Red Vest Alert

, , , , | | Right | July 25, 2019

(As head cashier, I’m on shift mornings for most of the week and my boss will generally trust me to lead the front. Today, she approaches me and leads me away from a couple of customers with a question.)

Boss: “So, what happened yesterday?”

Me: “Nothing. All was normal. I got one of the sets done and I had the new girl clean the tool tables. Pretty standard day. Why? What’s up?”

Boss: “I just got a complaint about a cashier with inappropriate clothing of all things. I saw you and [New Girl] yesterday, so I know it wasn’t you. However, the complaint said they knew the girl as [Name nothing close to any of my cashier’s names]. Know anything about it?”

(It’s been on the colder side for the last few days, so my other cashiers and I have all been wearing long-sleeved shirts or light sweaters under our bright red vests.)

Me: “Unless some kind of weird party happened after I left, I don’t know anything. Sorry.”

Boss: “Okay. It was probably a prank, then. Keep up the good work.”

(She leaves and I get back to doing my regular work. An hour or two passes by, and I remember something, so I call my boss on the walkie.)

Me: “Hey, [Boss], I think I know who that dress complaint was about.”

Boss: “Oh? Who do I have to write up?”

Me: “Well, unless you can write up customers, there’s not much we can do.”

Boss: “What?”

Me: “A young lady came in yesterday in a big red shirt and shorts. The shirt was so long and the shorts so tiny, it almost looked like she wasn’t wearing bottoms. That’s the only person I can think that was dressed any kind of inappropriately all day yesterday.”

Boss: “Okay, then. [District Boss] will be told that we have to not let customers wear red shirts, then. Thanks, [My Name].”

Going To Be A Dead Pool

, , , , | Working | January 5, 2019

(I’m training a new cashier when one of my coworkers, who has the day off, comes to check out. I don’t particularly like this coworker since she has an attitude and is as dumb as a box of rocks. This interaction just proves it.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker].”

Coworker: “Hey. I’m getting this plastic pool. I can’t believe [Boss] marked it down so low.”

Me: “She probably wanted to get rid of it.”

Coworker: “Well, it worked. What’s in this, anyway? Do I have to get a pump and stuff?”

(It’s clearly marked on the box with a huge picture of the pump.)

Me: “It’s got the pump. All you’ll really need to get is the chlorine and water testers.”

Coworker: “Oh, if it gets algae in it, I’ll just dump bleach in it.”

(I stare a moment before telling her that’s a bad idea.)

Coworker: “Why?”

Me: “Your skin will slough off.”

(She paid and walked away, a look of confusion on her face. I don’t think the message got through, and with ideas like that, I wonder how she’s still alive.)

Pervert’s Ideas Are The Fault Of The Victims, Apparently

, , , , , | Right | November 23, 2018

I am working on putting small freight items away whilst running the register. I have fairly long hair, and to keep it from getting caught in fixtures around the store, I wear it back in a braided ponytail. As I’m picking up several boxes to put away, an elderly gentleman grabs me by the hair and proceeds to exclaim, “Look at the mane on this one!”

I have my hands full, so I can’t grab my hair back, and being shocked at his behavior, I’m scared into stillness. My coworker gets him to let go.

I walk as quickly as I can to put the items in my arms away and hide in that corner of the department until the guy leaves. I return to the register where my coworker tells me that the customer said to her, “She really shouldn’t keep her hair long like that; it gives perverts ideas.”

I just stare at her in disbelief. To this day, I have avoided that customer.

Best Answer

, , , , | Hopeless | June 11, 2018

(Im working registers when a family with two young boys, less than seven, comes up.)

Younger Boy: “Do you know who my best friend is?”

Me: “Um, is it your brother?”

Younger Boy: “Nah, he’s my super friend.”

Me: *playing along* “Of course! How silly of me. So who is your best friend?”

Younger Boy: “You are!”

(The rest of my day went by with me in a great mood because of him.)