Client: “We would like a fully interactive website for our members. We have already created a lot of the content, and we have put together a couple of CDs full of images from our archives for you to choose from. However, one thing that annoys me about websites is this whole ‘scrolling’ thing. I find scrolling really annoying. Would it be possible for you to build a site that doesn’t scroll?”

Me: “Um, I’m not sure I understand. Do you mean when the page is too wide and you have to scroll right to read all the text?”

Client: “No, I mean scrolling down the page.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond. At this point, the client’s secretary interjected to point out to the client that websites have to scroll or they don’t really work.

Client: “Yes, but our brochures don’t scroll, and they contain lots of information.”

The secretary and I stared, speechless.

Client: “Well, okay. We can come back to that later.”

The client finally got the new site, and even though you had to scroll, was very pleased with it.

My client, a marketing director, tends to be very particular about consistency in point sizes across various pieces.  

Me: “I can’t get this headline to wrap properly!”

Client: “What about rewording it to fit?”

Me: “I’ve tried that; nothing seems to make it fit.”

Client: “Just make the point size bigger.”

One of the other designers at the table points out that it will break the consistency across the ads.

Client: “Consistency doesn’t mean doing the same thing all the time.”

No one knew how to respond to that.

I was working on-site for a client for several months. He then started questioning every point of the invoice.

Client: “I didn’t see you on Wednesday, so I am not going to pay you for it.”

Me: “I was here; you didn’t see me because you weren’t in the office on Wednesday.”

It was at this point that I decided to cease our relationship.

I had a potential client that asked me to stop by their office for a consultation on redesigning their current website. When she offered to show me her current site this is what she did (and I wish I was exaggerating).

She opened Internet Explorer, which defaulted to Google’s site. In the Google search field, she typed in “Yahoo . com”, clicked Search, and in the results, clicked the Yahoo paid ad. Then, in Yahoo’s search box, she entered her website’s URL, clicked Search, and in Yahoo’s results, she clicked the third link from the top.

Me: “Do you do this every time?”

Client: “How else do you expect me to find my website?!”

A client asked me to build a website with very specific colors (grey and white) and even gave me a website to base the design on. Then:

Client: “There isn’t enough color on the site.”

Me: “But you specifically asked for only grey and white.”

Client: “I know, but it doesn’t have enough color.”

Me: “Okay, we’ll tweak the original idea. Did you have any colours in mind?”

Client: “Let’s go with something bright and matching.”

Me: “Luckily, almost any color will go with white and grey as the base palette.”

Client: “How about black?”

Me: “…especially black.”