Client: “I want the website font to be Impact, but italic Impact.”
Me: “I don’t think Impact even supports italics.”
Client: “Can you make it work?”
Me: “I can try, but honestly, it’s a really bad idea for a few reasons.”
Client: “Just do it.”
My inner typographer died during this project — especially when I presented it and the CEO asked, “Why is the font so ugly?”…
…AFTER the project went online and all the print materials were done.
As a copywriter, I’ve had plenty of eye-rolling moments, but I’ve thankfully only ever had to deal with one real a**ehole.
They need a website. I write all the copy. A few days later, I receive an email.
Client’s Email: “This is all wrong. You’ve completely misinterpreted the brief. It will have to be rewritten from scratch.”
Shocked, I set up an emergency meeting, drop everything, and rush over to his offices. It is a small company, and nearly everyone appears to be sitting in on our meeting.
Me: “I’m really sorry about this, but we can fix it. Let’s start at the first page.”
Client: “I don’t like the first sentence.”
He continues reading silently.
Client: “But the rest of it’s okay.”
I suggest alternate wording.
Me: “What about the next page?”
He reads silently.
Client: “Yeah, that’s okay.”
Me: “Page three?”
The client reads it — I’m guessing for the first time.
Client: “I don’t like that word. The rest is fine.”
And so on.
There were eighteen pages of copy. I ended up having to change six sentences. It took me fifteen minutes. Attending the meeting took up half a day. There was no apology.
Later, the client tried to stiff me for my fee, arguing that the briefing process took far longer than he’d anticipated. I’d fixed (and he’d agreed to) my fee AFTER I’d taken the brief.
I am working on a design for an interactive online documentary.
Client: “I want to make sure that this project is incredibly interactive so users feel like they’re contributing their experience.”
Me: “That’s very exciting! What sort of thing were you thinking?”
Client: “Well, for instance, let’s do this page with text so that it looks like an article.”
Me: “What’s interactive about that?”
Client: “You can scroll down!”
I had the pleasure of speaking to a guy who would make an obnoxious buzzer noise every time I suggested anything he didn’t like, instead of saying so like a human being.
Me: “So, how about we make the background light blue?”
Client: “EEEEHH.”
Me: “Um, all right. You seemed to like green?”
Client: “EEEHHH.”
Me: “…”
Luckily, the project fell through.
Client: “We want a new video embedded on the website, under the box.”
Me: “When you say, ‘under the box,’ do you mean under box one or under box two? There are two boxes.”
Client: “We mean we want the video embedded, like the other videos that are embedded on the website already.”
Me: “Yes, but do you want it under box one or box two?”
Client: “We would like it under the box.”
