Stupidity That Makes You Go Wow

| Henderson, NV, USA | Funny Names, Technology, Uncategorized

Customer: “I wanted to know about SEO. What’s that?”

Me: “SEO is Search Engine Optimization. In a nutshell, I can help you to get noticed by search engines.”

Customer: “So, you’re SEO are you? I want to meet him.”

Me: “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

Customer: “SEO is the name of a friend of mine in World of Warcraft. Are you him? Hey! How are you? I didn’t know you did web sites!”

Sins Of The Father, Part 2

| Kalamazoo, MI, USA | Family & Kids, Religion, Technology, Uncategorized

(My dad builds websites from home, but when’s he’s out I answer his office phone and take notes for him. I am a 20 year old female, and my father is a 55 year old male.)

Me: “Hello, this is [my father]’s office, how may I help you”

Customer: “Hello, I need to ask you a question about this design template.”

Me: “I’m sorry. My dad isn’t in right now but I can take a message.”

Customer: “Oh, good heavens! You know, you sound exactly like your father.”

Me: “Okay?”

Customer: “Are you Christian?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well that must be it then. All you heathens sound the same to me. Well, I’ll call back.” *hangs up*

Sins Of The Father

Misundertanding Basic Printables

| Nevada, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “Can you add a button to that page?”

Me: “Sure, but you need to be more specific. What do you want it to do?”

Caller: “Can it make the user press ‘File’, ‘Print’?”

Me: “Not exactly. I can get it to the print dialog though.”

Caller: “But it can’t press ‘File’ and then ‘Print’?”

Me: “Are you asking for a button that prints the page?”

Caller: “No! I want the button to press the file menu button, then select print for them.”

Me: “This is a website. You want me to control a user’s mouse?”

Caller: “Is that really so hard to do?”

The Last Days Of Rasputin

, | Uncategorized

(I’m a graphic designer for a small sign shop. When the customer service rep leaves for lunch I’m stuck running the front desk for an hour. Since I mostly work in the back, I’m only trained on how to take orders and payments. On this fateful day the CSR was out sick and the owner had to step out for about ten minutes to run an errand. A man with a thick Russian accent steps into the shop.)

Customer: “I need these now.” *throws a book of zodiac signs down on the counter*

Me: “Okay… what is it you need?”

Customer: “These! These! I talk with your father earlier about this and I need now!”

Me: “Um… my dad doesn’t work here. Do you mean my boss?”

Customer: “Whatever. He said you have done today.”

Me:“Well sir, we are pretty busy right now and we don’t usually guarantee a sign in the same day. I could have it to you tomorrow at the earliest.”

Customer: “I need this, this and this. Now. He said he get them now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t really know what you spoke to him about, but he will be back in a few minutes and you can speak with him personally about it.”

Customer: “I need now! He said he get them now! You go make them now!”

Me: “Tell me what you want and I will do my best to make them for you.”

Customer: “He knows. He’ll tell you. Go make them.”

Me: “I told you he is not here right now. If you want to leave the book here, I will talk to him about it and get the order together for you.”

Customer: “DO YOU HAVE LIFE?!”

Me: “Did you just ask if I have a life?”

Customer: “LIFE! LIFE! DO YOU HAVE IT?!”

Me: “Um… yeah. I have a life. It’s in the back of the shop. Please leave.”

Customer: *shouts something in Russian and storms out the door*

Coworker: “What the h*** was that all about?”

Me: “I really don’t know!”

Amen, Part 2

, | Uncategorized

Caller: “I’m not happy with the website.”

Me: “Why?”

Caller: “It’s not reporting my usage correctly.”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that. Is it saying you have used more than you think you have?”

Caller: “No, it’s saying I have not used any.”

Me: “Oh, that means we were accidentally giving it to you for free. Thanks for telling me!”

Caller: “Crap! I should learn not to complain!”


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