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Will Not Apologize For That Phrasing Choice

, , , , | Related | October 10, 2017

(A local theater company my family has been involved with for many years has recently gone through a change in leadership, resulting in some… unique situations. Many of the recent decisions have come across as direct attacks against me and my family, including the recent shutdown of a popular, successful, and influential teen group that I was president of, only to be replaced a few days later by a group that has no apparent differences except that we are not involved and the board, presumably, has much more control. While I hold no ill will against them for this, my parents are less forgiving.)

Mom: “Sometime before the first meeting of the new group, I want to post exactly what led up to the shutdown of the first group.”

Me: “Uh, okay, great, but… when you post it, can you try to be a little less confrontational than will come naturally to you?”

Mom: “Oh, don’t worry. I’m going to phrase it as an apology.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Mom: “Yes, I’m going to apologize that we got the group shut down by refusing to be the board’s doormats.”

Me: “…”

Mom: “Because we stood up for what we believed in, instead of bowing down to their so-called supremacy created through shadow government. They decided the only solution was to snatch the group away from all of the teens and create a new one where they have all the power.”

Me: “…O-Oh.”

Mom: “Not what you were thinking?”

Me: “I think we’re back to my original question.”

A Special Kind Of Miserable That Lasts All Day

, , , , , | Right | October 6, 2017

(I’m a cashier, and a customer enters my line just past noon.)

Customer: “Good morning!”

Me: “Well, technically it’s not anymore.”

Customer: “Aw, it’s always morning! There are always eight more hours to get things done.”

Me: “But if it was always morning, then I’d always be miserable. Wait, that’s accurate. Good morning, sir.”

Let Slip How Lazy They Are

, , , , | Working | September 27, 2017

(I have to close the store one night with the laziest coworker there. It is routine to retrieve carts that are outside and bring them in. On this particular night, there are about seven carts outside. It is snowing, leaving the parking lot slick and dangerous. Due to unfortunate circumstances, my work boots have been destroyed, making it difficult to traverse across the ice.)

Me: “Hey, could you get the carts for me tonight? I’m afraid I’d be falling everywhere if I tried.”

Lazy Coworker: “I’m not really feeling it, tonight. I’m gonna just smoke my cigarette and finish up the rest of the closing procedure afterward.”

(I roll my eyes, as this is typical of his behavior, and continue the trek out into the icy parking lot. There’s one cart that’s at the complete other end of the parking lot, about 100 yards away, which results in much slipping and sliding all the way there and all the way back. After gathering all of the carts and falling on my bum at least twice, I finally make it back into the store.)

Lazy Coworker: “Wow. That looked like it hurt. Glad I decided to stay inside.”

This story is part of our Nothing roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Infuriating Stories About Lazy Customers


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The Supreme Court Handles Gay Rights, The Constitution, And Free Desserts

, , , | Right | September 3, 2017

(A man orders a piece of salmon at our restaurant. Later, he complains that the one on the menu looks bigger than what he gets. After the customer argues with the server and the manager for about 15 minutes, the manager reluctantly takes 25% off his entrée. This exchange occurs when he sees his server again:)

Customer: “How about you give me a dessert for free and we’ll call it even?”

Server: “No.”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Server: “It is even, sir. We have already taken 25% off your dish, even though it’s against our restaurant’s policy. There is nothing I can do to change that.”

Customer: “Well, what the f*** is this?”

Server: “[Restaurant] in [City, State].”

Customer: “I want a dessert for free to make things even!”

Server: “Sir, I can’t do th—”

Customer: “I will go to the f****** U.S. Supreme Court if I have to!”

Server: “You do that. Have a nice night.”

(The man didn’t leave a tip, nor did anyone else at his table, but a nearby table enjoyed the comedy show and left enough to cover it.)

This story is part of the dessert day roundup!

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The Wife Took All Your Money

, , , | Right | August 31, 2017

(I am working at the register one day and an elderly gentleman comes up to my desk.)

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if I could get my money back?”

(He hands me a couple of receipts stapled together.)

Me: “I’m happy to help. Whatcha got?”

Customer: “I sent my wife in here yesterday to get my money back. I still don’t have it.”

(Looking at the receipts, I see the initial purchase was a few days ago for a couple items, and the newer receipt is from the day prior, with my Employee ID on the top.)

Me: “Well, your wife did return everything from the initial purchase, and I gave the total back to her. There’s really nothing more I can do at this point.”

Customer: “So, can I get my money back?”

Me: “Your wife has it, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, okay… So… can I get my money back here?”