Cancelling Your Cancellation Stunt

, , , , | Right | April 25, 2019

(I work as a ride-share driver. If someone requests a ride but cancels it after a certain amount of time but before they are picked up, they get charged a cancellation fee of $5. This is to make sure the drivers still get paid for their time and gas when they travel to pick someone up. If a driver cancels a ride for any reason, the rider is not charged the fee. To get around this, some riders will call the driver and ask them to cancel for them. I have just traveled 15 minutes to pick up a rider. As soon as I pull up to the address, they call me.)

Rider #1: “Hello! Hey, can you hear me?”

Me: “Hey, I’m right outside.”

Rider #1: “I am having trouble with my phone!” *hangs up*

(I wait two more minutes before calling them back.)

Me: “Hey, I’m at your address. Are you here?”

Rider #1: “I put the address in wrong. I’m actually a few blocks away. Can you cancel so I can request the ride again?”

Me: “You can update your location in the app. I’d be happy to meet you where you are to pick you up.”

Rider #1: *to someone else in the background* “He said he will come to get us here. What do I do?”

(Suddenly, someone else is on the phone.)

Rider #2: “Um, hello? Yeah, the app won’t let me change the address, so can you just cancel the ride?”

Me: “That’s fine. Just cancel through the app.”

Rider #2: “Oh, um, it won’t let me do that, either. Can’t you just cancel it?”

Me: *feigning concern* “Oh, no! Have you tried contacting [App] tech support? They can help you through everything.”

Rider #2: *pause* “You should probably just cancel. What if someone else requests a ride?”

Me: “I’m happy to wait until you get everything straightened out.”

Rider #2: “OH, F*** YOU!”

(About thirty seconds after the call ended I was able to mark them as a no-show, and they got charged the cancellation fee, anyway.)

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Check This Out

, , , , | Right | January 22, 2019

(I’m ringing up an elderly woman. Our card readers have a glitch where half the time they’ll reject a card on the first try, even though there’s nothing wrong with the card. They almost always accept it on the second try, though, and most customers don’t mind terribly when it happens to them. This woman is different.)

Customer: “Why do I have to put my card in again? Didn’t it go through?”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s a glitch in our systems, not your card. Please insert your card again.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to! What if I get charged twice?!”

Me: “I promise you won’t be; this happens a lot. You can put your card back in, here.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to do that!”

(She gets out her checkbook and starts writing a check, of all things. Despairing, keeping a neutral face, I wait as it takes an entire forty-five seconds for her to write this thing out, and another twenty seconds for the ancient check reader attached to the receipt printer to decide it approves.)

Me: *trying to put as much sickly sweetness into it as possible, handing her the receipt* “Have a nice day.”

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Her Thin Ice Is A Fair Degree Thicker

, , , , , | Right | June 21, 2018

(I take a woman’s order. I always like to ask the customers if they want something to drink as I prepare their order to go. When I ask this woman, she says no. As I’m almost done ringing her up…)

Customer: “Oh, can I also get a large ice water with ice?”

Me: “Sure! I’ll get the water before you pay!”

Customer: “Make sure you don’t forget the ice!”

Me: “I’m sure I won’t!”

(As I’m filling her cup with ice, wishing I could just happen to forget it, I fill it up with water from the sink and bring it over to the register.)

Me: *trying to be nice in my most sarcastic way so she won’t pick up on it, and smiling* “Here’s your ice water with ice!”

Customer: “Thanks!” *completely serious* “And there’s ice in there, right?”

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