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Does Your Mom Run The Business?

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2022

After designing a new brand identity, website, and business cards for a local motel, they waited until the site, business cards, and uniforms were ordered to “change their mind.”

Me: “That was why we went through that lengthy process of developing the logo: to build the rest of your items around it.”

Client: “Yeah, but my mom doesn’t like it. She says she can’t understand what it says. I need a new logo within the next couple of days. We’re way behind now.”

Me: “I don’t understand. The type is very clear. What is she having a hard time understanding?”

Client: “Well, it’s in German. She doesn’t speak German.”

Me: “Sir, I had nothing to do with the naming of your business. You’re the one that picked that name. How does your mother not speaking German relate to me?”

Client: “It doesn’t, I guess.”

Like… The ENTIRE Internet?

, , , | Right | June 11, 2022

Client: “Can you send me a picture of the logo to use on our website?”

Me: “Sure, is there a particular size you need?”

Client: “I’m not sure. Do you know? Whatever size fits on the Internet would work, I think.”

Because… That’s How Business Works?

, , , , | Right | May 31, 2022

I made a webshop for a client three months ago. It was exactly as promised and the client uses it daily.

Client: “I want a new webshop.”

Me: “Okay, cool. First, pay for the website I finished three months ago. Your bill is three months overdue. After I’ve received your payment I will make another webshop for you.”

Client: “Why?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Client: “Why should I pay you?”

Me: “Because I made a webshop for you?”

Client: “Yes, and thanks for that, but I don’t have any money in my bank account, so again: why should I pay you?”

How Do These People Even Stay Alive?

, , , , | Right | May 30, 2022

I’m working on a website project for a client. My contact is a marketing company who I’ve worked with before. Although I can see that the end client is CCed into all my communications and should be up to speed on what I’m doing, they don’t offer any input. I get on quickly and finish the site.

Two weeks pass after I’ve completed and submitted an invoice. I phone my marketing contact.

Me: “Hey, I haven’t been paid for that website.”

Contact: “Are you really surprised?”

Me: “Well, they didn’t seem that eager, but still, the job is done. I don’t have time to chase them, so I might have to pass it on to my lawyer. I hope that won’t spoil your relationship with them.”

Contact: “Oh, well, they had trouble paying for electricity and such when I was there. One day, the phones cut out because they were too late paying, so that was their attitude to money. You can try, but I doubt you’ll get anything.”

Me: “Wait. They were having trouble paying to keep the lights on?”

Contact: “Yeah! I know, I couldn’t believe it!”

Me: “And at what point exactly did you decide to introduce me and this project to them?”

Contact: “Well, it was still a good idea. They paid your deposit, didn’t they? Just take down their website; it wasn’t that much, after all.”

Me: “Generally, I don’t like to bankrupt clients with my services. They don’t have admin access to the site until they’ve fully paid. I could ruin their reputation. I could steal all their clients’ information. I could take any money made through orders. Do you not think it might have been easier not to suggest the project to them if they couldn’t afford it?”

Contact: “Yeah, well, I was just happy to get paid, but those all seem like good ideas to recoup your loss.”

If It Ain’t Broke, STOP EMAILING ME

, , , | Right | May 29, 2022

I deliver a website to a client, and after one month, he starts sending me angry emails that the contact form on his website doesn’t seem to work.

I check the contact form, I test it again and again, and I don’t find any problem. I send them an email through the contact form.

Client: “Thank you! Now it works!”

The very next day, they sent me again another angry email that the form had stopped working again. I ran a bunch of tests but could not find any problem, much less a solution. The form seemed to be working with all the different emails I tested it with.

Long story short, the form had always worked. They hadn’t tested it and assumed that, because no new clients came in through it, it was broken.