I was doing a small brochure site for a client when he requested some revisions. I did the revisions as requested and dropped him an email saying all was good.

I got a call a few hours later from him with this story.

Client: “Hi, it’s [Client]. My brother has just been made redundant and is desperate for money. He wants to do this website and for me to pay him for it. How much will it cost me to knock the website on the head now and give it to him to do?”

Me: “As I’m just waiting on copy and other small bits and pieces, a figure of 75% of the agreed amount is fair.”

Client: “I’ll think about it and call you back.”

I got a call ten minutes later from the client who was now yelling.

Client: “[My Name], you’re just not doing what I’m asking. You’re not listening to me and you’re ignoring what I want! The text I wanted is there, but it’s small and black. I asked for a big, bold heading in red! I don’t want to continue. You’re not doing what I’m paying you for.”

I was shocked and genuinely offended, but as he gave the vital “the text is there but not how I want it,” I could instantly ascertain that his browser had cached the stylesheet. I explained this to him in a surprisingly cool and collected manner, at which point, he realised that it wasn’t my fault at all.

He was really really apologetic, but relations were different after that.

Incidentally, the project did end up getting cancelled early, as he refused to pay for any more revisions.

I’m helping a client design a website. We’re choosing fonts.

Client: “That font right there! It’s clean yet edgy. There’s no way I’ve seen that font before; I would’ve remembered! What font is that?”

Me: “Arial.”

I’m creating a new design for a client’s website. After the third round of changes, the client is happy and approves our new design. We code it and send the URL over for approval before launching.

Client: “Hmm. Looks all right. But could you try the logo a bit smaller and in the center?”

Me: “Sure, like this?”

Client: “Yeah, no, that didn’t look as good as I thought. Change it back. And could you try the sidebar in darker purple?”

Me: “Sure, like this?”

Client: “Yeah, like that! But now the content boxes look a bit bleak. Could you make them stand out more?”

And so on. This goes on for about seven rounds of editing (and about seven times I manage to talk them out of something). We get closer and closer to the original, until:

Me: “Look, you approved the design. Any changes are heaps easier to do in Photoshop than on the actual site with code. What are we doing here?”

Client: “Oh, sorry. I’m used to working this way. By the way, I talked to our AD and he had some good points. I’ll send them over.”

I receive a PowerPoint that’s similar to our first design but requires fresh coding and work. The back and forth occurs five more times.

Me: “All right. Like that?”

Client: “Yeah, that’s good enough, I guess. But we decided to postpone the launch until after summer, so just save it somewhere and we’ll pick this up in August or something. I trust you won’t invoice us since you haven’t delivered anything yet.”

I am helping a client with a design.

Client: “I don’t know… I don’t like the blue and white together.”

Me: “What’s the problem with the colors?”

Client: “It looks Argentinean.”

Me: “So?”

Client: “The new Pope is Argentinean and we are not a religious firm. So, please, change all the colors.”

Client: “I thought you said the website was friendly.”

Me: “It is. What issues did you experience?”

Client: “I typed in my password and I got the error. “Access Denied. Wrong Password”.”

Me: “If you would like, I can give you your username and password.”

Client: “A friendly website would’ve given me my password.”

Me: “Did you click on “Forgot my Password”?”

Client: “No, I didn’t forget it.”

An hour later, I got an email from the client telling me he forgot his password. He was wondering if there was a recovery system in place.