Going To Be A Dead Pool

, , , , | Working | January 5, 2019

(I’m training a new cashier when one of my coworkers, who has the day off, comes to check out. I don’t particularly like this coworker since she has an attitude and is as dumb as a box of rocks. This interaction just proves it.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker].”

Coworker: “Hey. I’m getting this plastic pool. I can’t believe [Boss] marked it down so low.”

Me: “She probably wanted to get rid of it.”

Coworker: “Well, it worked. What’s in this, anyway? Do I have to get a pump and stuff?”

(It’s clearly marked on the box with a huge picture of the pump.)

Me: “It’s got the pump. All you’ll really need to get is the chlorine and water testers.”

Coworker: “Oh, if it gets algae in it, I’ll just dump bleach in it.”

(I stare a moment before telling her that’s a bad idea.)

Coworker: “Why?”

Me: “Your skin will slough off.”

(She paid and walked away, a look of confusion on her face. I don’t think the message got through, and with ideas like that, I wonder how she’s still alive.)

Pervert’s Ideas Are The Fault Of The Victims, Apparently

, , , , , | Right | November 23, 2018

I am working on putting small freight items away whilst running the register. I have fairly long hair, and to keep it from getting caught in fixtures around the store, I wear it back in a braided ponytail. As I’m picking up several boxes to put away, an elderly gentleman grabs me by the hair and proceeds to exclaim, “Look at the mane on this one!”

I have my hands full, so I can’t grab my hair back, and being shocked at his behavior, I’m scared into stillness. My coworker gets him to let go.

I walk as quickly as I can to put the items in my arms away and hide in that corner of the department until the guy leaves. I return to the register where my coworker tells me that the customer said to her, “She really shouldn’t keep her hair long like that; it gives perverts ideas.”

I just stare at her in disbelief. To this day, I have avoided that customer.

Best Answer

, , , , | Hopeless | June 11, 2018

(Im working registers when a family with two young boys, less than seven, comes up.)

Younger Boy: “Do you know who my best friend is?”

Me: “Um, is it your brother?”

Younger Boy: “Nah, he’s my super friend.”

Me: *playing along* “Of course! How silly of me. So who is your best friend?”

Younger Boy: “You are!”

(The rest of my day went by with me in a great mood because of him.)