Time To Make A Stand

, , , , | Healthy | May 9, 2018

(My parents and I are sitting in the ER waiting room, waiting for my mom’s test results to come back. It’s very early in the morning, and the waiting room is quite small, so the few of us in there are all within eyesight of each other, except one woman sitting on the other side of a pillar from us. We’ve been there for a few minutes when a nurse comes in, carrying an armload of cleaning supplies. She walks over to the woman behind the pillar.)

Nurse: “Where was that man sitting?”

Woman: “Oh, three chairs over from me.”

(You can see everyone in the room count three chairs over from this woman… where another woman happens to be sitting. As soon as she realizes this, she tenses up and the guy next to her recoils away. The nurse awkwardly approaches.)

Nurse: “I need to clean this chair. The man who was sitting there had an… um… accident in his pants.”

(She immediately gathered all of her stuff and moved chairs, whispering somewhat-panicked statements to her male companion about whatever it was she was sitting in without realizing. We were called back before her, but the rest of the time we were there, she was sitting on the edge of her new chair, trying to touch as little as possible. You know you’re having a bad day when you’re in the ER at 1:00 am and find out you’re sitting in a stranger’s “accident.”)

You Bring In Baggage, You Leave With It

, , , , | Right | May 7, 2018

(This store is well-known for selling “personal” and “adult-oriented” items. You really shouldn’t give attitude to those who sell you these things, smack-dab in the middle of a very popular mall. When we ring up customers, as with many other stores, it asks us to ask them for an email address. Some people feel it necessary to be incredibly rude when they don’t want to give us their email. My manager is dealing with a customer who is buying one of the aforementioned “personal” items.)

Manager: “Can I get your email address?”

Customer: *in a very rude tone* “I don’t have one!”

Manager: “Do you know anyone who does? You can get a 20% off coupon for next time you come in.”

Customer: *with even more attitude* “I said I don’t have one!”

(The transaction is completed. My manager slides the personal item to the customer, sans bag.)

Customer: “Can I get a bag?”

Manager: *while walking away* “I don’t have one.”

You Have Goth To Be Kidding

, , , , , | Friendly | May 5, 2018

(We just finished auditioning for “High School Musical” and are making small talk with the director, who knows most of us pretty well. The audition dealt a lot with the different cliques in the show and how they would be portrayed, so our conversation inevitably drifts to that.)

Actor: “I asked [Musical Director] if we could have an emo clique, but he said emos can’t be in musicals.”

Director: “Well, actually, I’m thinking there will be a group of… I think I’ll call them, ‘Utility Students’… who will play different things in different scenes. Like, sometimes if I need two extra brainiacs, they’ll be brainiacs. So they’ll probably be emos and goths for at least one scene.”

Actor: *extremely cheerful and upbeat* “Yes! I am amazing at being emo! Like, seriously, I know I’m wearing a colorful sweater right now, but my entire wardrobe is black and blacker. I’m the most emo person you’ve ever met!”

(They didn’t seem to catch the irony.)

Real Life Tweeting Is So Much More Fulfilling

, , , | Hopeless | May 1, 2018

(My store sells baby chickens in the spring, so before we get them, we set up tanks and fence gates in the middle of the store to attract attention. A father and a little girl come in one morning.)

Little Girl: *gasp!* “Baby chickens!”

(She looks in the tanks, which are empty.)

Little Girl: “Where are the baby chickens?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sweetie, but they’re not here yet. They’ll be here soon.”

Little Girl: “How soon? In a few minutes?”

Me: “No, just a few more days, kiddo.”

Little Girl: “Oh. They are here sometimes, though.”

Me: “That’s right, and I certainly hope your Daddy will bring you back to see them.”

Her Father: “Had you not said it, she’d be begging me, anyway.”

Don’t Hate The Player; Hate The Seller

, , , , , | Working | April 18, 2018

(I’m at a fairly popular gaming store in search of a video game that came out yesterday. The company producing the video game is notorious for not producing enough stock.)

Cashier: “Can I help you?”

Me: “Uh, yes. I was wondering if you had [Game]?”

Cashier: “I think they’re all sold out except pre-orders. Hold on.”

(He goes around to computer. I follow him and stand across the counter.)

Cashier: “Yeah, looks like we only have pre-orders. You really should have pre-ordered it; they never stock enough.”

Me: “Well, not usually games… I know they didn’t stock much of [Console #1] or [Console #2]—”

Cashier: *interrupting before I can finish the name of [Console #2]* “No. They always sell out. You should have pre-ordered it. Wait, it looks like we do have one. But only one. So, you should have pre-ordered it.” *turns around to grab the game*

Me: “I guess. But I didn’t really have the money—”

Cashier: *still not facing me, incredibly judgemental* “You didn’t have five dollars?”

Me: *I pause, taken off-guard by his tone* “I didn’t know if I would have the money to pay it off when it came out.”

Cashier: *now talking to and looking at me like I’m a small child* “You can pay a little bit at a time. A little money here… a little money there… and then you’re guaranteed to have the game.”

Me: “I’ll think about it.”

Cashier: “You should have pre-ordered it.”

Me: “Well—”

Cashier: “You’re guaranteed the game.”

Me: “…”

Cashier: “Do you have a rewards card?”

Me: “Not with me. Is there an alternate ID option?”

Cashier: “Phone number.”

Me: “Uh…”

(It’s my brother’s card, but I can’t remember his phone number. I reach for my phone to load it up, hoping the card has more than one number attached.)

Me: “It might be [Dad’s Phone Number].”

Cashier: “Nope.”

Me: *looking at my brother’s phone number* “Oh, it’s—”

Cashier: *interrupting me again* “Your total is [price].”

(At this point, I was tired of his attitude and just wanted to get out of the store, so I didn’t push the issue and just handed him the money. After handing me the game, he started to say something else. Fortunately, one of my friends ran in and gave me the excuse to talk to him and leave before I had to listen to anything else. I understand that pre-ordering can be a good choice and, yes, it guarantees you the game, but seriously? You don’t get to reprimand your customers for not pre-ordering. That’s not cool.)

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