Unfiltered Story #191269

, , | Unfiltered | April 1, 2020

(I’m a manager at a chain restaurant. Halfway through the day, we have this amazing exchange with a drive-thru customer.)

Cashier: Hi, how are you?

Customer: Do you still have your cinnamon deserts?

(We do change items fairly often, so it’s not an unreasonable question.)

Cashier: Yes, we do.

Customer: How do those come?

Cashier: You can buy them in a 2-pack, a 4-pack, or a 12-pack.

Customer: Oh, okay! How many come in a 2-pack?

(We all stop and turn to look at the drivethru speaker.)

Cashier: I – I’m sorry, could you repeat that?

Customer: How many come in a 2-pack?

(She’s completely serious. Not a hint of embarrassment or laughter in her voice. Everyone except the cashier LOSES it.)

Cashier: Uh… 2?

Customer: Great! Can I get a 2-pack and a large drink?

(It takes us 15 minutes to stop laughing. Customer never acted like anything was out of the ordinary at all!)

Ultra-Thin Patience

, , , , | Right | March 13, 2020

(I’m working the speedy checkout line and checking a young woman out when an older gentleman of about eighty appears behind her, looking as if he rolled out of bed and drove straight here.)

Me: “Good morning, sir. How are—”

(He literally throws a package of ultra-thin condoms at me, along with a twenty.)

Me: “Would you like this in a bag, sir?”

Customer: *grunts angrily*

(I ring him up, and the drawer opens to give him his change.)

Customer: “Can you keep the change as a tip?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t accept tips.”

Customer: *angrily* “Well, hurry up, then! She’s at home waiting for me!”

Me: “I am doing my best, sir.”

(I count out his change.)

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

(He then grumbled, snatched the bag from me, and then proceeded to run out the door.)

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Scarier Than Cabin In The Woods

, , , , | Right | January 14, 2020

(The resort I work for has many rental units from campsites to deluxe cabins open year-round. I’m currently taking phone calls.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “You got any cabins available?”

Me: “For when? For tonight?”

(When people ask this and give no date, it’s for “tonight” 90% of the time, but not this guy:)

Customer: “Ah, no. For [two days from now].”

Me: “It looks like most of our cabins are still open that day.”

(I try to further help him find the cabin that’s right for him, because we have 50+ cabins, and a dozen different layouts and sizes.)

Me: “Do you know which cabin you wanted to rent? Or about what size you needed, like how many bedrooms you need, or how many people you’ll have?”

Customer: “Well, uh, nah. I just wanted to… Hey, how much are they?”

Me: “It would depend on what size cabin you wanted; they range from $160 a night to $600 per night.”

Customer: “Wow, okay, so you can’t tell me how much they are?”

Me: “We have several different sizes of cabins that are all a different cost; it would depend on what size cabin you needed.”

Customer: “I mean, I just wanted to know how much the cabins were.”

(I’m starting to get frustrated at this point; he’s not giving me any information to help him.)

Me: “If you don’t know what size cabin you need, all I can say is that they range from $160 to $600 per night.”

Customer: “Ah, okay, well, tell me what cabin you would like.”

(There’s a very noticeable pause here, because I just can’t fathom how he thinks that will help. I’m thinking I’ll either recommend a one-bedroom cabin that’s too small, or a five-bedroom cabin that costs too much.)

Me: “We have a lot of different options; if you can tell me about how many people you have I can give you a better idea of cost. Do you think it will be two or three people?”

Customer: “Nah, nah, not that many. Uh, um. Well, let me see. So, it may be like eight or ten people.”

(At the lack of basic math skills, I start to suspect prank call, then realize that’s just what I wish it was. My gut tells me he’s just this dumb, but I’m relieved I finally have something to go off of and can start selling.)

Me: “Okay, so, a lot of our cabins can hold six people maximum, and we have just a couple that can hold ten people. A good cabin that would fit your group is the [Cabin #1]; it has [lists all it includes], plus a hot tub outside on the deck. This cabin is $529 per night for one to six people, and $20 more per person after that. So, ten people is $609 per night.”

Customer: “Wow, so really, $600?”

Me: “If you had ten people, yes.”

Customer: “What if I had two people?”

(With most people, I’d suggest a smaller cabin if they only have two people, but this guy seems to be deliberately ignorant, so he’s losing my sympathy.)

Me: “Then it would be $529 per night.”

Customer: “What if I had four people?”

Me: “$529 per night.”

Customer: “Okay, what if the cabin had a hot tub?”

Me: “This cabin does have a hot tub.”

Customer: “Okay, nice, how much is that cabin?”

Me: “That’s the cabin we’re talking about, the [Cabin #1]; it’s $529 per night for one to six people, $609 per night for ten people.”

(Then, his most genuinely insightful line of dialogue is delivered:)

Customer: “Hmm, well, you know, I think I might do a bit more research before deciding. I’ll call you back.”

Me: “Okay, have a nice day.”

​​Customer: *click*

(Every one of our cabins is listed on our website, including photos of inside and out, floor plans, and prices. I also noticed the phone number he dialed to reach us is only listed on the website, so he’d already been to the site once, and decided to call instead of finding the answers for himself.)

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Unfiltered Story #181209

, , | Unfiltered | January 2, 2020

(I run a convenience store. I’ve been here forever so I know almost every customer and what they buy except for out of townerns)

*car pulls in with out of state plates*
Woman: “hey, can I buy power ball tickets on my card?”

Me: “Yes if you run it as a debit.”

Woman: “Can I get five dollars on the powerball”

Me: “They are two dollars each”

Woman: “I guess just give me five dollars”

Me: “I can add the extra option to one ticket and the regular easy pick on another, that would make it five dollars ”

Woman: “Just give me six dollars worth then”

Me: “Okay just slide your card there and it will ask you a couple of questions”

*she slides her card then stares at the terminal*

Woman: “Do I press the green button or the red X for credit?”

Me*slowly dying* “You have to run your card as debit to purchase lottery tickets”

*she then yells at me and leaves without buying anything*

You Can’t Fail Email If You Don’t Have It

, , , , | Right | November 27, 2019

(My tractor supply store has a rewards program that we offer to customers so they can earn discounts for shopping with us. The only downside is that the customer needs to provide both a phone number and an email address in order to sign up. Most of my customers are older and don’t have computers, but I’m supposed to ask if they’d like to join anyway. Today, I had this interaction.)

Me: “And are you a member of our rewards program, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah. Phone number [number].”

(I find his account and see he doesn’t have an email registered to this account. It’s a common bug for there to be more than one account for a customer, but the phone number for one gets deleted. Luckily, we can get around that.)

Me: “You’ve given your email address to use before, right?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Okay, then. Let’s search for you that way. May I have your email address, please?”

Customer: “What are you talking about? I don’t have an email, let alone a computer!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but in order for you to get discounts and be a member we have to have an email to provide you with your coupons.”

Customer: “Well, that’s dumb!”

(Gotta love people, especially when they listen.)

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