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We’re Still Shocked People Listened

, , , | Right | May 8, 2020

My local area just got hit by a small snowstorm. The following week, we got hit by an even bigger one. Because locals freak out if we get any sort of storm other than rain, all the stores locally are sold out of anything snow-related. During my shift the day after the storm, I probably go through this conversation about 200 times.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Home Improvement Store]. We are currently out of: snow shovels, sand, ice melt, kerosene, propane, heaters, sleds, window scrapers, and de-icer. How can I help you?”

Caller: “You answered my question, thank you.”

At least I didn’t make people drive out in unsafe conditions for the information!

Will Get It Done Come Rain Or Shine

, , , , , | Right | May 8, 2020

I work for a landscape design company in southern Arizona. I have a client who lives here during the winter when it is much warmer than their main home, which is Seattle. 

We are installing a landscape. It starts raining and we tell our crews to leave the site and quit for the day as the ground is becoming very muddy; plus, it is cold outside and we don’t want them to get sick.

The client calls me, speaking in an irate voice.

Client: “Why is the crew leaving? It is only 11:00 am.”

Me: “We told them to stop for the day due to the rain. Since it is cold outside, they could get sick. Also, because of the bare dirt in the yard, if it gets muddy they could make ruts in the yard, making more work for us and costing you more money to repair the damage.”

Client: “Workers where I am from work in the rain all the time.”

Me: “Well, that may be true, but when it gets above 90 degrees, are workers where you are from still working or do they quit for the day? Our crews here work many days in heat above 110 degrees.”

There is a long pause, and then he finally speaks before hanging up.

Client: “Well, they’d better finish on time.”


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A Waitress Who Knows How To Keep Her Cool

, , , , , , , , | Working | April 29, 2020

My mom, stepdad, best friend, and I are driving from Vermont back to Florida after a summer trip to visit my mom and stepdad’s home. We stop for a day in DC to go museum-hopping and have a great time. Then, we get back on the road and our AC goes out. In DC. In the middle of a heatwave.

Nothing for it, we pile some extra water bottles from the trunk into the cab and carry on south, with a plan to get the AC fixed when we hit my uncle’s in Jacksonville — a ten-hour drive.

By the time we’re in South Carolina, we’re all overheated, tired, and hungry, so we decide to stop for lunch at a southern chain restaurant. We melt out of the car into vaguely humanoid puddles and manage to flop our way through the doors into the blessedly cool restaurant.

At first, the hostess looks up at us with the standard welcoming smile, but then she does a double-take and practically shouts, “Y’all look like death warmed over!”

I think one of us mumbles something about the busted AC and driving, but she’s already herding us deeper into the restaurant until we’re hit with an arctic blast straight to our flushed faces. We collapse into the chairs around the table she’s lead us to, that is directly under a vent, while she vanishes and reappears in seconds with a full pitcher of ice water and four glasses.

I don’t even remember what any of us ate or whether the food was even good or bad; I just remember this amazing hostess who made sure that we were taken care of first and foremost. She managed to make the rest of the drive so much more bearable!


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Customer Service, Come Rain AND Shine

, , , , , , | Right | April 18, 2020

I was working as a cashier during a very rainy summer. When I finished ringing up a customer, I would always ask if there was anything else I could do for them. A lot of customers, thinking they were clever and original, would ask me to stop the rain. I would look out the window, snap my fingers, and then look annoyed and apologetic when the rain didn’t stop, and it made the customers smile.

One day, it was raining extra hard and a customer asked me to stop the rain. I looked out and snapped my fingers at the sky and, by pure coincidence, the rain immediately stopped and within about ten seconds the sun began to shine brightly.

I was as astonished as anyone, but I managed to keep a straight face, turned back to the customer, and asked, “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

She just backed away slowly, gripping her purse, staring at me with eyes like saucers, and then turned and fled.

Weather Is Not The Referee’s Field Of Expertise

, , , , , | Learning | April 4, 2020

I’m playing in my kids’ league soccer game in Omaha. Omaha is in tornado alley, and during the game, we can see the skies starting to change. My father, who has noticed and is listening to the radio, comes out during a break in the game to talk to the referee.

Father: “There’s been a tornado warning issued. Perhaps we should stop the game.”

Referee: “Nah. The weather is still good. We’ll keep playing.”

We continue playing, and a bit later, my father comes out again.

Father: “It’s been upgraded to a tornado watch.”

Referee: “Is it for this area?”

Father: “No, but it is nearby.”

Referee: “Then we’re going to keep playing.”

And we continue to play. Finally, my father comes out for a third time.

Father: “They say it’s coming this way.”

FINALLY, they stopped the game.