As Blank As His Brain

| CA, USA | Right | June 7, 2011

(I am trying to help a customer retrieve a lost page on his website.)

Customer: “So, why was my page lost in the first place?”

Me: “Well, I’m not sure, sir. What were you doing before you lost the page?”

Customer: “I was editing it.”

Me: “Okay, what part did you edit?”

Customer: “Well, I edited the heading, and I noticed the page was blank when I was scrolling down.

Me: “So, why did you click save?”

Customer: “Well, I thought it would just pop back up.”

Me: “No, sir. You just saved a blank page over what you had, and erased everything.”

Customer: “Well, you guys should put that in big bold letters at the top of the page. ‘Don’t save page if main area is blank!’.”

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Intelligence Goes Into The Trash Can

| Chicago, IL, USA | Right | October 6, 2010

Customer: “I had something typed up that I was going to send you. Tell me, how do you find a file that you’ve lost on your computer? I know it’s on here somewhere, but I can’t find it.”

Me: “Oh, well, go to the upper right hand corner–”

Customer: “I’ve tried that! I couldn’t find the file!”

Me: “Hmm. Do you remember what the file name was?”

Customer: “I don’t think it had a file name!”

Me: “Well, did you save it as ‘Untitled’, then?”

Customer: “I don’t think I saved it…”

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Stupidity That Makes You Go Wow

| Henderson, NV, USA | Right | September 9, 2010

Customer: “I wanted to know about SEO. What’s that?”

Me: “SEO is Search Engine Optimization. In a nutshell, I can help you to get noticed by search engines.”

Customer: “So, you’re SEO are you? I want to meet him.”

Me: “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

Customer: “SEO is the name of a friend of mine in World of Warcraft. Are you him? Hey! How are you? I didn’t know you did web sites!”

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Sins Of The Father, Part 2

| Kalamazoo, MI, USA | Right | July 9, 2010

(My dad builds websites from home, but when’s he’s out I answer his office phone and take notes for him. I am a 20 year old female, and my father is a 55 year old male.)

Me: “Hello, this is [my father]’s office, how may I help you”

Customer: “Hello, I need to ask you a question about this design template.”

Me: “I’m sorry. My dad isn’t in right now but I can take a message.”

Customer: “Oh, good heavens! You know, you sound exactly like your father.”

Me: “Okay?”

Customer: “Are you Christian?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well that must be it then. All you heathens sound the same to me. Well, I’ll call back.” *hangs up*

Related:
Sins Of The Father

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Misundertanding Basic Printables

| Nevada, USA | Right | January 30, 2010

Caller: “Can you add a button to that page?”

Me: “Sure, but you need to be more specific. What do you want it to do?”

Caller: “Can it make the user press ‘File’, ‘Print’?”

Me: “Not exactly. I can get it to the print dialog though.”

Caller: “But it can’t press ‘File’ and then ‘Print’?”

Me: “Are you asking for a button that prints the page?”

Caller: “No! I want the button to press the file menu button, then select print for them.”

Me: “This is a website. You want me to control a user’s mouse?”

Caller: “Is that really so hard to do?”

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