Is It 2003?!
Client: “I’ve never really used Google before. Who do you ask on it?”
Me: “Ask on it?”
Client: “Yes, well, on AskJeeves, I just asked Jeeves. Do you ask the Google to find you something?”
Me: “We have a lot to catch you up on.”
Oh, Baby… Please Don’t Do Any Of This
I’m in a brainstorming session for a prenatal care website.
Client #1: “How hard would it be to have an unborn baby on the homepage that ushers you through the site?”
Client #2: “That would be creepy. What about just a regular out-of-the-womb baby?”
Client #1: “But then that’s not really pre-natal care, is it?”
Client #2: “True. Yeah, let’s stick with the unborn baby.”
Ah, We’ve Found A Place To Throw Bad Clients
My client is looking at Google Maps.
Client: “The arrow isn’t pointing to our company’s location. Can you change that?”
Me: “What arrow? The map doesn’t have an arrow. It’s just a map of your general location.”
Client: “How can you not see the giant arrow right there? Just fix it, man.”
It turned out it was an arrow-shaped lake.
Out Of Scope And Out Of Hope
Client: “Quick, what rhymes with ‘homepage’?”
Me: “Why?”
Client: “I’m making a song for the conference call, and I’m stuck.”
Me: “Roam… cage?”
Client: “…”
Me: “…”
Client: “That’s what you’re going with? ‘Roam cage’? And we hired you because you’re artistic?”
Do You Know What Headlines Are For?
Client: “Why is this line bigger and bolder than the rest?”
Me: “Because it’s a headline.”
Client: “Well then, make the whole site a headline.”