I got this text from one of my clients at about 11:00 pm on a Thursday night.

Client: “My a**e hurts.”

I deliberated for hours about whether I should text back or not, knowing that the client would realize at some point that he had accidentally sent such a personal text to his web designer. In the end, I chose to ignore it. We haven’t spoken since.

Client: “I don’t want to use non-moving buttons on the website for navigation. Buttons are going the way of the dinosaur.”

Me: “What would you like me to use?”

Client: “A looping movie where the customer has to click on the fast-moving objects to navigate through the site. It will keep them on their toes.”

Me: “…”

Client: “Find four images attached to this mail; just choose the two you think fit best on the website!”

Fifteen minutes later:

Me: “Thanks! You can look at it here.” *Sends the URL*

Client: “You’ve chosen the wrong two images!”

I get a call from a client.

Client: “Hello, I have an idea for a website. It will be a site about corrupted lawyers and politicians. America is ready to know the truth! We will put a lot of links on it and millions will come to the site. After that, we are going to sell it for $10,000,000!  And my webmaster will get 20%!”

Me: “It will take time and a lot of work for your website to attract that many people.”

Client: “YOU DON’T WANT TO MAKE TWO MILLION DOLLARS?! THEN I DON’T WANT TO BE F****** TALKING TO YOU!”

And they hung up.

Me: “As soon as you get us the pricing database, we need five weeks to build the online quoting application. If we get it this week, we can do a September first launch.”

Four weeks later…

Client: “Here is the pricing database. Sorry for the delay. So, we are still good for the September first launch, right?”