Words Are Pretty But Hugs Are Beautiful

, , , | | Hopeless | June 4, 2019

(I’m at work and feeling incredibly lousy. I went to the hospital last night for an ongoing migraine and in the mix of meds they gave me to help, Benadryl was one. This results in me being sluggish and tired, and on top of that, my head still hurts, so I’m not at the top of my game. I’ve been told today that I look like h***, too. An hour or so before closing, a family I went to school with comes in with their young son who is talking up a storm. He eventually walks past where I’m currently straightening up stock and says something that really lifts my spirits.)

Kid: “You’re really pretty, miss. I like you. You’re always nice to me.”

(This causes me to tear up a bit, and I turn to the parents.)

Me: “Can I hug your son?”

Mom: “Of course! Sweetie, the nice lady wants a hug.”

Kid: “But… you’re working. Won’t you get in trouble?”

Me: *in a sneaky voice* “Not if the boss doesn’t see.”

(He eagerly comes and gives me a hug, which I happily return.)

Me: *to him* “Thanks for your kind words, kiddo. You have no idea how much I needed that today.” *to parents* “You guys are doing an amazing job raising him. Thank you.”

(The parents thanked me in return and I got the kid a candy bar. I still felt horrible, but the kid’s words really helped my morale.)

Time To Bail On This Scam

, , , , , , | | Friendly | May 25, 2019

(Two ladies behind me on the bus are chatting.)

Lady: “Oh, I got a call yesterday from some fellow claiming to be a sheriff from someplace in Utah.”

Friend: “Oh, what did he want?”

Lady: “He said my grandson was in jail and I needed to send him bail money right away.”

Friend: “You don’t have any grandsons.”

Lady: “Yeah. So, I asked him if it was ‘Randall.’”

Friend: “And?”

Lady: “He said yes, and I told him to forget it. Said I never liked that little s***, anyway, and he could stay in jail.”

(Fortunately, I had to get off the bus then, or I’d have burst out laughing.)

Always Lives Up To It

, , , , , , | | Right | May 22, 2019

(This happens literally every time this customer comes into the bank:)

Me: “Hi. How are you?”

Customer: “I’m well, and you?”

Me: “Good, thanks! What can I do for you?”

(Then, there’s more small talk as I do his transaction.)

Customer: “I think I saw you the other day on [Street]. I didn’t know you lived there.”

Me: “No, that wasn’t me; I don’t live over there.”

Customer: “Oh, well, where do you live?”

Me: “…”

(I give him a different answer about where I live every single time. It’s never the correct street or even near my house, yet he asks me where I live every time he sees me. No.)

Parked Quite Nicely On This Site

, , , , , | Right | March 27, 2019

(I’m reading Not Always Right stories when my dad, a store manager at a local gas station chain, walks into my room.)

Dad: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Reading Not Always Right.”

Dad: “What?”

Me: “Reading Not Always Right. You know, bad customer stories? ‘The customer is—’”

Dad: “Oh! I can tell you a lot of those. Actually, I can show you one right now…”

(He pulls out his phone and loads up a picture of a truck parked in his gas station parking lot, ‘parked’ being a relative term. The truck is about three feet away from the pump, turned diagonally, and blocking the pump next to it, too, as well as two parking places.)

Dad: “This is how you park at a gas station, right?”

Don’t Miss A Spot With Your Job Security

, , , , , | Working | February 22, 2019

(I’m working at my uncle’s restaurant for a few weeks over the summer. Being new to the job, I’m mostly doing dishes. As I’m washing dishes, one of my coworker brings in a tray of more dishes. As she leaves, I say:)

Me: *pumping fist in the air* “JOB SECURITY!”

(After that, whenever someone brought in more dishes, we’d both laugh and say, “Job security!”)

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