents exiting the elevator, covered in whipped cream.)

SRA: “What happened, guys?”

Freshman #1: “I want to switch roommates!” *The other freshmen pipe up loudly that they, too, want to switch roommates.*

SRA: “Did your roommates do this to all of you? Did you do anything to them first?”

Freshman #2: “Well, we’ve been collecting bottles of our pee and placing it in their clothing, and under their bed sheets, but they started it first!”

(The SRA looks at me as this guy is talking, knowing there’s going to be a s***-ton of paperwork and meetings over this.)

Me: “Tag, you’re it!” *walks away*

(Don’t worry, I’m not a horrible RA. I came back with coffee for the SRA and we sorted this out together. I just wanted to see her reaction when she thought I left her.)

This Sale Kicked The Bucket

, , , , | Right | September 8, 2017

(I am taking a customer’s order.)

Me: “That will be [amount], please.”

(She suddenly kicks the front of the counter.)

Me: “Madam?”

(She kicks again more violently, then moves to a spiral collection box we have for children, then on to a condiment table. My manager comes out, and collectively the staff and customers watch as she tries to damage something. After a few tries she gives up.)

Customer: “So, how much do I get off for that?”

Me: “Get off?”

Customer: “My sister said if I kicked up a fuss, I would get money off my order.”

Manager: “Yes… that usually doesn’t involve literally kicking the furniture. You’ve got ten seconds to disappear, or I call the police.”

(She ran, and we gave the police our camera footage of the incident. After my manager’s monthly meeting, he told us she had tried the same thing at another two restaurants in our region. To our knowledge, she hasn’t been arrested yet.)

Give Him A Job Or You’re All Against Him

, , , , | Working | September 5, 2017

I work as a night duty manager at a large hotel. Part of the hotel is connected to a mall and parking garage structure, so the public has access to that area in general.

At about six am, I got a complaint from a hotel guest, who was exiting to the parking garage, that a man was swearing and yelling and smashing at the pay phone.

I went up to check the situation. I saw a somewhat angry-looking man screaming into the pay phone about having nowhere to go and asking what he was supposed to do now. Apparently the person on the other end either hung up, or he was cursing at an answering machine, because he hung up the receiver with a crash and swore.

I politely asked him to move on, as this was not a public area. He said he was trying to get hold of his case worker, he was just thrown out of his rooming house for “no f****** g**d*** reason,” and everyone was against him, everyone was an a**h***… and so on, for several minutes, swearing and yelling about his life.

I reminded him again that he had to move on… which he did, but not before yelling several more expletives and threats about what he would do to people who thought they would f*** him over.

An hour later, I was delivering the morning reports to the sales office, and the same man was around the corner by the parking garage. On seeing me walking to the general offices, he stopped me and… handed me a resume. It was handwritten in pencil on graph paper.

I promised that I would give it to the general manager for sure… (so we could issue a trespass notice with his full name and contact info).

Cheesecake Cheesed Off

, , , , , | Right | August 25, 2017

(I’ve just been called in for a closing shift on my day off and two shifts have passed since I was last in the building so I’m not quite up-to-date on exactly what I have left in the backroom. I’m on the sales-floor stocking yogurt when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Do you have any more of [Brand] in strawberry cheesecake?”

Me: “Hmm. Not in this load but I had two cases in the back yesterday morning. I’ll go see if they’re still there.”

(I hurry to the cooler in the backroom and check quickly for the two cases but they are gone. I return to the man and less than three minutes have passed.)

Me: “No, I’m sorry, sir. We must have sold them after I left last night.”

Customer: “All right, thanks for checking.”

(I return to stocking yogurts and find three cups of the flavor he wanted at the back of the shelf, shoved behind another flavor. He’s still nearby so I flag him down.)

Me: “Oh, sir, I found three of them at the back of the shelf!”

(Suddenly he snarls at me.)

Customer: “You little b****! You wasted my time!” *he turns on his heel and leaves without the yogurts, leaving me speechless*

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