(A non-profit organization asked our company to write a proposal for a web site design. I present our proposal to a group of about 15 people, including the president of the organization.)

Me: “When you want to add a new page to the web site, you can type it here. If you want, the system can send new content to someone in your organization for review before it goes live.”

Client: “Can you give me an example of when we would do this?”

Me: “Well, if you want, you can have your legal people review the new text before it goes up on the site, so, you know… you don’t get sued because of–”

President: “Sued?! Who’s suing us? I don’t want to get sued!”

Me: “No, I’m just saying your legal people could review any changes to the site–”

President: “This guy is telling me we could be sued! I don’t like this!”

Me: “No, it’s so you WOULDN’T be sued. But that’s just an example. It’s just if someone wants to read the content before–”

President: “I do not like the sound of this at all.”

(We didn’t get the job.)

Client: “In the future, I’d prefer not to pay you to make websites for me. I’ve seen what you do, and I think it’s pretty easy. Can you just teach me how to do your web stuff?”

Me: “If you’re really interested, I guess I can teach you the basics of web design, but it’s going to require at least several lessons and it’ll cost $[amount] for every hour I spend with you.

Client: “GOD, do you have to charge for everything?!”

Me: “So, let me get this straight. You want your insurance website to look like the Walt Disney World site?”

Client: “Yes, because [the Walt Disney World site] seems so happy and fun. When people visit our site, they should feel like buying insurance is fun!”

Me: “Um, okay… so is there anything else you’d like?”

(The client thinks for a few moments.)

Client: “Rollercoasters! I like rollercoasters!”

Me: *face palm*