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Some Customers Hit You Like A… Well…

, , , , | Right | January 10, 2022

I work for a car dealership. My job is to monitor the website. When someone requests more information about a particular vehicle, it comes in as a “lead.” To send in a lead, the customer must put in their email address, phone number, and name, and they are notified that someone will be reaching out. My job is to watch for these leads and reach out to customers as quickly as possible after the customer requests information about a vehicle to help answer their questions and see if they’d like to come to take a look at it.

A lead for a truck has just come through.

Me: “Hello, sir, my name is [My Name] and I am reaching out about your interest in our [Brand] truck. I’m happy to answer—”

Customer: “DON’T SAY ANOTHER WORD! DON’T CALL ME AGAIN! I’M GOING TO COME TO THE STORE AND PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!”

The customer then hangs up on me. I go down to tell my manager what has just happened in case the guy actually does come in. One of the salesmen, an old, grumpy retired Marine who is also quite the rough-and-tumble cowboy, is standing nearby listening to our conversation. He and I are good friends, and he looks out for me like one of his granddaughters. I mention I’ve been threatened with physical violence.

Salesman: “I’d love it if he came in here. I’d like to see him try and get past the door.”

He then stationed himself next to the door for the rest of the night!

We Hope She Swore To “Never Come Back”

, , , | Right | January 9, 2022

My father’s shop closed for a week because my father died suddenly. As I was trying to open the front door to my fully empty, shutters-down shop, a lady impatiently huffed behind me and stared at me.

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “No! I’m waiting to go in!”

Me: “Well, we won’t be open for another hour and a half yet, madam.”

She kicked off.

Customer: “WHY NOT?! IS MY DAUGHTER’S BANGLE BACK YET?! IT’S BEEN TWO WEEKS!”

Me: “Madam, we’ve been shut, unfortunately, so it won’t be ready just yet.”

Customer: “WHY?! HOW DARE YOU SHUT?! YOU’RE STEALING MY BANGLE! WHY ARE YOU CLOSED?!”

I completely lost my cool in the middle of the street.

Me: “MY FATHER DIED FIVE DAYS AGO!”

The worst thing was that she just said:

Customer: “So?”

Customers are crazy.

Measuring Tape Would’ve Saved Them A Lot Of Money (And Miles)

, , , | Right | January 8, 2022

I worked at a high-end furniture store. Our standard policy on custom furniture was that customers had seventy-two hours to change or cancel; after that there were no returns or cancellations. We made customers sign on the back of the receipt.

One day, a lady called.

Customer: “I need to return a sofa that I just had delivered. It doesn’t look big enough for the space. It’s order [number].”

Of course, it was custom.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t do that. The register doesn’t even have the option for that.”

She went into hysterics and screamed and yelled.

Customer: “I was told I would be able to return it!”

I was staring at her signature on the return policy, but I did my best customer service voice and told her again we couldn’t do it. An hour later, we got a call from a man trying to return a sofa, and surprise, surprise, it was her husband.

The minute I told him it was custom and we couldn’t do a refund, he flipped from innocent to furious, started called me names, and asked for a manager (who told him the same thing that I had).

A week later, we got a complaint from the regional manager that we weren’t being clear on return policy because this man had FLOWN from the east coast to Chicago just to show up at our corporate office and scream at them that his sofa was too small.

That Seems Like A Proportionate Response

, , , , | Right | January 8, 2022

I once had a customer who looked pretty young wanting to buy alcohol. I asked to see his ID and he refused to show it; hence, the manager had to come along.

A year or so later, said customer comes back, but I don’t recognize him. He instantly starts yelling at me.

Customer: “You might not recognize me, but I recognize you, you red-haired b***!*”

I reply to him as calmly as possible.

Me: “With all due respect, sir, I see a lot of people every day. I’m sorry I don’t recognize you.”

He then goes off calling me names and starting to threaten me while constantly inching closer towards me until he is right in my face.

Customer: “I’ll make sure of it that you’re scared when you walk the streets.”

He then proceeded to spit in my face and raised his hand to hit me. Luckily, we had a security agent who was fast enough to notice what was going on and intervened, telling me to go to the back so I was safe. On my way back, I heard him yell:

Customer: “You’re dead! I’m going to find you!”

And then, afterward, I found out who he was and why he hated me so much: all because I asked to see his ID.

Have A Day That’s As Magical As You Deserve!

, , , | Right | January 7, 2022

It’s my first day on the job at the “most magical place on Earth”.

Me: “Ma’am, our line is now closed to get ready for the parade to come through. We’ll reopen once the parade passes.”

Customer: “You’re an inhuman monster, and it should be illegal for you to be around children!”