Not Very Closed Minded, Part 13

| Right | December 13, 2015

(This is during Memorial Day, and our store is closing early for the holiday. I answer the phone at the front desk, frequently while assisting customers. This happens while I’m assisting someone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]; we close at six pm. How may I direct your call?”

Caller: “Is this [Store]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Are you open today?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “What time do you close?”


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Mother Has To Take Her Lumps

| Friendly | December 7, 2015

(I am six. My mother has always had a lewd sense of humour which I seem to have developed. She is buying various items including men’s underwear for my dad.)

Mother: *to me* “You should ask the cashier lady if these underwear come with the lump in the front.”

Me: *having no clue, we eventually reach the checkout desk* “Do those underwear come with the lump in the front?”

(My mother turned beet red and apologized for me. She couldn’t get out of the store fast enough.)

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Bail On The Wholesale

| Working | June 26, 2015

(I just got hired for a job. My job is to assist customers with their questions. One day I approach my boss.)

Me: “Boss, this idea that people can buy things at a good discount seems okay. How much for the membership?”

Boss: “About 5K.”

(My jaw drops.)

Me: “Five THOUSAND dollars? And people still have to pay for things?”

Boss: “They still save money! It’s a steal!”

(I’m about to say ‘I don’t see how’ but decided to keep my mouth shut and hope no customer asks me to explain how they save money. But my boss can tell I’m skeptical anyway and she is upset. Later, a very upset customer DOES ask me to explain to him how he’ll save money.)

Me: “Well, um… er… I’ll just get the sales manager to explain.”

(Unfortunately, my boss has heard what I said and tells me sternly to go to her office. I’m fired on the spot. Later, I check my email and guess who’s now spamming my inbox with their ads that I’ll save?)

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